Tim Tam Slam

C - Emma Walker, my cousin Kyle's adorable daughter who I met for the first time today. She blows her own nose! Seriously, can't get enough!
L - My uncle John's house. It's huge.
O - My most recent purchase: Flight of the Conchords, Season 1 on DVD. It's a freaky dream, Bret. A freaky freaky dream!
S - Having waaaaaay too much time on my hands. I'm not used to this, especially considering I've been so busy lately; actually having time to relax has kinda driven me batty...
A - Watching Season 1 of Lost again. Brilliant TV, my friends...
T - Never let your busy schedule make you forget what it's like to relax, because it may just make you crazy.

Saw two movies yesterday: The Mist and Enchanted. One was mystifying and the other was hilarious. I'll let you figure out which is which (and no, I'm not being ironic)(or punny).

Thanksgiving was today. I went up to my uncle's house and we ate, "we" being a small group of my family. It was nice. It still made me sad, mostly because I had intended for the last three weeks or so to be heading home to San Diego, but I changed my mind at the last minute. I love my extended family, but due to past issues (mostly distance), I'm not as close to them as I could or should be. It frustrates me, and it makes things difficult whenever I come to visit. So, my current attitude is of sadness and regret. I should be okay, because it's not like I'm alone at my house, wishing I was elsewhere. But, then again, I am elsewhere, and I really wish that I wasn't.

I love Arrested Development. I just wanted to say that. Cause it's true...

Whoa! Boone and Shannon are about to get freaky! Aren't they, like, related? How so very George Michael and Maeby of them!
Short aside about Lost: I realized I skipped two episodes during my current "Island Madness Marathon" (my race to watch all of the previously aired episodes of Lost before the new season begins in February). It made me sad. I think I'd be more sad if I hadn't seen the show before. Sorry. I told you it was an aside.

The Battlestar Galactica movie, Razor premieres this Saturday on Sci-Fi. Can you say "Holy Crap I Couldn't Be More Excited About A Stupid Science-Fiction Show!" ? Yeah, cause it's true...

Caviar Garnish

C - Carrie Hakes, mi amiga de New Mexico, returning to town for one last ride! And some hot chocolate!
L - Panda Express for the first time in months. Man, I miss me some Orange Chicken!
O - Nifty Real D glasses that I get to keep and not use again. They really should let you bring them back to use again, because I'm on my third pair, and they're completely useless.
S - Dealing with hurt feelings from people who I once believed to be my friends. Long story. Let's not go there.
A - Watching You've Got Mail. Always a pleasure, I must say.
T - If you're not invited to see Beowulf with certain people, see it with better people. 'Nuff said...


Saw Beowulf today.
Pretty nifty.
DO NOT (seriously) see it in a normal theatre, without the aid of 3-D glasses. Part of the fun of this film is seeing it in 3-D. I honestly believe that it wouldn't have been half as cool without them. So, please, do what 'ere you can to see it in 3-D.
Yeah...
OH! Another warning: While it's PG-13, it's pretty violent, and contains a lot of nudity (mostly male bottom, but we do see some Jolie nudity, but she's covered in gold most of the time, and so there's nothing explicit). Just to warn you.
See it. It's pretty darn cool. In my humble opinion, 3-D, especially with blockbusters, is going to become the norm. It's such a fantastic way to immerse the audience in the experience, and with Beowulf there were many moments where I physically felt the film (does that make sense?). It's pretty cool. This is the 3rd film I've seen completely in 3-D (Monster House, The Nightmare Before Christmas), and two others I saw partly in 3-D (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Superman Returns). I'm convinced it's where Hollywood is going. Spielberg and Peter Jackson have recently announced a partnership to produce The Adventures of Tintin in 3-D, and James Cameron's Avatar will be completely in 3-D. Big names, big projects. Embrace it my friends. Not only is it fun, but it makes the theatre-going experience super fantastic.

You've Got Mail!

I found this to be pretty spot on brilliant. I guess that's just the geek in me coming out. This may be over some people's heads (Geocities, Prodigy, etc) but there are enough great gags that I think any fan of 24 would just love...
Enjoy!

Armani Wearing Prada

'Nuff Said...

