Jihaddy...

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White Men...

Everybody Betray Me.

My Xbox 360 died yesterday. The dreaded E74 error, in case you're taking notes. Microsoft has kindly agreed to fix it for free, so the poor Box is now on its way to Texas for a look-see. As for myself, and my constituents, we've resorted to mourning its temporary vacation. In light of it all, I will say that the silver lining is the hope that we will take advantage of its time away to rid ourselves of its addictive grasp. Maybe, perhaps, I'll actually get something done.

Oh, Hi Mark!

My latest running mix, featuring thirty-three minutes of continuous fitness favorites:

- Chaiyya Chaiyya Bollywood Joint* - Sukhwinder Singh and Sapna Awasthi, featuring Punjabi MC

- Such Great Heights - The Postal Service

- Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings

- Let's Go To The Mall - Robin Sparkles

- FutureSex/LoveSound - Justin Timberlake

- Don't Say Nuthin' - The Roots

- Apocalypse Please - Muse

- New Skin - Incubus

*Video from the Bollywood film Dil Se. My version of the song is from Spike Lee's Inside Man. Similar, but not the same, but I LOVE that video, so, yeah...

You're Tearing Me Apart, Lisa!

Things I learned/remembered while cleaning out my Gmail inbox:

- I once applied for a job as an assistant editor to a man (Ben Unguren) who would later become a professor at BYU, and for whom I would be his very first TA. Weird, eh?

- I received an ORCA grant that I never took, nor actually ever wanted, for a documentary project about Islam in Paris. Our funds needed never matched the grant's award amount.

- I used to write copious emails to a friend (hi Nephi) back and forth, wherein we would review the latest movies we'd seen. I enjoyed them thoroughly.

- I got cleared to register for TMA 291 (Film History) before I was ever in the film program.

- I used to sing in the French Choir. It was actually kinda fun.

- I used to write to a girl from France on a pretty regular basis. And no, it's not what you think.

- I actually used to keep in contact with mission friends.

- My Facebook account started on March 4th of 2005. Back then, it was called thefacebook.com. Old Skool.

- I remembered how much I hated TMA 112.

- I almost applied for school at CUNY in New York.

I'm still not finished, so I'm sure there's more to learn and reminisce about. I'm just amazed that all of this was recalled simply through emails I'd received.

Picture Book...

My little brother likes to collect odd, yet unbelievably hilarious pictures and GIF animations. Here are a few for you to enjoy:

Heeeeey....

I'll post more, if you so desire...

Beep Beep, Beep Beep, Yeah!

I've been doing a lot of thinking; a bit more than normal, but not quite enough for it to get me anywhere, but amongst my thoughts I've come to this odd, yet profound conclusion about my life: With all the hoopla often associated with H-Wood and it's glamtastic lifestyle, I've decided that, in spite of my current detest for mediocrity, I really just want to be successful. I really only want to provide, not prosper. I want to tell a story or two, get some foldin' money, and be on my way. Find a niche, give it a whirl, then slowly drift away into old age.

I'll cop to being enamored with fame at one point in my life, wondering at what age I'll win my Oscar, and whether or not I'll have kids by then. I often imagined myself back in France, showcasing my film in Cannes, while, merely three days later, seeing posters for my film adorning every bus stop sur les Champs-Elysées. But, as I think about all of that now, the only word I think of to describe all of that is nice. It would really be nice. That's about all. Pretty vanilla, right? The thing is, I've managed to find fulfillment and joy in things other than fame (since I have yet to experience it), so I know my life can be complete without it. So, why seek it? Why worry about it? I certainly want to get where I need to go, but why choose the path least followed, when the well-worn one is just as wonderful. Robert Frost certainly meant well with his poetry, but I feel like I'm already taking the road less traveled, so why run through the weeds just to find something that may never be there? There are just too many metaphors to wade through before I manage to find myself content with something that's as fickle as a snowstorm in the Sahara. Why chase something that will undoubtedly let you down at some point?

Case in point: Johnny Carson lived 30 years or so in the television spotlight, arguably the best host late night television has or ever will see, but the moment it was done, poof, he was gone. He knew it all meant nothing. He didn't live the rest of his days Norma Desmond style, hoping Leno or Letterman would ask him back for his legendary close-up; he just disappeared. He was done, and part of me wonders if deep down, he'd been begging for it for a long, long time. I'm sure he was proud of what he did, and loved every minute of it, but he knew what mattered.... Can I just say it? Wonderful. It just sounds so wonderful.

But, I don't want to be Carson. I really don't. I just want to be successful. I don't think it's too much to ask for, right? I'm convinced I'll find it. Yeah, you can say that I'm only shooting for the moon instead of the stars, but I just have this one thing to say to you: It's still outer space, right?

Je t'aimais, je t'aime et je t'aimerai...

This morning I woke up, and wished I was still here:

Paris

Rouen

Auxerre

Limoges

Mes pôtes de Paris à St. Merri.

This year marks five years since I returned, and seven since I left, and not a day goes by that I don't wish I was back. Those were the most illuminating, exhilarating, captivating, frustrating, pontificating and satisfying 18 months (yes, only about 18 months in country) of my sad existence; oh how I wish I could do it again...

Here's to the past!

à plus...

Kidney Now!

Nobody...

