Hotbox

How cheap and lazy must Disney/ABC be if their means of sending rejection letters is by email? This was my second Disney submission, but my first with Nickelodeon and WB. I expected much of the same that I got from Disney last year (cold silence during the selection, and then no actual communication until WAY after the obvious time period for selection had passed) but I was pleased to see Warner Bros. and Nickelodeon sending actual letters (Nick's even had a theme, complete with slime and everything)... And yet Disney, a company known for its whimsy and magic, can't seem to even muster up a nice letter. Here's what they send instead:

December 22, 2009

Dear Applicant:

Thank you for applying to the 2010 Disney ABC Writing Program.

The response to the program has surpassed our expectations and the quantity of worthy submissions has far exceeded the limited number of available positions. As a result, we sincerely regret we are unable to accept you into the 2010 Program.

Please note that none of the materials you submitted will be returned and that the terms of the submission agreement remain in effect.

We appreciate your interest and hope that you will apply again. We wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Disney ABC Writing Program

Why do I care? Well, because like most writers who submit, we all long for the day when we actually become something in the eyes of these folks, and to be able to look back at our rejection letters longingly is a moment we all hope to have. Yeah, I could print it, but really? Just not the same.

And before you lament my rejection, I've known this has been coming since November, so it's no surprise. Yes, it certainly would have been great, but to pin all my hopes on something that's equivalent to getting selected into the Top 16 for American Idol would be foolish. So I don't. I just keep writing. A new spec, this time. No specifics. It should be fun, though...

UPDATE!
Just as I was posting this, I got a "Recall" email, whatever that means. I can't send it back, Disney. That's not how it works. Email is forever. Deal with it. 
Lame.


ANOTHER UPDATE! (Wow...)
They sent another rejection email. Yeah, and the top of it said to disregard the previous rejection email... Why, because it was completely accurate? Yep. Nothing's changed. Thanks for rejecting me twice. Love ya too...

FingerTag

The Ciné is back! For now....

Festivus.

I need to vent. I've had this nagging pit in my stomach lately, and I haven't quite nailed the cause. Since, as they say, "'Tis the season for sharing", I'll start by airing a list of grievances:

*DISCLAIMER* No personal attacks intended. Seriously, anyone who reads this blog is already someone I like.

1. Being an open-minded person does not automatically make you better than everyone else. Why? Because until your "open-mind" can literally accept everyone (seriously, everyone), you'll never be anything more than a snot-nosed hypocrite.

2. Yeah, I do sometimes forget to treat women with gentlemanly respect (the "ladies first" kind of respect), but it's not like I intend to be rude.

3. If I want to go to law school, I shouldn't have to feel guilty about it.

4. The problem with moving up the ranks in Hollywood to get your big break as a writer is that you miss out on the kinds of experience that will enrich your writing. L.A. might be a big place, but it's got a one-track mind. No wonder, it seems, so many scripts are about bringing down "the man"; all y'all are writing about the S.O.B. agents/producers you worked for. It's great if you want to be in development or become an agent, but I just don't know how beneficial it is for ones writing...

5. I hate bacon. I really do. So, stop looking at me weird, or asking me why, or whatever else you intend to do. Bacon is not manna from the gods, nor is it God's gift to cooking. It's pig meat, and it tastes and smells disgusting.

6. We all need to stop using the word hate. Except with bacon.

7. While I adore The Soup, I can't help but think it's somehow complicit in the continuing destruction of television.

8. Coming out as a lesbian does not make you suddenly relevant after years of being a Lifetime movie star.

9. Someone seriously should be shot for wasting Elizabeth Mitchell and Alan Arkin's talent with The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.

10. Don't take advantage of me. No matter how well you know me, don't assume I'm okay with being walked on. Yes, I am traditionally a doormat and a pushover, but that doesn't mean I don't have an opinion about it. Be mindful of how you treat these sorts of people.

11. Big Love can suck it.

12. Just because your favorite indie band had a song on a commercial, doesn't mean they've sold out. Rockers got bills to pay too...

13. My tips for current television shows:
FlashForward - Cut the existential nonsense, and let's get on to the fun stuff.
Glee - Sectionals better mean the end of FauxBabyGate.
The Office - Fire them all.
Heroes - Kill them all.
V - Why'd you have to leave us so soon?
House - Really?! You fired Cameron?!
Modern Family - You are perfect.

14. It's okay to dream; just don't expect them to come true tomorrow.

15. Don't be a d*ck. If I write you something, write me back, and if I piss you off, tell me. There's nothing worse than assuming the worst and being completely wrong about it.

16. Never let friendship get in the way of filmmaking, and vice versa.

17. Love the skin your in.

18. This list is turning into less of a list of grievances, and more of a list of odds and ends.

19. What's the deal with airplane food!?

20. That wasn't funny.

21. I have screenplay ADD, and I've got a portfolio of half finished ideas to prove it.

22. If ScriptShadow is such a threat, why hasn't it been shut down? If it's doing serious damage to scripts in development, or even scripts looking for a deal, then it needs to be shut down. Until that happens, I'll gladly take what Carson gives. Why? Cuz I'm a naive amateur.
*UPDATE!* I found this great article by Craig Mazin at Artful Writer where he lays things out reasonably. I think for the time being, I'll let this thing play out, and not participate in ScriptShadow until things get worked out.

23. Having to pay for Xbox Live is ridiculous enough, but having to pay for clothes for your Avatar? Now that's just plain dumb.

24. I wish my cousins had taken our fish tank.

25. Max Hall is a douchebag.

26. Go Chargers!

27. The end.

Lesbian Yellow Sour Fruit

Here's a pick me up:

Fire and Nice

If you're wondering why I don't post much anymore, it's probably because I'm convinced that no one reads this thing anymore. It's the same reason why I just don't like Facebook much either, since everyone bailed as soon as their moms joined. Part of the fun of a blog is response and reaction to the things I write or say, and since I don't get much, it's hard to care.

This is not a chastisement. I'm pretty sure I don't get comments because there's no one to comment, not because my few readers are all android automatons with no opinions; I'm pretty sure that's already been decided...

But for the three of you still looking at this blog, here's some tiny bits of info. And for those of you who "just don't have the time" or "hate to type in my URL because I just don't want to add another bookmark to my bookmarks menu", please remember this is the year 2009, and that Google Reader exists to eliminate any and all unneccessary clicking and typing. (And yes, that was a chastisement).

UPDATE: It has occurred to be that Google Reader's inability to allow you to make comments whilst reading from their website, or from your iGoogle page could be another factor... If so, then you are forgiven. Kinda...

- I've been sick for the past two weeks with various ailments. First it was a cold/flu thing that was mild, but annoying. Then, this lovely lump decided to make a cameo on the back of my neck and pester me with irritable to the touch pain and an ever increasing sense of "oh crap! Everyone is looking at the lump on my neck!" I did the research, and it seems to be a lymph node, loaded with toxins. Correct me if I'm wrong, anyone with medical knowledge better than Google...