Here's a helpful link, in case you care:

John August Explains Residuals

Here's a good video explaining it all. Take note that DVD residuals are currently off the table. What they're really fighting for is Internet profits. 

It's all about residuals, people, not salaries. Residuals keep unemployed writers (of which there are many) and their families fed. Call them spoiled, call them greedy, but they do have a right to the profits from their products, if only a ridiculously small portion. 

I commend the writers for fighting for my future, and for standing strong. Here's hoping, however, that the two parties can meet, and television and film can get back to entertaining us. 

Here's to you, my non-colleagues and maybe friends. I wish you the best. 

Jovi Punch

C - Tracy Jordan, Jewish Werewolf
L - Corner house, 11:00pm, trying to watch "The Bone Collector", people at house being louder than loud...
O - New Chocolate cell phone! It's red!
S - Trying to re-write my 419 script for a meeting tomorrow with Jeff, but being unable to do so because of excessive guitar flirting and loud giggling...
A - Doing fake suicides, à la Joel McHale on "The Soup"
T - Silence can often be the best motivator.

Dimitri and the Seven Layered Cake

C - Jared, an awesome dedicated filmmaker, with great patience when it comes to his writer...
L - Ben Unguren's office, F-342 in the HFAC ( I think)
O - A pack of Subway cookies, whose richness causes many a stomach-ache
S - Trying to decipher Tom Lefler's crazy notes!
A - Sleeping during an Ansel Adams documentary in the advanced directing class.
T - You can't please everyone, especially the Media Arts faculty.

From the sound of it, there's only one thing on my mind, and you'd be correct. Script, script, and more script. We're getting there though. We're convinced to see this through, even without our third person. We're convinced that if we hold our own and stand our ground based on the story that we'll be able to get through to the next round, but we'll see...We'll see...
In other news, it was Migraine city, after I almost threw up this morning on the way to class, due to an awful smell that reeked of vomit. I think it made me sick. Then, in an attempt to feel better, I bought some cookies that looked awesome from Subway, and they proceeded to make my already upset stomach even worse. *sigh*. Although, I was able to nap during the Ansel Adams doc (awesome, by the way, or what I saw of it anyway), so that was certainly nice.
Oh, and Jared's awesome. He's the director of the piece I'm writing. I'm glad he's patient with me, and my ramblings. It's good to have a director that cares about the process, and isn't super concerned with the story changing so frequently. Phew!

Japanese Candy

C - Gerald, lead male soloist for his Baptist Gospel choir
L - On the set of the hit television program, "Little House on the Prairie"
O - A can of soup
S - Losing your producer over creative differences
A - Watching Pushing Daisies
T - When life comes at you fast, its important to grab on, and not let go.

Update....

So, .mac was a bust. I had a hunch it would be, all things considered. While designing the site was fun and joyful, it was still a pain in the rear to update, and I could only do it from my laptop, thus leaving my poor desktop sad and lonely.
Alas, here I am, back in the Blogspot saddle again, trying to make amends for lost time.
Let's get going!
News! The producer for the project I'm writing dropped out today. Yeah. I know. Apparently he wasn't happy with the script's direction. The project was his idea, and so I suppose he deserves some kind of creative input, but the director and I have come to find his participation to be increasingly diminutive. He started not participating in our script sessions, and he would generally not read our script when I'd send it his way. I had a hunch that he was upset, but it frustrates me that he never made that clear to me.
I'm not mad, don't get me wrong, but it is annoying to see him leave like this, pretty much jeopardizing the entire production, which we have to re-pitch to The Powers That Be this next Tuesday. I loved his original idea, which is why I signed on, but holy land! Why wasn't this made clearer to me? Insecurities are abound in my mind, mostly because it is my script that has caused him to leave. I'll stand by my script, mostly because the director is fond of the direction it's heading. That makes me happy, but again, frustrated.
So, enough complainin'! On to the next, I reckon. Now we're in a mad dash for a producer to pitch with us come Tuesday. If there's anybody out there who actually reads this, and who would like to produce said project, by all means, let me know!!

A New Home...For Now

I'm trying out Apple's .Mac service because I'm fascinated by their iWeb application that allows for impressive looking blogs and such with a very user friendly environment. So, for at least the duration of the 60 day trial, I direct your attention to this website.
Enjoy!