• Nobody eats at the Olive Garden anymore
  
• Nobody finds Jonah Hill funny
• Nobody cares about plot holes in the new Star Trek
• Nobody wants to see Meg Ryan's new face
• Nobody watches Lost for the characters
• Nobody reads Playboy for the articles
• Nobody wants to find meaning in everything
• Nobody likes religion
• Nobody eats carbs
• Nobody finds Dan Brown relevant
• Nobody cares about Jer3miah
• Nobody hates Arrested Development
• Nobody wants to see your fauxhawk
• Nobody eats a hearty breakfast
• Nobody sleeps in late
• Nobody uses the new Facebook
• Nobody pays full price at Disneyland
• Nobody hits babies
  
• Nobody can resist the Mango
• Nobody plays with their Nintendo Wii
• Nobody parties hard and never regrets it
• Nobody always loves their tattoos
• Nobody gives of themselves
• Nobody hearts the Padres
• Nobody really liked Danny Gokey
• Nobody is ever worth losing
• Nobody should never have friends
• Nobody really hates The Beatles
• Nobody does it like Sara Lee
• Nobody favors Dolby Digital to DTS
• Nobody thinks Chris Nolan is a hack
• Nobody welcomes you to the Polynesian Culture Center
• Nobody likes their PC
• Nobody saw Serenity
• Nobody should ignore Joss Whedon
• Nobody isn't afraid
  
• Nobody should live without a broken heart
• Nobody shoots on film
• Nobody likes cinnamon gum
• Nobody should wear THAT much perfume
• Nobody has ever seen an elephant fly
• Nobody likes morning radio shows
• Nobody finds Kathie Lee Gifford funny
• Nobody will pay extra for your supplements, silly
• Nobody doesn't like a good massage
• Nobody reads this blog
  

Jacky Jormp-Jomp

Question: Why do I always assume the worst? I have some kind of disease, I think, which makes me completely incapable of assuming anything good about anybody. I won't get into specifics, but I've recently done this several times to several different folks, and it's just rude and insensitive, but I really can't help it. My imagination feeds off of manufactured drama, and so I suppose it's only natural for me to manufacture drama in my own life. I remember as a child pretending my life was a sitcom, or a cheesy Disney movie (à la Honey I Shrunk The Kids, or The Big Green), in an effort to spice things up. I actually remember creating moments of dramatic intensity in my head from mundane situations, like this one, for example:

I'd leave a newly purchased toy in the car whilst running errands with my mom. In my head, the camera would watch as my mother and I would leave the car, and as we'd leave, it'd pan down to the toy, in a sort of "Uh oh! He shouldn't have left that..." moment.

So, that was me, directing my life's smaller moments into swells of dramatic flair that no one else would (or should) ever find interesting. And, now, as a fully formed adult with a college degree and years of life lessons merit badges attached to his sleeve, I still do it, except to a degree that borders on psychotic. I don't think it's because I expect the worst out of those I love, but instead that I fear the worst. I've grown accustomed to seeing so many big dramatic moments, plot twists, and character reversals that I've managed to put those things into my own life, especially where they don't exist.

BUT, the difference here is that these plot developments don't make my life any more interesting; they make them more complicated. If these assumptions were true, then that would certainly make for a fast-paced thrill ride, but they're not. Often my assumptions result in mundane realizations, and gross misunderstandings. It's embarrassing how often I've had to mentally put my foot in my mouth.

I guess I'm grateful for my shier nature, as it doesn't allow me the tenacity to confront these assumptions head on, and make a fool of myself. Still, my head gets dizzy with my wild imagination, and that's enough to make me feel the fool for assuming so much.

This is the part of the post where I say that I should look to a brighter future, but I don't. My future isn't bright. As long as I continue to saturate my thoughts with story, I'll always look for ways to create drama in my own life. Oh well, right?

A Box-Office Songsation...

I am debating whether or not to apologize for my absence. I think I've decided not to, since it's not like I owe you anything, especially an apology. Buy me a prime rib dinner at somewhere besides a state-line casino, and maybe I'll give you a "Well, maybe it WAS a long time", but that's all.

So, in honor of my lack of regular postings, I'll let you know about all of the other things I've managed to make regular fixtures in my life:

- I'm writing regularly. In fact, everyday for the past week or so I have made progress on a Courier-stained document of some kind, and it feels refreshing, liberating, and most importantly, fun.

- I'm exercising regularly. In other words, I'm bringing sexy back.

- I'm cutting down on my shows on a regular basis. I've managed to cut at least three shows from my normal rotation, with more to come, I think. I need to focus my time, and trying to keep up with EVERYTHING (except reality) on TV is a full-time job. And so, until I am actually employed by TV Guide, I'll pass on trying to fill my media cup.

- I'm playing video games more regularly, and not ad nauseum. Now, most of you would call this a negative, but my inner-child craves this sort of escapism, and I often get pangs of (financial) guilt whenever I see my Xbox or Nintendo Wii sitting idly by. I enjoy playing games. So sue me. So, the fact that I've managed to control the amount of time that I play them, and create this much satisfaction is a big deal for me.

- I'm watching American Idol regularly. Now, again, most of you would call this a negative, but I have my reason, and his name is Adam Lambert. I've been an ardent supporter of this awesome performer since high school, and to see him pretty much blow everyone away on Idol this year has been fun. He was amazing then, and he's amazing now.

That's it for the moment. Lastly, I want to recommend Star Trek (the new one), cause it's pretty great, fan of the shows or not (I'm no fan, trust me). I saw it last night, and despite the CONSTANT (literally) jabbering from the d-bag's behind me (Words to the Wise: just because the movie goes silent, does not mean your mouths have to open. Quiet moments in film are meant to be just that: quiet...), it was a wonderful movie-going experience. It's the very definition of a satisfying spectacle, a phrase Hollywood only seems to half understand (the latter half). A good, recent example of this? Wolverine. *blech* Loved the cameos from Amanda Foreman and Grunny (WHADDUP! To my Felicity crew, dawgz!), and I'm happy to say that Zach Quinto is MUCH better than the dreck they're writing for him on Heroes. A LOT better. And J.J., you're still my cinematic guru; keep it up.

cheers!

The Pelican Brief

You asked. I give:

Alright, so for those of you who watch Chuck (and if you don't, why not? It's a relatively harmless good time), you probably know about Captain Awesome.

Captain Awesome (seen to your left, my right) is the oft shirtless beefcake seen traipsing around the apartment of Chuck and his sister, Ellie (also pictured). Awesome (as he's often called by Chuck) is Ellie's doctor fiancé, and probably one of the nicest guys in the world. He is the perfect gentleman to Ellie, and a sweet "bro" to Chuck's nerdtastic antics and even to his friends. He's loving, caring, and ripped; he's like Edward, but without the sparkles and the blood sucking (and the creepy night-stalking). He's like the epitome of the perfect guy, a great foil for both of the Bartowski siblings who are full of insecurities.