- Saw Where The Wild Things Are two weeks ago, and loved it. I've defended it adamantly from the many naysayers who proclaim it is too scary or too "out there" for children. Yeah, it's not an easy film, but neither is Bambi, or The Dark Crystal, or Babe: Pig in the City, or The Black Stallion, but all of those films are memorable childhood favorites, and I can't wait to share them with my children. We underestimate our children's ability to "get it", and while it is up to every parent to know what media their child is watching, I do think those who wrote the film off from frame one need to re-evaluate. I could go on, but I won't. Apparently, "it's just a stupid movie" (direct quote. To me. From someone I don't know. On Facebook. See why I hate it?)

- Also saw The Box. Another challenging film, but not super fantastic. It's got a Donnie Darko sensibility, but without a lot of the heart. The mystery of the film is almost imperceptible at first glance (or possibly the third or fourth), but like Darko, I think there's something there. The overall arc is easy enough to follow, so no complaints there: it's just the broader moments (and the most bizarre) that still haven't quite been cracked. Most people will hate it, so don't take this as a "you'll love it" kind of recommend; it asks a lot of its audience (a LOT), and it gives very little back in return, so keep that in mind. If you're familiar with Richard Kelly, you can stomach it. If not, skip it. Or see it on TNT.

- I could also talk about Paranormal Activity, but what else can I say? It's freaky. It makes you question your own sanity as you walk down the dark hall to your bedroom, and especially as you fall asleep. I would have loved for the film to stick to its "fly on the wall" camera for most of it, but I suppose that film wouldn't have made $90 million at the box office... And, it could have been boring...

- I think I'm gonna get married in 2010. I'm accepting any applications starting next Thursday.

- I've been working the SDSU football games again. This year, I hate it even more. It pays well, so I stick to it, but I just can't abide that lifestyle. TV Sport production is a lot of work for very little reward, and so I just can't care that much. I do enjoy sitting in the truck during games, but so far, I haven't done that this year. I dunno. It gets a big fat LAME-O from this guy...

- I don't hate movies anymore. How's that for change?

- I say this all the time, but I'm trying to do better at this writing thing. And when I say that, I mean actually having a writing plan and a schedule. It's not easy. I've never been one for schedules, so its a stretch to believe that I'll be able to follow one. But, I need to. It hasn't quite hit me yet, but I'm sure I'll realize just how important having a lot of scripts written is very soon.

- For those who didn't know, I wrote a 30 Rock spec this last year that managed to be somewhat successful at the WB Writer's Workshop competition/application (what do you call it?). They were pleased to inform me that my script was in the top 5% out of about 1400 scripts, which is pretty decent. It wasn't good enough for their finals, but when has that ever mattered, right?

- I have a headache right now. How's that for up-to-the-minute!? It's gettin' like Twitter up in here!

- Speaking of Twitter, I'm beginning to prefer it as my means of social networking. I'm @bacoby13, in case you care.

- Google Wave, when used properly, is every bit as awesome as it's been hyped up to be. A must use with friends, colleagues and writing partners. Thanks to Jessica Lindsey Kendrick for the invite, courtesy of her husband, Arthur.

- I'm applying to grad schools. I think. I'm almost convinced of this. I need to be more convinced of this, as most of the deadlines are December 1st. And no, it's not law school. If you can talk me down from this, go ahead. I'm very much on the fence.

Later, gator-haters.

Coal Digger

For anyone that cares, the two little doodles below this are just me trying to expand my creative outlets. They're not meant to be taken seriously, nor are they meant to be awesome in any way. Enjoy them if you must, but I'll post some more if you want.

My friend Spencer has started blogging about web comics and such, and I just started thinking about drawing more. I decided to try my hand at doing pen drawings (not my cup of tea), hence the sketchiness of it all, and the overall piss-poor quality. If I do more (past the two unfinished ones already drawn), they'll be pencil, and then inked for better quality. I just can't sacrifice something good simply because I'm putting restrictions on myself (Dogme 95, I hope you're listening)...

So yeah. That's the story.

Seacrest, out.

Baby Fish Mouth

At the behest of my amis de cinéma, Eric and Spencer, I'm going to do a quick overview of my favorite fall TV picks and what not. They limited theirs to quick reviews, and so I'll try and do the very same:

NEW SHOWS -

Modern Family - This is one of only two new shows I look forward to. The pilot had me almost on the floor laughing, and each episode since has been just as hilarious. And it has heart, which is crucial to a good, solid comedy.

Community - It's got Joel McHale, and it's wonderfully absurd. It too has heart, but it's a tad bit more cynical in its delivery, but I laugh consistently.

Glee - The music is fab-u-lous. The other bits? Not so much. Still, its appointment television (it's the other show I look forward to). I'm not a fan of the show's central conflicts, but it doesn't hurt the show too much.

The Good Wife - This show makes me want to be a lawyer. Not only are the cases compelling, but the central idea (disgraced politician's wife restarts her life as a junior associate in a law firm after her husband is sent to jail) drives the show to new heights. A must see.

FlashForward - I don't know about this one. I'm intrigued, for sure, but I don't ache for this show like I did for LOST in its first season. I think its still figuring itself out. My suggestion? Get David Goyer away from as many scripts as possible... And lets focus on less characters, please...

Cougar Town - I've only seen the pilot, and frankly, I was super creeped out. It got a full season pick-up so it must be doing well. I'll check it out once the back nine kick in. Here's hoping they remedy the creepy.

Cleveland Show - HATED the pilot. Haven't seen it since.

Eastwick - Desperate Housewives with magic. But boring magic. The guy playing the devil is good, but the women are dry stereotypes. Nothing exciting here.

RETURNING SHOWS -

Dollhouse - I'm officially bored with this show. After the supposedly game-changing "Epitaph One" episode, I expected a resurgence of energy in this show, but I see none of that. All we've gotten so far is Echo getting married, and nursing a baby. Uncool, Whedon... Uncool.

Grey's Anatomy - After an awkward season last year (but a pretty phenomenal finale), this show feels like it did in its second season. I hope it continues.

House - I like this show. It makes for a nice Monday eve.

Heroes - I broke up with this show after the abysmal season premiere. I did watch Bryan Fuller's recent (and well done) episode, so my interest is piqued as to where it's heading (quite the cliffhanger), but his departure still has me unsure.

The Office - This show is uneven for me. Season 2 is still where this show peaked. The Jim and Pam wedding was wonderful. I still enjoy it.

Parks and Recreation - I'm actually liking this more and more each week. I think they're hoping for a bit of The Office mixed with 30 Rock, as the show has become significantly more absurd. After the underwhelming first season, this is nice to see.

