Je t'aimais, je t'aime et je t'aimerai...

This morning I woke up, and wished I was still here:

Paris

Rouen

Auxerre

Limoges

Mes pôtes de Paris à St. Merri.

This year marks five years since I returned, and seven since I left, and not a day goes by that I don't wish I was back. Those were the most illuminating, exhilarating, captivating, frustrating, pontificating and satisfying 18 months (yes, only about 18 months in country) of my sad existence; oh how I wish I could do it again...

Here's to the past!

à plus...

Kidney Now!

Nobody...

• Nobody eats at the Olive Garden anymore
  
• Nobody finds Jonah Hill funny
• Nobody cares about plot holes in the new Star Trek
• Nobody wants to see Meg Ryan's new face
• Nobody watches Lost for the characters
• Nobody reads Playboy for the articles
• Nobody wants to find meaning in everything
• Nobody likes religion
• Nobody eats carbs
• Nobody finds Dan Brown relevant
• Nobody cares about Jer3miah
• Nobody hates Arrested Development
• Nobody wants to see your fauxhawk
• Nobody eats a hearty breakfast
• Nobody sleeps in late
• Nobody uses the new Facebook
• Nobody pays full price at Disneyland
• Nobody hits babies
  
• Nobody can resist the Mango
• Nobody plays with their Nintendo Wii
• Nobody parties hard and never regrets it
• Nobody always loves their tattoos
• Nobody gives of themselves
• Nobody hearts the Padres
• Nobody really liked Danny Gokey
• Nobody is ever worth losing
• Nobody should never have friends
• Nobody really hates The Beatles
• Nobody does it like Sara Lee
• Nobody favors Dolby Digital to DTS
• Nobody thinks Chris Nolan is a hack
• Nobody welcomes you to the Polynesian Culture Center
• Nobody likes their PC
• Nobody saw Serenity
• Nobody should ignore Joss Whedon
• Nobody isn't afraid
  
• Nobody should live without a broken heart
• Nobody shoots on film
• Nobody likes cinnamon gum
• Nobody should wear THAT much perfume
• Nobody has ever seen an elephant fly
• Nobody likes morning radio shows
• Nobody finds Kathie Lee Gifford funny
• Nobody will pay extra for your supplements, silly
• Nobody doesn't like a good massage
• Nobody reads this blog
  

Jacky Jormp-Jomp

Question: Why do I always assume the worst? I have some kind of disease, I think, which makes me completely incapable of assuming anything good about anybody. I won't get into specifics, but I've recently done this several times to several different folks, and it's just rude and insensitive, but I really can't help it. My imagination feeds off of manufactured drama, and so I suppose it's only natural for me to manufacture drama in my own life. I remember as a child pretending my life was a sitcom, or a cheesy Disney movie (à la Honey I Shrunk The Kids, or The Big Green), in an effort to spice things up. I actually remember creating moments of dramatic intensity in my head from mundane situations, like this one, for example:

I'd leave a newly purchased toy in the car whilst running errands with my mom. In my head, the camera would watch as my mother and I would leave the car, and as we'd leave, it'd pan down to the toy, in a sort of "Uh oh! He shouldn't have left that..." moment.

So, that was me, directing my life's smaller moments into swells of dramatic flair that no one else would (or should) ever find interesting. And, now, as a fully formed adult with a college degree and years of life lessons merit badges attached to his sleeve, I still do it, except to a degree that borders on psychotic. I don't think it's because I expect the worst out of those I love, but instead that I fear the worst. I've grown accustomed to seeing so many big dramatic moments, plot twists, and character reversals that I've managed to put those things into my own life, especially where they don't exist.

BUT, the difference here is that these plot developments don't make my life any more interesting; they make them more complicated. If these assumptions were true, then that would certainly make for a fast-paced thrill ride, but they're not. Often my assumptions result in mundane realizations, and gross misunderstandings. It's embarrassing how often I've had to mentally put my foot in my mouth.

I guess I'm grateful for my shier nature, as it doesn't allow me the tenacity to confront these assumptions head on, and make a fool of myself. Still, my head gets dizzy with my wild imagination, and that's enough to make me feel the fool for assuming so much.

This is the part of the post where I say that I should look to a brighter future, but I don't. My future isn't bright. As long as I continue to saturate my thoughts with story, I'll always look for ways to create drama in my own life. Oh well, right?

A Box-Office Songsation...

I am debating whether or not to apologize for my absence. I think I've decided not to, since it's not like I owe you anything, especially an apology. Buy me a prime rib dinner at somewhere besides a state-line casino, and maybe I'll give you a "Well, maybe it WAS a long time", but that's all.

So, in honor of my lack of regular postings, I'll let you know about all of the other things I've managed to make regular fixtures in my life:

- I'm writing regularly. In fact, everyday for the past week or so I have made progress on a Courier-stained document of some kind, and it feels refreshing, liberating, and most importantly, fun.

- I'm exercising regularly. In other words, I'm bringing sexy back.

- I'm cutting down on my shows on a regular basis. I've managed to cut at least three shows from my normal rotation, with more to come, I think. I need to focus my time, and trying to keep up with EVERYTHING (except reality) on TV is a full-time job. And so, until I am actually employed by TV Guide, I'll pass on trying to fill my media cup.

- I'm playing video games more regularly, and not ad nauseum. Now, most of you would call this a negative, but my inner-child craves this sort of escapism, and I often get pangs of (financial) guilt whenever I see my Xbox or Nintendo Wii sitting idly by. I enjoy playing games. So sue me. So, the fact that I've managed to control the amount of time that I play them, and create this much satisfaction is a big deal for me.

- I'm watching American Idol regularly. Now, again, most of you would call this a negative, but I have my reason, and his name is Adam Lambert. I've been an ardent supporter of this awesome performer since high school, and to see him pretty much blow everyone away on Idol this year has been fun. He was amazing then, and he's amazing now.

That's it for the moment. Lastly, I want to recommend Star Trek (the new one), cause it's pretty great, fan of the shows or not (I'm no fan, trust me). I saw it last night, and despite the CONSTANT (literally) jabbering from the d-bag's behind me (Words to the Wise: just because the movie goes silent, does not mean your mouths have to open. Quiet moments in film are meant to be just that: quiet...), it was a wonderful movie-going experience. It's the very definition of a satisfying spectacle, a phrase Hollywood only seems to half understand (the latter half). A good, recent example of this? Wolverine. *blech* Loved the cameos from Amanda Foreman and Grunny (WHADDUP! To my Felicity crew, dawgz!), and I'm happy to say that Zach Quinto is MUCH better than the dreck they're writing for him on Heroes. A LOT better. And J.J., you're still my cinematic guru; keep it up.

cheers!