So, how does this all relate to BYU? Well, within the walls of the world's largest (and driest) Bubble, you'll find a whole mess of Captain Awesomes. Yeah, sure, there's a good number of Chuck's, or even Morgan's (Chuck's hopeless best friend), but the vast majority seem to fall into the Awesome category...

Why? Well, if it's not apparent already to most people, BYU has a lot of pretty faces. A lot. Looks are very important to both guys and girls, and it shows. When the metrosexual movement threatened to destroy the very fabric of society, the homies at the BYU were all over it. Finally! They cried! They could dress fab-u-lous, and still get girls! There's a lot of superficiality involved in it, but this quest for sex appeal is so common there because, in the game of coupling, looks are paramount.

But, you ask, not everyone is as good looking as Captain Awesome... Yes, but you've seemed to have forgotten the other half of what makes Captain Awesome so awesome: his genteel nature. Now, you'd be hard-pressed to argue that BYU is not full of the nicest people on the planet... A few examples: If you're running into a building, 9 times out of 10, the door will be held open for you... If you lose something on campus, you'll probably get it back... If you slip on some ice, you'll probably get helped... They're just like that. The majority of the guys at the school served missions, faithfully giving up themselves for two years, and getting lost in the service of others, so that's certainly a factor. They've served in leadership positions, walked through scary neighborhoods, faced daily persecution, and they all (myself included) came out the other side, smiling, and grateful for those two years. So, in essence, the majority of the males at Brigham Young University are, in some respects, Captain Awesomes in their own right.

But, you ask again (what's with the buts? Are you never satisfied?), what does this all mean? Well, having come out of the BYU experience unmarried, single and yearning, I feel like I had to take stock and think "What did I do wrong?"*

This is when I began to realize that during my time there, I was in CONSTANT competition with the Captain Awesomes. I can't call myself awesome. I just can't. I know I'm not drop-dead handsome, and I'm okay with that. I know I don't dress fashionably, or wear polo shirts, and I'm definitely okay with that. I know my body is tubbier than it should be (not okay with that), but I'm willing to accept it for now. Yeah, I served a mission, and I learned a ton, but I still feel spiritually weak. I consider myself a nice guy, but I tend to become an intense misanthrope when placed in small spaces with big crowds, or at Smith's on a Monday or Saturday night. I feel flawed. And I project that. A lot. I'm aware of this.

So, here's my theory:

People like me will always be overlooked, because of the Awesomes of the world. And, in an environment like BYU, I didn't stand a chance, since the majority of the student population falls into the Awesome category in some respect, whereas I just don't have what it takes.

I know my theory is flawed (its a theory after all), and like all theorists, I must recognize these flaws. Here they are:

Most people feel like me. Most people feel inadequate, and no matter how strong spiritually, or attractive physically, most human beings feel flawed (as they should, or else we'd all be screwed). Also, me blaming my singles status on factors out of my control is lazy, and stupid. I'm well aware that I could have dated anyone that I wanted to, but the fact is, I didn't. I didn't date hardly at all. My own fault. And also, who am I to classify myself as throughly un-Awesome? I don't think I'm allowed to say this, but for all intents and purposes, I'm not awesome. Okay? So, just roll with it. If you disagree, then comment below. If you're also single, and ready to mingle, you know my number...

But, what I can say is that the problem with BYU for people with low self-image is that they will most certainly not feel welcome. Yeah, people will love them, and they'll make friends, but will they date? Will they get married? Possibly, but not certainly. Being surrounded by Awesomes all day long can really make a person nervous, thrusting their self-esteem even further down the toilet. It's never easy to feel bad about who you are, but when there's a constant reminder that you aren't what you want to be, or what others wish you to be, it's devastating. I don't think I ever felt this bad, but I came close, especially during the lonely times.

But, I think it's why I abhorred the dating scene in Provo, because I just felt like I would never get a shot. Why pick me, when you can have Pecsnabs Smith? Or Tim McGelhair? It's all a very vicious, unending cycle of self-loathing and misanthropic detest. It's pretty lame.

But, lest you believe I'm bitter, or upset or what have you, I'm not. I actually never saw myself as being married while in school. I just couldn't imagine it. Would I have done it, had the opportunity arisen? Of course. I'm no fool.

So, there you have it. My soul, on a platter of speculation and NBC television programs. Don't pity me, because I don't need it. What I need is a girl, and I'm pretty sure I don't want her pity.

Is that too much to ask!?!?!?

More Useful I'd Be...

I was reminded today how much I love all of these.

I especially recommend:

This one...*

And this one...*

And then the "sequel" of sorts to the last one...*

This one makes me cry...

This one makes me laugh...

This is the one that started it all...*

But, I'd recommend them all. I really would.

cheers!

*Big ups to my peeps:
Carrie "The Bear" Shakes It,
Hayley "Draw Me Wearing This" Smith,
and Ben "Jammin'" Ungz.
Carrie is the brainchild behind Primary South London, formerly known as Earl; Hayley gave us Karolee: A Saga in Two Parts; and Big Ungz gave us Leroy, as well as a few others... Mad props, y'all...*

**Oh, and let's not forget Dean "If Eric Idle and Gene Wilder Sired A Canadian Socialist With A Penchant For Brilliance" Duncan, because this is his (and Ben Unguren's) baby... Nice...**

Pair A Ducks...

Lost makes my head hurt. Here's why:

Wouldn't it be weird to come to the realization that your central purpose in life is not to make a better future, but to actually make for a better present... That's kind of profound, when you think about it.

Also, wouldn't it be weird if you came to the realization that your future self (which is actually your past self) will be greatly influenced by your present self?

And, wouldn't it be wacky if you realized that no matter what you chose, even if you knowingly and directly defied what you believed to be the proper outcome, that no matter how defiant you try to be against it, fate will ALWAYS make things happen as they should?