Fringe - I love this show. The mythology is fun, and its delightfully macabre. Yeah, it's not brilliant television, but I'm entertained, and I'm rarely bored.

Big Bang/HIMYM - Still great. Big Bang seems to get funnier each week.

The Wind in My Eye

LOST has a new ARG (Alternate Reality Game, for the uninitiated), and it's a weird one...

Each week or so, a new piece of art is revealed online, and available to buy, but the location of the website (its web address) is doled out through real-world clues and locations. It's kinda neat. Here are two of the very best (and subsequently very sold out) pieces of art:



You can find out more here:

Damon, Carlton and A Polar Bear

Idiot Control Now

I'm starting to not like watching movies.

Shocker, right? Here I am, a self-proclaimed film buff/lover/sycophant and I've suddenly lost my passion. It's sad, I know. About as sad as a clown losing his funny, or a lumberjack developing a chainsaw allergy.

I scroll my Netflix queues, and I find nothing that interests me. I know of three or four movies I'd like to see in theatres, but I'm too cheap to buy a ticket.

Movies have become disappointments. The critical darlings end up being too boring, obscure or inaccessible, and ultimately bring me down. The blockbusters get me going, but they're like a sugar rush: all energy, no nutrition. Occasionally (read: Rarely) I find a happy medium-- The Dark Knight, for instance, a film that floored me once and still floors me today. I continue to admire its pacing, its bravado, its audacity, and its depth. Rarely does something that pulpy become something that profound.

But most films are disappointments. Not in the "Oh, that wasn't what I expected" sort of way, but more in the "Oh, it's over, so now what" kind of way... I sense a deeper issue at hand, but let's not delve into that right now. Most of the time, I sense the futility of filmmaking when I watch a film. I see it as the short-lived box office success it will be, the millions of dollars on DVD it'll make, and the countless ads on TNT when it airs. Soon, any film I want to see will be reduced to something as common as reruns of Friends or Sex and the City. Ten years from now it'll be Bargain Bin fodder at Walmart and Blockbuster. So, why care? Why make the effort anymore?

I actually don't have an answer to that. You could flog reason after reason why movies are awesome my way, but believe me, I'm aware of them, so save your fingers the typing time and write something else. I'm just kinda pissed off. I'm tired of feeling this way about film. I'm tired of trying to find something that will enrich me AND entertain me, but that seems to be so impossible to find. Old movies, new movies, what have you. I feel like I've exhausted what's "Good" and all that's left is "Just Okay" or "Not a Chance". Or winners of the Palme d'Or...

The only solace I find is in television, where the game changes weekly, and the thrills are seemingly never ending. New shows every fall and returning shows refreshed with re-invigorated storylines and characters; a fresh start on familiar ground. It's exciting, and it's alive. I want to feel this for film again. I want to feel like cinema is this growing entity that is constantly getting better, as opposed to constantly proving me right. I don't feel like that. All I see is retread after retread, and all I feel is mixed emotions and loads of disappointment.

All in all, it sucks.

Sting, Debbie Reynolds and God...

This picture actually occured on my brother's Facebook Friends Suggestions page... Amazing...

Casen Face

- I'm writing this post from my email. I've been curious about this little feature for some time now, so here it is. I don't know about formatting, so this may look funky.

- My keyboard's been funky too. It was attacked by my nephew, and the spacebar got cracked (yo!). It now has a nice, hairline boo-boo going down the middle. It still works, but it makes a weird noise when I hit it. Also, and far more unexplainable, is my "j" key has become super duper sensitive. I touch it, barely, like this -- jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj -- and it just goes crazyjjjjjjjjjj. I noticed this yesterday when I was trying to type an email, and I kept typing superfluous j's everywhere... It confused me, and I jjjjjjjjjjjjj -- see! I just rested for like two seconds, on the the keys with the little nubbins on them, and it typed crazy j's! WHA!?!? Annoying.

- I've been playing more and more video games lately. Pathetic. I often convince myself that whenever I become addicted to anything, that Helen Mirren is also addicted to it. I can't help but think that she's not at all above those kind of things. Meryl Streep too. Is that weird?

- My over-a-year-in-the-works short film finally showed up in Provo this last week. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped. What did I learn? I'm not a sound mixer. That's all.

- Project Runway and Flipping Out are back on TV. Yeah, judge me all you want, but I can't resist those shows. They're among the three reality shows I watch (and I don't count anything on Food Network as reality), so don't get all feisty. Flipping Out is like a bad yet watchable sitcom, and Project Runway is like watching art students forced to make really cool art in 24 hours. Mad Men is also back. So all in all, pretty perfect, TV-wise.

- I had Kneaders in Utah, and it made me miss Provo food... Which trumps San Diego food, by the way. By far. It's probably the second thing I miss about Provo, the first thing being my friends and family. Sandwiches... *Drool*...

- This post is disappointing. I'm disappointed in it. My apologies.

Purity of Essence...

I think it's normal for film folk to question on a daily basis their career choices. We have picked something so chock full of uncertainty and without the promise of ANY career to speak of, so it's only natural, right?

Right now, at this moment in time, I hate film making. Right now, there is nothing more frustrating and maddening than the circus of inconsistency and mayhem that is film making. And, I think I hate it.

Details aren't important. They'd only do a disservice, actually. Suffice it to say, my choice of pursuing screenwriting must be kismet or written in the stars or whatever because I don't think I could have handled whoring myself out as a Set P.A., or making some bad Sundance hopeful thinking I'd hit it big with a seven-figure distribution deal with Fox Searchlight. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be happy believing my career as a director was meant to be, and "It'll happen!" being my mantra each and every time I wake up unemployed, poor and in the habit of dodging my landlord.

Anyway, I'm pissed. I'm tired. I'm being completely irrational. Who cares? Sure, screenwriting isn't any better, but at least I like it. At least I enjoy doing it, as opposed to the fallacy that is film making. Film making is like every bad group project you ever worked on in high school, where everyone acts all into it, but they really couldn't give a crap.

Or maybe that's not entirely true. My point is, I'm glad I know where I stand in the world of cinema. I'm glad I've figured this out now, and not later. Now, I can focus. I can breathe. But not yet. Not till after the 25th. Until then I hate film making, and all of its cousins and brothers and nephews. So until then, humor me, and don't write encouraging comments below...

Yours forever,
Habdash

A Look Into My Fridays...

A glimpse at things to come:

Single City...

I just couldn't take much more of that stretchy nonsense. It made my blog look gnarly, and I hate gnarly.

So, here's the vastly improved HadDash, complete with über-cool lowercase post titles, a little wider width, and a header that doesn't look like the picture ate the right portion of the border (yeah, you may have not noticed, but it was like nails on a chalkboard for me...)

I'd wager that the majority of you folks don't care, won't notice, or won't come back. That's fine. Whatever. Blogs are simply a means for vain people like myself to post things they think others will find fascinating. Whether or not people read them isn't much of a concern.

