I'm starting to not like watching movies.
Shocker, right? Here I am, a self-proclaimed film buff/lover/sycophant and I've suddenly lost my passion. It's sad, I know. About as sad as a clown losing his funny, or a lumberjack developing a chainsaw allergy.
I scroll my Netflix queues, and I find nothing that interests me. I know of three or four movies I'd like to see in theatres, but I'm too cheap to buy a ticket.
Movies have become disappointments. The critical darlings end up being too boring, obscure or inaccessible, and ultimately bring me down. The blockbusters get me going, but they're like a sugar rush: all energy, no nutrition. Occasionally (read: Rarely) I find a happy medium--
The Dark Knight, for instance, a film that floored me once and still floors me today. I continue to admire its pacing, its bravado, its audacity, and its depth. Rarely does something that pulpy become something that profound.
But most films are disappointments. Not in the "Oh, that wasn't what I expected" sort of way, but more in the "Oh, it's over, so now what" kind of way... I sense a deeper issue at hand, but let's not delve into that right now. Most of the time, I sense the futility of filmmaking when I watch a film. I see it as the short-lived box office success it will be, the millions of dollars on DVD it'll make, and the countless ads on TNT when it airs. Soon, any film I want to see will be reduced to something as common as reruns of
Friends or
Sex and the City. Ten years from now it'll be Bargain Bin fodder at Walmart and Blockbuster. So, why care? Why make the effort anymore?
I actually don't have an answer to that. You could flog reason after reason why movies are awesome my way, but believe me, I'm aware of them, so save your fingers the typing time and write something else. I'm just kinda pissed off. I'm tired of feeling this way about film. I'm tired of trying to find something that will enrich me AND entertain me, but that seems to be so impossible to find. Old movies, new movies, what have you. I feel like I've exhausted what's "Good" and all that's left is "Just Okay" or "Not a Chance". Or winners of the Palme d'Or...
The only solace I find is in television, where the game changes weekly, and the thrills are seemingly never ending. New shows every fall and returning shows refreshed with re-invigorated storylines and characters; a fresh start on familiar ground. It's exciting, and it's alive. I want to feel this for film again. I want to feel like cinema is this growing entity that is constantly getting better, as opposed to constantly proving me right. I don't feel like that. All I see is retread after retread, and all I feel is mixed emotions and loads of disappointment.
All in all, it sucks.