And finally, isn't it crazy that in this case (unlike other bits of pop lit), no prophesy or omens are needed to declare to these people that "You Have A Destiny" - Of course they do: because it's already happened (but has it? Not to them, of course, but to their forebearers... Wha!?)

Cycles, cycles, cycles, cycles.... This show is all about cycles. How interesting that one of the first image's of the show's Second Season was a Mama Cass Elliot record spinning (in a constant, predetermined cycle), and the opening strains of "Make Your Own Kind of Music", the ultimate song about defying preset norms (or destiny, if you will).... Take a look-see (by the way, for all non-Losties, this was one of the COOLEST reveals this show had done up till that point...)



Ah ha! Have Free Will and Destiny finally found each other? Is holy matrimony on its way? Have these two ideas existed in a false dichotomy all of these years, trying to make us believe that you can't have both? If last week's episode taught us anything, it's that we are free to choose, but that doesn't mean that'll change the outcome...

See why my head spins every single week? And see why I itch to talk to someone at length about this? It's fascinating, if not maddening, but doesn't that make for the best type of media?

Dharma Lady

Firstly, I need to apologize. My gut tells me nothing is wrong, but my heart feels the guilt of something, and in this instance (as with most instances), the heart wins. So, if I have in any way, shape, or form, offended you, hurt you, pissed you off, frustrated you, bitten you, or otherwise irritated you, I cannot help but feel deeply sorry. The inner workings of my brain dictate that I must feel extreme guilt and sadness over the awful things I say and do, and like what Tom Hanks so boldly declares in the classic tech-savvy "will they or won't they" thriller, You've Got Mail...

"I must warn you, that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it…remorse inevitably follows"

Truer words have probably been spoken, but in this particular context, Mr. "Just Call Me Joe" Hanks is the I Ching... So, with that in mind, I just want to say, "I hope you're not mad at me, because I'm not mad at you."

Secondly, I came to this realization as I tried for once to actually go to bed at a decent hour:

I sure have been half-assing it lately.

And by "it", I mean everything.

Why, might you ask? Well, I suppose it has a lot to do with my situation. I've resigned myself to experience mediocrity, as if this is to be the expected post-collegiate experience and all. I've almost convinced myself that I'm happy waking up at 9:30 every morning, wandering aimlessly around the house, maybe doing some mild exercise, having a shower, and then figuring out on a minute by minute basis what the crap I'm gonna try next. By the time I decide to do something productive, it's time to eat dinner. And that's it. From there on out, my day is done. Nothing of worth to show for it. Nothing. Yeah, I finished a spec script for 30 Rock, and I've managed to do tons of edits on my senior project, but really? 8 months after graduating, and all I have to show for it is a half-way decent spec script and a new version of a film that should have been done 8 months ago? I've tried to write, but writing without a purpose feels like a chore, and one that is rarely rewarding (Just to be clear, writing my 30 Rock spec was the most fun I've had writing in a long, long time). I kick myself every day at around 11:30 pm, where I realize I have nothing to show for the past 15 hours that I've been awake, so I panic, and I think "Well, what can I do now?" As the fatigue of a day's layabout sets in (pathetic, I know), I decide rather quickly that instead of writing, I'll catch up on Breaking Bad, or watch some dopey movie on Instant Watch, all things that I can (and do) do during the day...

And this half-assing thing extends beyond my secular pursuits. I feel spiritually less than I have been in a while, and it's eating me up. I won't go into this, as it's personal, but being home has made it surprisingly harder to be where I want to be spiritually. I've just been experiencing a lot of adult onset anxiety (or AOA). Chalk that one up to the number 8, and the fact that three people I came to know well growing up have all left their wives to seek selfish endeavors... So you can imagine I've struggled a bit.

So yeah, half-assed. That's exactly how I'd describe my days as of late.

And for those of you mildly put off by my word choice, then I applaud your concern, but, let's be honest, folks: as someone I may have offended once put it, "There's sometimes really no other way to say it " - I'm paraphrasing, of course, but you get the point.

I'm tired of living my weeks Wednesday to Wednesday (if I need to explain this, you don't come here often), because eventually, Wednesdays will be full of summer replacement programming, and So You Think You Can Dance results shows. Soon, what will I have that I can genuinely look forward to? I've grounded my reality in the experiencing of the unreal, and it's making my personal life a living hell. I don't sleep at night because I worry about everything I'm not doing, and how I need to start doing it. It's why I usually don't even try to sleep until I'm tired. It's why I wake up at 9:30.

I'm trying to remedy the writing issues with Script Frenzy, a "competition" of sorts where folks are challenged to complete a screenplay (or a comic book, or a TV spec pilot), of about 100 pages in 30 days (or the month of April). There's no prize, other than a finished script (which is actually a worthy reward). But, I'm on the fence as to what to write. I wrote about a page and half today of something, before giving up, and watching the Damages finale (sooooo good, by the way), so I'm thinking of trying something new. I want to be excited to write again, and I hope this can do it.

As for the other things, we'll see. I know what I need to do, but I just don't have the balls to do it. Well, that's not entirely true. I always feel like I have the best of intentions, just never the gall to follow through. I've never been good with goals, setting them or achieving them. I hate to be disappointed, so I try to avoid setting my sights too high... (and I'm going into filmmaking, why? *shrug*)

I dunno. All in all, this blog post reminds me of something I heard Meg Ryan once say:

"The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant so much more to me than so many somethings."

So, maybe it ain't all bad. Maybe doing nothing can actually prove to be something. Nora Ephron emphatically states in a revealing behind-the-scenes featurette that "Everything is copy", meaning that everything is a story; I just think I need to pull together everything good about my time here, and forget my failures. I have a lot to be grateful for, being home, and I suppose I need to hold on to those, and stop wishing things were perfect.

I think this sums it all up:

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void...."

*le sigh*

1-900-OKFACE

I had a whole post worked up about this awesome creative epiphany I had while writing that I felt I needed to share... So, I wrote it out, and actually posted it, but then I realized that it just wasn't suitable for public consumption. So, in exchange for that, I'll just mention this:

Carl Jung was a very smart man.

You da man, CJ...