Yeah, not really...

It's not like I can magically produce twins and post adorable pictures of them... Or move to London, develop a totally legit swearing habit AND blog about raptors...

Or can I?

I'm pretty sure this was funnier in my head...

He Tinks He's A Whar-wulf...

Here's two bits of photographic awesome:

The Ocean Walker

Guess what?

I'm the guest writer for today (Friday) over at Daily Pre-Script-ion, a blog started by a few of my amigos, Spencer and Eric.








The blog is just like it says: two guys writing one page scripts everyday for a year, and they invited me to be their first guest writer. I feel honored. And touched. But mostly honored.

So, thank you Eric, for stroking my ego all the way up there in the San Fernando Valley... And thank you, Spencer, for not saying no when Eric asked me, because I know how much you despise me...........

I love you guys.

Enjoy.

Daily pre-Script-ion - Day Fourteen

P.S. - I'm towards the bottom of the page, but please read the others as well.

P.P.S. - You'll also notice that my script is longer than a page. That's because I broke the rules. But, that's what I am. A rule breaker. A rogue. Story of my life, right?

It's New To You...

We're no longer a fixed width blog here at the HabDash, so give me your thoughts on this new stretchy redesign...

gracias...

pm/pm...

For the past little bit, the convenience store chain, am/pm has had the slogan, "Too Much Good Stuff". Recently, I saw an ad of theirs that stated quite clearly that "You Can Never Have Too Much Good Stuff."

So...

- If am/pm is Too Much Good Stuff,
- And their current ads dictate that You can never have too much good stuff,
- Then doesn't that logically indicate that You can never have am/pm?

Ergo...
am/pm,
You've just been proof'd...

The Gold Violin

Thank you Dyna Moe. And AMC...

Mad Men Yourself

Whinging About

I failed to mention in my last post another good thing about this trip: seeing family. They've been great hosts, and good company, and it's always great to see them, even if I was constantly longing for a good spit-up in order to ease my nausea.

Old Gregg

I'm in Utah right now, or the Motherland as it might as well be known, and I'm not in the best of spirits. Since Wednesday, I've had a mild flu-like symptom bug of some kind, rendering me pretty useless. Naturally, I'm convinced it's that pig disease that's been so much a part of the pop culture zeitgeist these past couple of months, but I've googled the symptoms, and I should be fine.

I don't think I would mind too much if our trip didn't involve so much driving. So far, we've driven a least one hour every day since Wednesday, and that's frankly too much for this invalid. Couple that with two days in the (hot) sun, one at a very reflective lake (The Bear! Lake), and what you get is a very ruddy, flu-filled face that hurts when I smile. Or wince. Or raise my eyebrows suspiciously...

The best part, however, is that my little neph-ew, Craisin (né Casen) is with us, which has made my flu seem pretty inconsequential. The kid smiles all the time, even when he's half-asleep, and it just melts my feverish heart.

We also caught the newest Potter flick, which was great, but it was unfortunately showing at the worst movie theatre I've ever been to (thanks a million, Cache Valley!). If the cinder block walls (!) weren't enough, then how about cramped stadium seating? Or the shoddy sound system (someone needs a lesson in acoustics)? Or the woman sitting behind us who had obviously read the book, and insisted on telling her friend exactly what it all meant. And when I say "it all", I mean every plot point. To be fair, that last one technically doesn't count against the actual theatre, but still, it made it hard to enjoy the film, really, which is a strike in my book.

So, a summation:
Swine flu?
Driving
The Bear!
Babies
Harry Potter and the Half-Finished Movie Theatre
and finally, Burning Man-Face.

Overall? No fair, but it's been okay.

Jihaddy...

You wanna? Yes? Yes?! Check it...











White Men...

Everybody Betray Me.

My Xbox 360 died yesterday. The dreaded E74 error, in case you're taking notes. Microsoft has kindly agreed to fix it for free, so the poor Box is now on its way to Texas for a look-see. As for myself, and my constituents, we've resorted to mourning its temporary vacation. In light of it all, I will say that the silver lining is the hope that we will take advantage of its time away to rid ourselves of its addictive grasp. Maybe, perhaps, I'll actually get something done.

Oh, Hi Mark!

My latest running mix, featuring thirty-three minutes of continuous fitness favorites:

- Chaiyya Chaiyya Bollywood Joint* - Sukhwinder Singh and Sapna Awasthi, featuring Punjabi MC

- Such Great Heights - The Postal Service

- Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings

- Let's Go To The Mall - Robin Sparkles

- FutureSex/LoveSound - Justin Timberlake

- Don't Say Nuthin' - The Roots

- Apocalypse Please - Muse

- New Skin - Incubus

*Video from the Bollywood film Dil Se. My version of the song is from Spike Lee's Inside Man. Similar, but not the same, but I LOVE that video, so, yeah...

You're Tearing Me Apart, Lisa!

Things I learned/remembered while cleaning out my Gmail inbox:

- I once applied for a job as an assistant editor to a man (Ben Unguren) who would later become a professor at BYU, and for whom I would be his very first TA. Weird, eh?

- I received an ORCA grant that I never took, nor actually ever wanted, for a documentary project about Islam in Paris. Our funds needed never matched the grant's award amount.

- I used to write copious emails to a friend (hi Nephi) back and forth, wherein we would review the latest movies we'd seen. I enjoyed them thoroughly.

- I got cleared to register for TMA 291 (Film History) before I was ever in the film program.

- I used to sing in the French Choir. It was actually kinda fun.

- I used to write to a girl from France on a pretty regular basis. And no, it's not what you think.

- I actually used to keep in contact with mission friends.

- My Facebook account started on March 4th of 2005. Back then, it was called thefacebook.com. Old Skool.

- I remembered how much I hated TMA 112.

- I almost applied for school at CUNY in New York.

I'm still not finished, so I'm sure there's more to learn and reminisce about. I'm just amazed that all of this was recalled simply through emails I'd received.

Picture Book...

My little brother likes to collect odd, yet unbelievably hilarious pictures and GIF animations. Here are a few for you to enjoy:

Heeeeey....

I'll post more, if you so desire...

Beep Beep, Beep Beep, Yeah!

I've been doing a lot of thinking; a bit more than normal, but not quite enough for it to get me anywhere, but amongst my thoughts I've come to this odd, yet profound conclusion about my life: With all the hoopla often associated with H-Wood and it's glamtastic lifestyle, I've decided that, in spite of my current detest for mediocrity, I really just want to be successful. I really only want to provide, not prosper. I want to tell a story or two, get some foldin' money, and be on my way. Find a niche, give it a whirl, then slowly drift away into old age.