Merkins of Hope

Random Bits 4 U:

- Wait, wait... Hold on... You haven't seen this yet? Check it:



- I'm tired of Facebook. Some people know of my anger and frustration with the "New Facebook", but this is actually more than just skin deep. See, my own personal attachment to Facebook has become a sorta sad surrogate for what most people would refer to as "a life." All of my friends are on Facebook, and so I have, in all of my self-imposed solitude, begun to equate their interest in my continued friendship by how many times they write on my wall, or comment on my pictures. I've managed to convince myself that getting someone to write on my wall is about as amazing as having a friend over for dinner. It's pathetic. I'm trying to quit.

- Have I ever told you my "Captain Awesome" theory regarding BYU? Remind me to tell you later... It's lengthy...

- I volunteered at the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament on Monday. San Diego State played (and lost) against Stanford. I got to wear a cool badge, use a fax machine, and make copies, all while running back and forth to the bathroom, thanks to the countless courtesy bottles of Vitamin Water (Fruit Punch, which is the bestest flavor), and Smart Water that I drank. I also got to walk out on the court (the sidelines, silly) during play. Exciting.

- Saw Coraline today. LOVED it. Creepy for sure, but amazing nonetheless. The 3D was some of the best I've seen (it didn't FEEL like a 3D movie... It just felt good, you know? It's hard to explain.) The experience was almost ruined by half the screen turning green for a good chunk of the second act, but after some finagling, it was fixed. No free ticket. Should I have asked for one?

- I've been doing some MAJOR edits to my senior film. I won't divulge here, but suffice it to say, there are some scenes missing. And I think I like it that way...

- I gave up (refined) sugar about a month ago, but I've had a few slips. One of them was yesterday. I had maple syrup AND ice cream. Overload. Overall, I've done well. No slips today.

- I babysat again for my sister. I don't mind, but the poor thing is dealing with his first cold, and he's miserable. Cute, but miserable.

- Who wants a peek into what I'm writing? I'll give you five words dealing with each script/idea:

• Artists, Rivalry, Kittens, Bonsai, Fellini
• Revolution, Circus, Dystopia, Amnesia, Objectivism
• Utah, Murder, Family, Forgiveness, Depression
• New Adventures of Old Christine

- I saw Watchmen twice. Definitely not a film meant for light consumption. I think it was unfairly maligned by critics and audiences. It's not a "surface" film; it needs to be devoured. I await the director's cut with much eagerness.

- Oh! I saw Changeling, with Big Lips Jolie. Wonderful film. She's incredibly talented. It's a sad film, but incredibly engaging. A tad violent at parts, and a few swears, but I will recommend it, despite its rating. A good film about hope, and determination. And, you get to hear Angie scream the words "son" and "back" a lot.

- Can't recommend Watchmen, tho...

- Is Kent there? I finished "Spider-man: Blue". Excellent piece of work. Thanks for the recommend...

That is all...

cheers!

Señor Macho Solo

Hey folks! It's time for a good old fashioned Guessing Game....

Name this actor/comedian:



Hint: He's a former cast member of Saturday Night Live.

Take a guess in the comments section, or just be lazy and click here for the answer.

AIDS Nuggets

Hey friends!

I present to you, the "Almost But Not Quite A Mac" Dell Adamo

Sorry, but if it looks like a Mac, smells like a Mac, but can only run Windows, it'll never be a Mac.

Duh!

Still, good effort, Dell... I commend your ability to cheat off someone else's paper...

Ramona Flowers

Holy crap, y'all....
Did anyone else see this last night?

Kings

'Twas pretty awesome. Big and bold with loads of Shakespearean flair, this is the kind of the dramatic shot in the arm network television needs. More often then not, this kind of prestige storytelling is picked up by HBO or Showtime (or, as of late, AMC), so having it available to everyone is pretty darn encouraging, and exciting. Give it a chance. Here are the first 20 minutes for your own perusal. If you like political intrigue, alternate universes, and/or updated Bible stories, then give this a look-see....



For the full episode click here.

Federal Bunch of Sticklers

Please understand this before watching: I HATE Elmo. I despise what he's done to Sesame Street (yes, I do have an opinion on the matter), and so I can't condone him, or even his very existence. BUT, I suspect that if Ricky Gervais were to permanently join the cast of Double S, I'd be a faithful viewer, Elmo and all...

EXHIBIT A:


On a side note, I'm seriously thinking about law school......
No really, I'm not joking.
If someone wants to talk me down off this cloud, go ahead. I'm looking into when to take the LSAT...

cheers!

Bitenüker

I really can't call myself a Coldplay fan, but on occasion, I do enjoy their music videos. Here's their latest bit of digital fantastic:

Midnight At The Oasis

I had a dream the other night that Michael Cera and I were the oldest, and dearest of friends.

This is Michael Cera

We were at some theatre, watching something prolific and hilarious, and I kept asking him about Billy Pilgrim. He seemed incredibly confused, and I felt incredibly stupid. This dream bugged me for a while ( I had the dream probably three nights ago), and now I realize why:

Billy Pilgrim - Protagonist of Kurt Vonnegut's classic sci-fi novel Slaughterhouse Five, who, like our favorite LOSTaways, becomes "unstuck in time"

SCOTT Pilgrim - Protagonist of a series of graphic novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley, which is now being made into a feature film by Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead, TV's Spaced).

Guess which one has the most to do with Michael Cera? And I'll give you a hint: it's not Billy...

Don't ask me why this made me feel stupid. It probably has to do with the deepest longings of my heart, which just happens to be to become besties with sweet lil George Michael Bluth. You know, the kind of friendship that involves sharing an afternoon chocolate shake at the local soda jerk, and brushing our hair until our periods are in sync. Of course Tina would be there, as well as Emma and Meryl. I suspect Tony Hale could show up, just as long as he brings along Jessica Walter (naturally). And Bonnie Hunt can come too, but she has to bring some sort of salad (preferably without mayonaise). Last, but not least, Ms. Parker Posey will be pleased entertain everyone with a rousing edition of "Teacher's Pet".... It would be a night to remember, or forget, depending on how free the bar is, I suppose...


Skip to 0:18 for the goods, and stay for the rest... It's a gas...

Aren't my fantasies fun?

cheers!

Juno32 Is A D-Bag

It's pathetic enough that I watch as much television as I do, but in my "line of work", I feel its incredibly important to know your field backwards and forwards, and since I aspire to work in television, I figure I, well, need to know it. In my effort to "Better Know The Biz" as it might be said, I always try and watch the best television has to offer. Sometimes its absolute garbage not worth my time (Entourage, being a prime example) but most of the time it's every bit as good as the critics (and viewers) say it is.

Case in point: Breaking Bad

Yes, he is often without pants, if that's what gets you goin' in the mornin'...

This is a new show for me, despite being into its second season. I gave the show a shot last year, but I couldn't get into its dark tone at the time, for whatever reason. I wanted to like it, and the reviews indicated that it's awesome, but I just couldn't do it. With the start of the second season, AMC aired a marathon of the first season's seven episodes, so, in all earnestness, I TiVo'd the marathon. And so, guess what? I love it. I'm six episodes in, and it's unbelievable how good this show is.

Brief summary: Bryan Cranston (who won an Emmy last year for this role, but is best known as the the Dad on Malcolm in the Middle, or as Dr. Whatley, the Jewish convert dentist from Seinfeld) plays a chemistry teacher who, upon learning he has stage 3A lung cancer, decides to take up "cooking" and dealing crystal meth, in order to provide for his family (a pregnant wife and a teenage son with cerebral palsy) after he departs this mortal coil.

What makes this show so wonderful are the performances, particularly with Cranston. He knocks it out of the park on a minute by minute basis, adding extensive amounts of weight to an incredibly complex character. The supporting cast shines as well, particularly Cranston's washed-out partner, Jesse (played by Aaron Paul), who has gone from a burned out junkie in the pilot, to a rather complex young man, who I've actually begun to sympathize with. I could go on, really, but I won't (for your sake). But, I will say that if you're up for it, check out the first season on DVD.

And so, violent television programs aside, here are some baby pictures (since they seem to get me a lot of comments):





cheers!

Birthday Lasagna

This is what I look like Wednesdays at 9pm when LOST is nothing but a rerun...

Looks like I won't be watching anything...

Diaper Chicken

Yes.

Desolation Row

Watchmen
Sex, Masks, Rock n' Roll
Slo-mo bullets, blue phallus
A bit too faithful

I'm Just Sayin'...

Sorry, couldn't help myself. Just finished Season 2, and still think the season's final image is just bloody fantastic. On to Season 3! I'm starting to piece some things together, which is cool. I recommend all Lostphiles do the same. Don't do it all in one go; one or two episodes a week will probably suffice.

Man, this show is good. If you're not watching, hit yourselves a few times, get a Netflix account, and catch up, for cryin' out loud. It's just that cool.

cheers, Brutha...

Cocoa for Cuckoo Poops...

C - Danny Boyle, for being able to go from a zombie thriller, to a sci-fi chiller to an Academy Award. This author may be slightly disenchanted with the Oscars as of late, but kudos to you for staying true to yourself, and not making bait year in and year out - Stephen Daldry, I'm looking right in your direction....
L - Cox Arena at San Diego State University...
O - A ticket to the midnight showing of Watchmen: The IMAX Experience...
S - Sleepless nights, digging deeper into what exactly is 'funny'...
A - Verbally attacking Sean Penn's Oscar love-in... No one makes me feel bad for being straight, and gets away with it...
T - When life shoots you a t-shirt through a t-shirt cannon, push down everyone around you, because that shirt is sooooo worth it...

Tid Bits Today:

- I've noticed lately that I'm obsessive about being liked by everyone. The thought of someone not liking me drives me mad. I can't pinpoint the issue here, but I'm trying to remedy it. But please, don't hate me for it...

- Sean Penn noted that there were anti-gay protesters at the Oscar's Sunday night. How much you wanna bet none of them were Mormon? Yeah, sorry to disappoint you, Hollywood...

- I keep seeing this image of Harrison Ford, buttoning up his shirt, and looking straight into the camera, while I'm fast forwarding through commercials. It usually occurs right before the show is about to recommence, and I've never seen any product, or cause or anything to accompany this image. Any help on this would be great.

- Am I the only one sick of those High Fructose Corn Syrup commercials? The one thing they forget to tell you during their humorous approach to nutritional ignorance is that sugar is pretty bad for you. It's worse than fat. So, saying that HFCS has the same nutritional value as sugar is like saying cigarettes are as healthy as cigars. Yeah, pretty stupid.

- Have any of you tried the Perfect Pushup contraption? They're pretty fantastic. I've been doing it for two weeks now, and I feel a HUGE difference. There's a consistent burn every time I work out, and I'm sore more often, which is always a good sign.
I recommend them highly. Best $30 I've spent in a while.

- I haven't seen a movie in theaters in quite some time. The last one I saw was probably Benjamin Button, and that was in December. Makes me miss $5.50 matinees...

- I've kept the last six episodes of 30 Rock on my TiVo. I don't have the heart to delete them. But I know, someday, I'll be faced with some sort of Sophie's Choice scenario, and I'll have to delete a few to make way for the LOST season finale.

- Speaking of LOST, this past weeks was interesting. I don't understand how the writer's could have felt this episode would have been best aired before "316". I'm glad ABC intervened, because that would have confused even the fans. Although, the reveal of Locke, alive on the beach would have been pretty cool. Too bad ABC had to go and spoil that in the previews...

- P.S. - I'm rooting for Widmore...

- I finally watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and I've been wondering: what ever happened to Phoebe Cates? She was a babe, and then Drop Dead Fred happened, and she seemingly vanished. What's the deal, Phebes? Oh, and if you haven't seen Fast Times, don't. It's a lot more crass than I would have liked.
UPDATE: She married Kevin Kline and made babies. Her last film was in 2001... Hrrmmm....