I'll cop to being enamored with fame at one point in my life, wondering at what age I'll win my Oscar, and whether or not I'll have kids by then. I often imagined myself back in France, showcasing my film in Cannes, while, merely three days later, seeing posters for my film adorning every bus stop sur les Champs-Elysées. But, as I think about all of that now, the only word I think of to describe all of that is nice. It would really be nice. That's about all. Pretty vanilla, right? The thing is, I've managed to find fulfillment and joy in things other than fame (since I have yet to experience it), so I know my life can be complete without it. So, why seek it? Why worry about it? I certainly want to get where I need to go, but why choose the path least followed, when the well-worn one is just as wonderful. Robert Frost certainly meant well with his poetry, but I feel like I'm already taking the road less traveled, so why run through the weeds just to find something that may never be there? There are just too many metaphors to wade through before I manage to find myself content with something that's as fickle as a snowstorm in the Sahara. Why chase something that will undoubtedly let you down at some point?

Case in point: Johnny Carson lived 30 years or so in the television spotlight, arguably the best host late night television has or ever will see, but the moment it was done, poof, he was gone. He knew it all meant nothing. He didn't live the rest of his days Norma Desmond style, hoping Leno or Letterman would ask him back for his legendary close-up; he just disappeared. He was done, and part of me wonders if deep down, he'd been begging for it for a long, long time. I'm sure he was proud of what he did, and loved every minute of it, but he knew what mattered.... Can I just say it? Wonderful. It just sounds so wonderful.

But, I don't want to be Carson. I really don't. I just want to be successful. I don't think it's too much to ask for, right? I'm convinced I'll find it. Yeah, you can say that I'm only shooting for the moon instead of the stars, but I just have this one thing to say to you: It's still outer space, right?

Je t'aimais, je t'aime et je t'aimerai...

This morning I woke up, and wished I was still here:

Paris

Rouen

Auxerre

Limoges

Mes pôtes de Paris à St. Merri.

This year marks five years since I returned, and seven since I left, and not a day goes by that I don't wish I was back. Those were the most illuminating, exhilarating, captivating, frustrating, pontificating and satisfying 18 months (yes, only about 18 months in country) of my sad existence; oh how I wish I could do it again...

Here's to the past!

à plus...

Kidney Now!

Nobody...

• Nobody eats at the Olive Garden anymore
  
• Nobody finds Jonah Hill funny
• Nobody cares about plot holes in the new Star Trek
• Nobody wants to see Meg Ryan's new face
• Nobody watches Lost for the characters
• Nobody reads Playboy for the articles
• Nobody wants to find meaning in everything
• Nobody likes religion
• Nobody eats carbs
• Nobody finds Dan Brown relevant
• Nobody cares about Jer3miah
• Nobody hates Arrested Development
• Nobody wants to see your fauxhawk
• Nobody eats a hearty breakfast
• Nobody sleeps in late
• Nobody uses the new Facebook
• Nobody pays full price at Disneyland
• Nobody hits babies
  
• Nobody can resist the Mango
• Nobody plays with their Nintendo Wii
• Nobody parties hard and never regrets it
• Nobody always loves their tattoos
• Nobody gives of themselves
• Nobody hearts the Padres
• Nobody really liked Danny Gokey
• Nobody is ever worth losing
• Nobody should never have friends
• Nobody really hates The Beatles
• Nobody does it like Sara Lee
• Nobody favors Dolby Digital to DTS
• Nobody thinks Chris Nolan is a hack
• Nobody welcomes you to the Polynesian Culture Center
• Nobody likes their PC
• Nobody saw Serenity
• Nobody should ignore Joss Whedon
• Nobody isn't afraid
  
• Nobody should live without a broken heart
• Nobody shoots on film
• Nobody likes cinnamon gum
• Nobody should wear THAT much perfume
• Nobody has ever seen an elephant fly
• Nobody likes morning radio shows
• Nobody finds Kathie Lee Gifford funny
• Nobody will pay extra for your supplements, silly
• Nobody doesn't like a good massage
• Nobody reads this blog
  

Jacky Jormp-Jomp

Question: Why do I always assume the worst? I have some kind of disease, I think, which makes me completely incapable of assuming anything good about anybody. I won't get into specifics, but I've recently done this several times to several different folks, and it's just rude and insensitive, but I really can't help it. My imagination feeds off of manufactured drama, and so I suppose it's only natural for me to manufacture drama in my own life. I remember as a child pretending my life was a sitcom, or a cheesy Disney movie (à la Honey I Shrunk The Kids, or The Big Green), in an effort to spice things up. I actually remember creating moments of dramatic intensity in my head from mundane situations, like this one, for example:

I'd leave a newly purchased toy in the car whilst running errands with my mom. In my head, the camera would watch as my mother and I would leave the car, and as we'd leave, it'd pan down to the toy, in a sort of "Uh oh! He shouldn't have left that..." moment.

So, that was me, directing my life's smaller moments into swells of dramatic flair that no one else would (or should) ever find interesting. And, now, as a fully formed adult with a college degree and years of life lessons merit badges attached to his sleeve, I still do it, except to a degree that borders on psychotic. I don't think it's because I expect the worst out of those I love, but instead that I fear the worst. I've grown accustomed to seeing so many big dramatic moments, plot twists, and character reversals that I've managed to put those things into my own life, especially where they don't exist.

BUT, the difference here is that these plot developments don't make my life any more interesting; they make them more complicated. If these assumptions were true, then that would certainly make for a fast-paced thrill ride, but they're not. Often my assumptions result in mundane realizations, and gross misunderstandings. It's embarrassing how often I've had to mentally put my foot in my mouth.

I guess I'm grateful for my shier nature, as it doesn't allow me the tenacity to confront these assumptions head on, and make a fool of myself. Still, my head gets dizzy with my wild imagination, and that's enough to make me feel the fool for assuming so much.

This is the part of the post where I say that I should look to a brighter future, but I don't. My future isn't bright. As long as I continue to saturate my thoughts with story, I'll always look for ways to create drama in my own life. Oh well, right?

A Box-Office Songsation...

I am debating whether or not to apologize for my absence. I think I've decided not to, since it's not like I owe you anything, especially an apology. Buy me a prime rib dinner at somewhere besides a state-line casino, and maybe I'll give you a "Well, maybe it WAS a long time", but that's all.

So, in honor of my lack of regular postings, I'll let you know about all of the other things I've managed to make regular fixtures in my life:

- I'm writing regularly. In fact, everyday for the past week or so I have made progress on a Courier-stained document of some kind, and it feels refreshing, liberating, and most importantly, fun.

- I'm exercising regularly. In other words, I'm bringing sexy back.

- I'm cutting down on my shows on a regular basis. I've managed to cut at least three shows from my normal rotation, with more to come, I think. I need to focus my time, and trying to keep up with EVERYTHING (except reality) on TV is a full-time job. And so, until I am actually employed by TV Guide, I'll pass on trying to fill my media cup.

- I'm playing video games more regularly, and not ad nauseum. Now, most of you would call this a negative, but my inner-child craves this sort of escapism, and I often get pangs of (financial) guilt whenever I see my Xbox or Nintendo Wii sitting idly by. I enjoy playing games. So sue me. So, the fact that I've managed to control the amount of time that I play them, and create this much satisfaction is a big deal for me.

- I'm watching American Idol regularly. Now, again, most of you would call this a negative, but I have my reason, and his name is Adam Lambert. I've been an ardent supporter of this awesome performer since high school, and to see him pretty much blow everyone away on Idol this year has been fun. He was amazing then, and he's amazing now.

That's it for the moment. Lastly, I want to recommend Star Trek (the new one), cause it's pretty great, fan of the shows or not (I'm no fan, trust me). I saw it last night, and despite the CONSTANT (literally) jabbering from the d-bag's behind me (Words to the Wise: just because the movie goes silent, does not mean your mouths have to open. Quiet moments in film are meant to be just that: quiet...), it was a wonderful movie-going experience. It's the very definition of a satisfying spectacle, a phrase Hollywood only seems to half understand (the latter half). A good, recent example of this? Wolverine. *blech* Loved the cameos from Amanda Foreman and Grunny (WHADDUP! To my Felicity crew, dawgz!), and I'm happy to say that Zach Quinto is MUCH better than the dreck they're writing for him on Heroes. A LOT better. And J.J., you're still my cinematic guru; keep it up.

cheers!

The Pelican Brief

You asked. I give:

Alright, so for those of you who watch Chuck (and if you don't, why not? It's a relatively harmless good time), you probably know about Captain Awesome.

Captain Awesome (seen to your left, my right) is the oft shirtless beefcake seen traipsing around the apartment of Chuck and his sister, Ellie (also pictured). Awesome (as he's often called by Chuck) is Ellie's doctor fiancé, and probably one of the nicest guys in the world. He is the perfect gentleman to Ellie, and a sweet "bro" to Chuck's nerdtastic antics and even to his friends. He's loving, caring, and ripped; he's like Edward, but without the sparkles and the blood sucking (and the creepy night-stalking). He's like the epitome of the perfect guy, a great foil for both of the Bartowski siblings who are full of insecurities.

So, how does this all relate to BYU? Well, within the walls of the world's largest (and driest) Bubble, you'll find a whole mess of Captain Awesomes. Yeah, sure, there's a good number of Chuck's, or even Morgan's (Chuck's hopeless best friend), but the vast majority seem to fall into the Awesome category...

Why? Well, if it's not apparent already to most people, BYU has a lot of pretty faces. A lot. Looks are very important to both guys and girls, and it shows. When the metrosexual movement threatened to destroy the very fabric of society, the homies at the BYU were all over it. Finally! They cried! They could dress fab-u-lous, and still get girls! There's a lot of superficiality involved in it, but this quest for sex appeal is so common there because, in the game of coupling, looks are paramount.

But, you ask, not everyone is as good looking as Captain Awesome... Yes, but you've seemed to have forgotten the other half of what makes Captain Awesome so awesome: his genteel nature. Now, you'd be hard-pressed to argue that BYU is not full of the nicest people on the planet... A few examples: If you're running into a building, 9 times out of 10, the door will be held open for you... If you lose something on campus, you'll probably get it back... If you slip on some ice, you'll probably get helped... They're just like that. The majority of the guys at the school served missions, faithfully giving up themselves for two years, and getting lost in the service of others, so that's certainly a factor. They've served in leadership positions, walked through scary neighborhoods, faced daily persecution, and they all (myself included) came out the other side, smiling, and grateful for those two years. So, in essence, the majority of the males at Brigham Young University are, in some respects, Captain Awesomes in their own right.

But, you ask again (what's with the buts? Are you never satisfied?), what does this all mean? Well, having come out of the BYU experience unmarried, single and yearning, I feel like I had to take stock and think "What did I do wrong?"*

This is when I began to realize that during my time there, I was in CONSTANT competition with the Captain Awesomes. I can't call myself awesome. I just can't. I know I'm not drop-dead handsome, and I'm okay with that. I know I don't dress fashionably, or wear polo shirts, and I'm definitely okay with that. I know my body is tubbier than it should be (not okay with that), but I'm willing to accept it for now. Yeah, I served a mission, and I learned a ton, but I still feel spiritually weak. I consider myself a nice guy, but I tend to become an intense misanthrope when placed in small spaces with big crowds, or at Smith's on a Monday or Saturday night. I feel flawed. And I project that. A lot. I'm aware of this.

So, here's my theory:

People like me will always be overlooked, because of the Awesomes of the world. And, in an environment like BYU, I didn't stand a chance, since the majority of the student population falls into the Awesome category in some respect, whereas I just don't have what it takes.

I know my theory is flawed (its a theory after all), and like all theorists, I must recognize these flaws. Here they are:

Most people feel like me. Most people feel inadequate, and no matter how strong spiritually, or attractive physically, most human beings feel flawed (as they should, or else we'd all be screwed). Also, me blaming my singles status on factors out of my control is lazy, and stupid. I'm well aware that I could have dated anyone that I wanted to, but the fact is, I didn't. I didn't date hardly at all. My own fault. And also, who am I to classify myself as throughly un-Awesome? I don't think I'm allowed to say this, but for all intents and purposes, I'm not awesome. Okay? So, just roll with it. If you disagree, then comment below. If you're also single, and ready to mingle, you know my number...

But, what I can say is that the problem with BYU for people with low self-image is that they will most certainly not feel welcome. Yeah, people will love them, and they'll make friends, but will they date? Will they get married? Possibly, but not certainly. Being surrounded by Awesomes all day long can really make a person nervous, thrusting their self-esteem even further down the toilet. It's never easy to feel bad about who you are, but when there's a constant reminder that you aren't what you want to be, or what others wish you to be, it's devastating. I don't think I ever felt this bad, but I came close, especially during the lonely times.

But, I think it's why I abhorred the dating scene in Provo, because I just felt like I would never get a shot. Why pick me, when you can have Pecsnabs Smith? Or Tim McGelhair? It's all a very vicious, unending cycle of self-loathing and misanthropic detest. It's pretty lame.

But, lest you believe I'm bitter, or upset or what have you, I'm not. I actually never saw myself as being married while in school. I just couldn't imagine it. Would I have done it, had the opportunity arisen? Of course. I'm no fool.

So, there you have it. My soul, on a platter of speculation and NBC television programs. Don't pity me, because I don't need it. What I need is a girl, and I'm pretty sure I don't want her pity.

Is that too much to ask!?!?!?

More Useful I'd Be...

I was reminded today how much I love all of these.

I especially recommend:

This one...*

And this one...*

And then the "sequel" of sorts to the last one...*

This one makes me cry...