- Andy Richter is rejoining Conan on his new show. Huzzah! The Late Night gods have proven their kindness with such a noble deed. Well done, good sirs!

- I'm kinda ashamed to admit that I'm excited for Portia de Rossi's new show Better Off Ted.

- Dollhouse, the new Joss Whedon, is actually pretty good so far. It's still finding its footing, but I'm hooked.

- Other good shows?
Flight of the Conchords - Michel Gondry directs! Kristen Wiig and Jim Gaffigan!
United States of Tara - The fourth episode was a nice change in pace, and it's kept that up ever since.
Damages - Soooo good this season...
Battlestar Galactica - Number 7!? Who is Daniel? I need to know!!!

- BYU sports fans are annoying.

cheers!

Hey Brutha...

Sorry folks, but this is another post about LOST...

I rewatched the previous episode, and something crossed my mind:

A lot has been made of the fact that Ben was at a marina, wet and covered in blood while he was on the phone with Jack. Most people have speculated that this is because he either killed, or tried to kill Penny, Desmond and/or Charlie (their baby, not the already dead rocker/ex-Hobbit). Their reasoning for this is that the Humes have a boat that they sail around to places far and wide. But, I must ask: How long does it actually take to get from London to Los Angeles BY BOAT!?!? Sorry, but they're not at the marina, unless they just can't seem to get away from the salty air and the harbor chicks. It is possible that the writers had a seriously lapse in judgment in regards to time and space (which wouldn't surprise me, given this season), but unless that is the case, it is nigh unto impossible for Penny, Desmond and Baby Charlie to have made it to Los Angeles by boat in the time presented us.*

How 'bout that!?

Side Note: My local ABC affiliate has begun airing LOST repeats on Saturday and Sunday evenings in High Definition, which is rad, and I've begun watching them. They're at the end of Season 2 now, and it's pretty great to see where they show was, and how much things have changed.

*All of this is accompanied with the assumption that Desmonds realization of his memory of Daniel is happening in temporal conjunction with Jack and Ben's quest to return to the Island. I can only assume that's the case, since there's no indication otherwise.

Doubting Thomas

MORE LOST SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED:

Strangely enough, I thought LOST was a little off it's game this week. This past episode just didn't "do it" for me, as the show normally does, and I think it has to do with the weak storytelling going on off the island, and it's a shame I didn't realize it until now.

On the island, it's answers, answers, answers, with some cool reveals, and some interesting (not redundant) questions asked. But, off the island? No dramatic tension. I think the best way for us to have seen the off island stuff played out, was to have seen them all get back to the island at the beginning of the season, and then, through flashbacks, shown us how we got to that point (both on and off). This way, we would have seen them on the island, working things out, and slowly coming to understand how they got there, à la season one. It was pretty clear at the end of season 4 that no one wanted to return, except Jack, so why drive this point into the ground with whiny characters? The audience knows they need to go back, especially since we're watching our on island characters suffer time flashes, migraines, nosebleeds and even death... So to see most of the Oceanic 6 so callously say "I'm never going back, even if it can help them" makes them (Sayid, Kate, Hurley and Sun) rather unsympathetic.

Also, while it's nice to have them back on the island, didn't it feel sorta rushed? Didn't it feel as if we missed something crucial, and now we have to see what happened in flashback? I don't know if I'm down with that.

My guess about how things panned out? The writer's probably felt the same things I felt; the characters were whiny, and they needed to just get back to the island, no questions asked, and we'll get to the details of it all later. I've trusted Team Darlton (Damon Lindelof, and Carlton Cuse, the show-runners) for 4 seasons now, so I'm up for some more. I still love where the show is headed with our Losties seemingly stuck in the 70s, posing as Dharma members, but the ride there seemed a tad bit bumpy.

The last podcast that Darlton put on noted that this episode (entitled 316) and next weeks episode, entitled The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham, were actually meant to be shown in reverse order, and that they could have been shown in any order, with no real issues, but the writer's felt this one was the best to show first, for whatever reason. This makes me more and more curious about what is to come next week, and if it'll make this past week's episode better. Who knows. All I know right now is that this episode left me feeling empty. Cool ideas, interesting information about the island, but overall, no narrative thrust worth investing in. I dunno.

So yeah, I just needed to vent that, since I gushed so lovingly about the show not a few days ago. So quickly things can change. I still think this season is an intriguing shift in the show's mythology, really giving it all to us in one go. I don't know if it'll be successful, but it certainly should leave a good chunk of the show left for some juicy character moments, and not a lot of mythology, which has never been the show's strength (just the carrot at the end of the character stick)... So for now, here's to better shows, and satisfying conclusions!

cheers, and Namaste...

It Walked On My Pillow

I hate to get even more esoteric on you folks, but I figured some of my fezellas needed (or wanted) to see this. It's apparently made the rounds in L.A. faster than film catches fire (which is very fast, in case you care), so if you've seen it already, well, then, you can just suck it, and watch it again:

Hollywood ASST
(WARNING: This video contains some PG-13 language, if not a few words that could make it R. You've been warned.)

Side Note: If you're not at all interested in breaking into the film industry, you can skip this, and not miss a thing. I kid you not, this is full of inside references galore, most of which I missed, so I don't think you'll get much out of it if you care less about the industry than I do...

My thoughts? I feel more depressed about L.A. than I did before I watched it. Reality is harsh, but this is just frustrating. With the job market in a slump, on top of the already impossible task of nailing an assistants gig, this just makes me see that there's very little to hope for if one aspires to rise through the ranks. *le sigh* Call it a part of the "game" industry folk must play, or whatever, but that won't change my feelings. It's why I can't watch Entourage without getting a migraine and a peptic ulcer....

*bah*... humbug.....

cheers, remorsefully...

Colin Firth's Sweaters

I don't know what's wrong with me right now, but I'm in the mood to blog. About nothing.