This one makes me laugh...

This is the one that started it all...*

But, I'd recommend them all. I really would.

cheers!

*Big ups to my peeps:
Carrie "The Bear" Shakes It,
Hayley "Draw Me Wearing This" Smith,
and Ben "Jammin'" Ungz.
Carrie is the brainchild behind Primary South London, formerly known as Earl; Hayley gave us Karolee: A Saga in Two Parts; and Big Ungz gave us Leroy, as well as a few others... Mad props, y'all...*

**Oh, and let's not forget Dean "If Eric Idle and Gene Wilder Sired A Canadian Socialist With A Penchant For Brilliance" Duncan, because this is his (and Ben Unguren's) baby... Nice...**

Pair A Ducks...

Lost makes my head hurt. Here's why:

Wouldn't it be weird to come to the realization that your central purpose in life is not to make a better future, but to actually make for a better present... That's kind of profound, when you think about it.

Also, wouldn't it be weird if you came to the realization that your future self (which is actually your past self) will be greatly influenced by your present self?

And, wouldn't it be wacky if you realized that no matter what you chose, even if you knowingly and directly defied what you believed to be the proper outcome, that no matter how defiant you try to be against it, fate will ALWAYS make things happen as they should?

And finally, isn't it crazy that in this case (unlike other bits of pop lit), no prophesy or omens are needed to declare to these people that "You Have A Destiny" - Of course they do: because it's already happened (but has it? Not to them, of course, but to their forebearers... Wha!?)

Cycles, cycles, cycles, cycles.... This show is all about cycles. How interesting that one of the first image's of the show's Second Season was a Mama Cass Elliot record spinning (in a constant, predetermined cycle), and the opening strains of "Make Your Own Kind of Music", the ultimate song about defying preset norms (or destiny, if you will).... Take a look-see (by the way, for all non-Losties, this was one of the COOLEST reveals this show had done up till that point...)



Ah ha! Have Free Will and Destiny finally found each other? Is holy matrimony on its way? Have these two ideas existed in a false dichotomy all of these years, trying to make us believe that you can't have both? If last week's episode taught us anything, it's that we are free to choose, but that doesn't mean that'll change the outcome...

See why my head spins every single week? And see why I itch to talk to someone at length about this? It's fascinating, if not maddening, but doesn't that make for the best type of media?

Dharma Lady

Firstly, I need to apologize. My gut tells me nothing is wrong, but my heart feels the guilt of something, and in this instance (as with most instances), the heart wins. So, if I have in any way, shape, or form, offended you, hurt you, pissed you off, frustrated you, bitten you, or otherwise irritated you, I cannot help but feel deeply sorry. The inner workings of my brain dictate that I must feel extreme guilt and sadness over the awful things I say and do, and like what Tom Hanks so boldly declares in the classic tech-savvy "will they or won't they" thriller, You've Got Mail...

"I must warn you, that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it…remorse inevitably follows"

Truer words have probably been spoken, but in this particular context, Mr. "Just Call Me Joe" Hanks is the I Ching... So, with that in mind, I just want to say, "I hope you're not mad at me, because I'm not mad at you."

Secondly, I came to this realization as I tried for once to actually go to bed at a decent hour:

I sure have been half-assing it lately.

And by "it", I mean everything.

Why, might you ask? Well, I suppose it has a lot to do with my situation. I've resigned myself to experience mediocrity, as if this is to be the expected post-collegiate experience and all. I've almost convinced myself that I'm happy waking up at 9:30 every morning, wandering aimlessly around the house, maybe doing some mild exercise, having a shower, and then figuring out on a minute by minute basis what the crap I'm gonna try next. By the time I decide to do something productive, it's time to eat dinner. And that's it. From there on out, my day is done. Nothing of worth to show for it. Nothing. Yeah, I finished a spec script for 30 Rock, and I've managed to do tons of edits on my senior project, but really? 8 months after graduating, and all I have to show for it is a half-way decent spec script and a new version of a film that should have been done 8 months ago? I've tried to write, but writing without a purpose feels like a chore, and one that is rarely rewarding (Just to be clear, writing my 30 Rock spec was the most fun I've had writing in a long, long time). I kick myself every day at around 11:30 pm, where I realize I have nothing to show for the past 15 hours that I've been awake, so I panic, and I think "Well, what can I do now?" As the fatigue of a day's layabout sets in (pathetic, I know), I decide rather quickly that instead of writing, I'll catch up on Breaking Bad, or watch some dopey movie on Instant Watch, all things that I can (and do) do during the day...

And this half-assing thing extends beyond my secular pursuits. I feel spiritually less than I have been in a while, and it's eating me up. I won't go into this, as it's personal, but being home has made it surprisingly harder to be where I want to be spiritually. I've just been experiencing a lot of adult onset anxiety (or AOA). Chalk that one up to the number 8, and the fact that three people I came to know well growing up have all left their wives to seek selfish endeavors... So you can imagine I've struggled a bit.

So yeah, half-assed. That's exactly how I'd describe my days as of late.

And for those of you mildly put off by my word choice, then I applaud your concern, but, let's be honest, folks: as someone I may have offended once put it, "There's sometimes really no other way to say it " - I'm paraphrasing, of course, but you get the point.

I'm tired of living my weeks Wednesday to Wednesday (if I need to explain this, you don't come here often), because eventually, Wednesdays will be full of summer replacement programming, and So You Think You Can Dance results shows. Soon, what will I have that I can genuinely look forward to? I've grounded my reality in the experiencing of the unreal, and it's making my personal life a living hell. I don't sleep at night because I worry about everything I'm not doing, and how I need to start doing it. It's why I usually don't even try to sleep until I'm tired. It's why I wake up at 9:30.

I'm trying to remedy the writing issues with Script Frenzy, a "competition" of sorts where folks are challenged to complete a screenplay (or a comic book, or a TV spec pilot), of about 100 pages in 30 days (or the month of April). There's no prize, other than a finished script (which is actually a worthy reward). But, I'm on the fence as to what to write. I wrote about a page and half today of something, before giving up, and watching the Damages finale (sooooo good, by the way), so I'm thinking of trying something new. I want to be excited to write again, and I hope this can do it.

As for the other things, we'll see. I know what I need to do, but I just don't have the balls to do it. Well, that's not entirely true. I always feel like I have the best of intentions, just never the gall to follow through. I've never been good with goals, setting them or achieving them. I hate to be disappointed, so I try to avoid setting my sights too high... (and I'm going into filmmaking, why? *shrug*)

I dunno. All in all, this blog post reminds me of something I heard Meg Ryan once say:

"The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant so much more to me than so many somethings."