I'm actually in the midst of indulging rather shamelessly in the much-hyped Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice cross-over event. It's pretty compelling, being full of brain worms, mothers with PPD and the occasional heart-to-heart regarding one's love life. I was sad to see Melissa George leave the show for good. Oh well. And, side note: Kate Walsh is hot. Here's a photo of both:

     

I've made it a point to stop using my laptop in front of the TV, but recent events have caused it to travel from its usual spot in my sister's old bedroom into our family room. You see, I have a tendency to oftentimes pay more attention to the inactivity on my Facebook page rather than the exploits of say, Jack Bauer or even Ugly Betty (in her case, wacky exploits). I also tend to forget to zip through commercials, which is what has actually just happened (Immediacy!). Man, this laptop is no good for my TV viewing.... I moved it up to my sister's old room because it's generally pretty clean since it became our go-to guest bedroom (and we generally don't get a lot of guests), and it really helps to keep my mind clear while I try to write (emphasis on try). Also, her bed is about a thousand times more comfortable than any other chair/couch/bed/table in the house, so yeah, it's a nice place to try and work (again, mind your emphasis). My grandma is now asleep in there, so that's why my laptop is here, watching Grey's Anatomy.

My brother was here this weekend so he could see Casen (our new nephew). We had a good time, even though we had what felt like 24 hours to be with each other. Now he's back in the land of 185 and three-minute final projects. It's exciting to see him going through the program. I can only hope that he gets a little more out of it than I did. Don't get me wrong, I loved my time there, but there are still kinks, and unfortunately those kinks are making themselves manifest more and more in my post-college life as opposed to while I was in it. I won't get into the details about the kinks, because I'm sure they're incidental only to me and maybe a few others, and it's not fair to share wounds like that. I have to believe that those things are being worked on, and that my brother, and other film majors, will be able to benefit from them.

In other news: I have a hard time believing that Will.I.Am is anywhere near as prolific or as brilliant as Bob Dylan. And Pepsi is the last person that should to try and convince me of that.

D'ah! Once again, I forgot to fast forward.

I'm in the process of reading through Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics. It's pretty cool. It's like film theory, but for comic books. I'm not a heavy reader of said genre of novel, but I've always enjoyed reading them casually. But, even without a huge love for comic books, there are some fascinating observations about art, and how we perceive the visual image, which I think is indispensable for anyone interested in tapping into ANY visual medium. Film is similar to comics, in that it's a series of juxtaposed "shots", where the audience is encouraged to connect the dots between them, but each medium has a different language through which it conveys meaning. But, like Latin languages, they have many traits in common. I could go on, but why should I, when Mr. McCloud does a much better job... Seriously, film folks, it's a rad book. Check it out if you can. (Link takes you to Amazon)...

It's been raining like crazy here. It's stopped for now, but I suspect (according to my iGoogle app) that it'll start up again tomorrow.

So, how about LOST this season?

SPOILER ALERT!

This time travel thing has been both maddening, as well as brilliant. It's provided the show's writers with a way to show us in the present tense the history of the island, without using character flashbacks. It's constructed fabulously, and it's been used rather skillfully to help ratchet up the tension, and move the storytelling forward. I'm happy that the show has continued to feel fresh these past two seasons. Most shows in their fifth seasons feel like they've run their course, and viewers usually can predict their way through each episode's arc with no problems whatsoever. However, LOST has been one surprise after another, both on an episode by episode basis, but also with each season. And that's what good TV is about. Surprises. The uniqueness of the medium of episodic television should allow showrunners to surprise viewers and have them wonder. But, it seems that most shows are content to repeat their past successes, and that just makes me sad.

END SPOILERS

This episode of Grey's/Private Practice is coming to a close. It actually turned out to be pretty positive, not to spoil anything. I wish both shows could consistently be as entertaining as these were. My theory? Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh) should have never left Grey's Anatomy. She's unbelievably charismatic and endearing in her role, but only when she's surrounded by the folks at Seattle Grace. Sorry to editorialize about a show probably none of you watch, but there it is.

Alright, time to fly. It's late, and I'm tired. I might pop in a movie. That should be fun. Tomorrow I may be heading to my sister's place, so I'll probably get some writing done down there. I need to nip this writer's block in the bud. I blame our newly remodeled bathroom which occupied both my mental and physical real estate for a good two weeks. Now that it's done, I need to hunker down and write. A writing frenzy. Frenzied writing. 

I wish you all the best.

cheers.

---

Le château de ma mère (My Mother's Castle)

Sequel to "La gloire"

Amusing, touching, profound

Wonderfully sweet.

Jenna DeCarlo and the Polyphonic Spree

This video came to mind as I was walking down the stairs today... I cannot think of a single moment from a Beatles film that gives me more euphoric joy than this one, save for that moment where George falls in A Hard Day's Night...



I also LOVE these end credits (they begin at about a minute in, but watch it all, and catch John Lennon being called a swine... Priceless):



30 Rock Trivia!

- Didja know that The Girlie Show was originally titled "Friday Night Bits?"
- Also, Jenna Maroney's original name was Jenna DeCarlo...

Also:
If you have a facebook account (and I know you do), please help support this film:



Become a "fan" by clicking here. This is a grassroots effort to get this film the release it deserves. Even if you haven't seen the film, please, become a fan. This is one of those films that if you see it, you never forget it. I know I haven't.

There are clips on the page, so check those out. Also, you can head here as well:

mr. dungbeetle Official Website

Promotion!

cheers...

Sabor de Soledad

Didja Know...

- Liz Lemon was originally called "Lisa Lemon" in a very early draft of the 30 Rock pilot? And Tracy Jordan was known as "Lawrence Jordan"... True story...



cheers!

Girls With Low Self-Esteem

I caught this today while reading one of my movie news blogs I Watch Stuff:




These (and more) are all courtesy of an artist who goes by the name Spacesick, né Mitch Ansara. He also has a flickr account, but beware: it contains a few nude artists renderings, mostly of women. You've been warned. Check out his blog for some safer, more entertaining fare.

But, I must say, are these not the coolest things you've seen today? I used to be an avid novelization reader (mostly of films my parents wouldn't let me see... For some reason they were okay with me reading inappropriate movies...), and I think I would have tried to keep them around, had they looked this awesome. But they didn't.

cheers!