So, maybe it ain't all bad. Maybe doing nothing can actually prove to be something. Nora Ephron emphatically states in a revealing behind-the-scenes featurette that "Everything is copy", meaning that everything is a story; I just think I need to pull together everything good about my time here, and forget my failures. I have a lot to be grateful for, being home, and I suppose I need to hold on to those, and stop wishing things were perfect.

I think this sums it all up:

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void...."

*le sigh*

1-900-OKFACE

I had a whole post worked up about this awesome creative epiphany I had while writing that I felt I needed to share... So, I wrote it out, and actually posted it, but then I realized that it just wasn't suitable for public consumption. So, in exchange for that, I'll just mention this:

Carl Jung was a very smart man.

You da man, CJ...

Merkins of Hope

Random Bits 4 U:

- Wait, wait... Hold on... You haven't seen this yet? Check it:



- I'm tired of Facebook. Some people know of my anger and frustration with the "New Facebook", but this is actually more than just skin deep. See, my own personal attachment to Facebook has become a sorta sad surrogate for what most people would refer to as "a life." All of my friends are on Facebook, and so I have, in all of my self-imposed solitude, begun to equate their interest in my continued friendship by how many times they write on my wall, or comment on my pictures. I've managed to convince myself that getting someone to write on my wall is about as amazing as having a friend over for dinner. It's pathetic. I'm trying to quit.

- Have I ever told you my "Captain Awesome" theory regarding BYU? Remind me to tell you later... It's lengthy...

- I volunteered at the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament on Monday. San Diego State played (and lost) against Stanford. I got to wear a cool badge, use a fax machine, and make copies, all while running back and forth to the bathroom, thanks to the countless courtesy bottles of Vitamin Water (Fruit Punch, which is the bestest flavor), and Smart Water that I drank. I also got to walk out on the court (the sidelines, silly) during play. Exciting.

- Saw Coraline today. LOVED it. Creepy for sure, but amazing nonetheless. The 3D was some of the best I've seen (it didn't FEEL like a 3D movie... It just felt good, you know? It's hard to explain.) The experience was almost ruined by half the screen turning green for a good chunk of the second act, but after some finagling, it was fixed. No free ticket. Should I have asked for one?

- I've been doing some MAJOR edits to my senior film. I won't divulge here, but suffice it to say, there are some scenes missing. And I think I like it that way...

- I gave up (refined) sugar about a month ago, but I've had a few slips. One of them was yesterday. I had maple syrup AND ice cream. Overload. Overall, I've done well. No slips today.

- I babysat again for my sister. I don't mind, but the poor thing is dealing with his first cold, and he's miserable. Cute, but miserable.

- Who wants a peek into what I'm writing? I'll give you five words dealing with each script/idea:

• Artists, Rivalry, Kittens, Bonsai, Fellini
• Revolution, Circus, Dystopia, Amnesia, Objectivism
• Utah, Murder, Family, Forgiveness, Depression
• New Adventures of Old Christine

- I saw Watchmen twice. Definitely not a film meant for light consumption. I think it was unfairly maligned by critics and audiences. It's not a "surface" film; it needs to be devoured. I await the director's cut with much eagerness.

- Oh! I saw Changeling, with Big Lips Jolie. Wonderful film. She's incredibly talented. It's a sad film, but incredibly engaging. A tad violent at parts, and a few swears, but I will recommend it, despite its rating. A good film about hope, and determination. And, you get to hear Angie scream the words "son" and "back" a lot.

- Can't recommend Watchmen, tho...

- Is Kent there? I finished "Spider-man: Blue". Excellent piece of work. Thanks for the recommend...

That is all...

cheers!

Señor Macho Solo

Hey folks! It's time for a good old fashioned Guessing Game....

Name this actor/comedian:



Hint: He's a former cast member of Saturday Night Live.

Take a guess in the comments section, or just be lazy and click here for the answer.

AIDS Nuggets

Hey friends!

I present to you, the "Almost But Not Quite A Mac" Dell Adamo

Sorry, but if it looks like a Mac, smells like a Mac, but can only run Windows, it'll never be a Mac.

Duh!

Still, good effort, Dell... I commend your ability to cheat off someone else's paper...

Ramona Flowers

Holy crap, y'all....
Did anyone else see this last night?

Kings

'Twas pretty awesome. Big and bold with loads of Shakespearean flair, this is the kind of the dramatic shot in the arm network television needs. More often then not, this kind of prestige storytelling is picked up by HBO or Showtime (or, as of late, AMC), so having it available to everyone is pretty darn encouraging, and exciting. Give it a chance. Here are the first 20 minutes for your own perusal. If you like political intrigue, alternate universes, and/or updated Bible stories, then give this a look-see....



For the full episode click here.

Federal Bunch of Sticklers

Please understand this before watching: I HATE Elmo. I despise what he's done to Sesame Street (yes, I do have an opinion on the matter), and so I can't condone him, or even his very existence. BUT, I suspect that if Ricky Gervais were to permanently join the cast of Double S, I'd be a faithful viewer, Elmo and all...

EXHIBIT A:


On a side note, I'm seriously thinking about law school......
No really, I'm not joking.
If someone wants to talk me down off this cloud, go ahead. I'm looking into when to take the LSAT...

cheers!

Bitenüker

I really can't call myself a Coldplay fan, but on occasion, I do enjoy their music videos. Here's their latest bit of digital fantastic:

Midnight At The Oasis

I had a dream the other night that Michael Cera and I were the oldest, and dearest of friends.

This is Michael Cera

We were at some theatre, watching something prolific and hilarious, and I kept asking him about Billy Pilgrim. He seemed incredibly confused, and I felt incredibly stupid. This dream bugged me for a while ( I had the dream probably three nights ago), and now I realize why:

Billy Pilgrim - Protagonist of Kurt Vonnegut's classic sci-fi novel Slaughterhouse Five, who, like our favorite LOSTaways, becomes "unstuck in time"

SCOTT Pilgrim - Protagonist of a series of graphic novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley, which is now being made into a feature film by Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead, TV's Spaced).

Guess which one has the most to do with Michael Cera? And I'll give you a hint: it's not Billy...

Don't ask me why this made me feel stupid. It probably has to do with the deepest longings of my heart, which just happens to be to become besties with sweet lil George Michael Bluth. You know, the kind of friendship that involves sharing an afternoon chocolate shake at the local soda jerk, and brushing our hair until our periods are in sync. Of course Tina would be there, as well as Emma and Meryl. I suspect Tony Hale could show up, just as long as he brings along Jessica Walter (naturally). And Bonnie Hunt can come too, but she has to bring some sort of salad (preferably without mayonaise). Last, but not least, Ms. Parker Posey will be pleased entertain everyone with a rousing edition of "Teacher's Pet".... It would be a night to remember, or forget, depending on how free the bar is, I suppose...


Skip to 0:18 for the goods, and stay for the rest... It's a gas...

Aren't my fantasies fun?

cheers!