The Tops...

Finally, three months into this new year, I'm going to finally announce my favorite films of this past year...Well, the top 10, anyway...
So, in lieu of more exposition, here she is:

1. Pan's Labyrinth - The most beautifully haunting film of the year, and also the most violent. Such a strange combination is what makes this film work so incredibly well, because it is what makes the end all the more enchanting.

2. Little Miss Sunshine - This was the best family film of the year. In spite of its R-rating, its a film that speaks to every person on this planet who questions their own self-worth. A worthwhile film for everyone to see.

3. The Departed - Its a fun, thrilling actioneer that never lets up on the tension, not even until the very last, shocking scene. Just a fantastic film.

4. Stranger Than Fiction - It's heartwarming, and its funny, and it does make you think, but not so much that your head spins. It knows its audience, and it plays to them. Will Farrell is his usual fantastic self, with a supporting cast that makes film-going a dream.

5. Children of Men - Brilliantly shot and directed. It takes an okay script and raises it to levels of sheer cinematic genius. The car chase and the final action set piece are possibly two of the most thrilling shots ever filmed. Period.

6. The Prestige - Twisty, dark and beautiful to behold. Nuff said...

7. Marie-Antoinette - Another win by Sofia Coppola. Beautiful in every frame, and mesmerizing in its directorial vision. Never has 80s punk been so cool.

8. V for Vendetta - Fun, thrilling, and thought-provoking. Full of those great "goose bump moments" that make movie-going so much fun.

9. Inside Man - Spike Lee does mainstream, and boy is it a treat. Clive and Denzel are fantastic together, and Jodie Foster being enigmatic is incredibly fun. A great bank-heist thriller with some pretty fun twists.

10. Casino Royale/Mission:Impossible III - Yes, a tie. I know... but these two spy flicks both managed to succeed in outdoing their predecessors, but they also knew how to thrill. J.J.'s directorial debut was a treat to behold (thank you Ms. Russell), and Daniel Craig's moody Bond was one of the best surprises of the year. We finally got a Bond I could respect, and Alias: The Movie...Who could ask for much more?

Other Notable Films: Dreamgirls, The Devil Wears Prada, United 93, Apocolypto, Nanny McPhee, Talladega Nights, World Trade Center, Nacho Libre

Of Formalities...

Today I had an odd experience while buying some snacks at my university's commons area. I noticed while standing in line that the cashier who was checking people's items out kept calling her customers by name. I've seen this done before, mostly at a particular grocery store back home, but I never quite took to it. I dreaded the moment I got up to the line, knowing darn well that since I was paying with a debit card that she could steal a glance at my name on the card, and then proceed to mention it as I parted ways. I was not wrong in my assumption, and to be perfectly honest, it put a huge damper on the whole transaction.

In a perfect world, though, such niceties would be appreciated. We obviously live in an increasingly cynical world where people rarely make any sort of contact with one another on a regular basis, so wouldn't such a gesture indicate a glimmer of hope? Well, in this blogger's opinion, no. I'm all for being courteous at the checkout counter. I usually say "Hi" as I approach, and then when I leave, I usually respond to the cashier's "Have a good day" with an equally as sincere "You too." I'm completely comfortable with this sort of communication between the helper and the helped. I feel like the girl who checked me out (what a phrase) wasn't even remotely sincere in her declaration. Saying my name isn't going to keep me from buying my salted cashews and Snicker's bars elsewhere. Considering the gigantic monopoly my school has on food while I'm at work (as in, I can really only buy my break items there, so I really have no choice), I guarantee I'll be back to buy more junk food items.

I don't know. I sound jaded. My roommate will certainly tell you that I'm a curmudgeon for loving the notion of the "Metro Face" (the face that most Parisians carry about their person when riding on the Parisian subway system, or Le Métro, which is usually a look of deep Parisian melancholy, with eyes full of longing...It's actually very cool), because I've never been big on being conversational with strangers. He loves it, but that's a conversation for another time. I need to do a bit of research on this topic to really ascertain how others feel about it. I just found it creepy, plain and simple. As nice a thing she might have believed it to be, it really turned into something unbearable. I dreaded our transaction, because I knew it would involve a level of insincerity that I can barely handle.

Small talk has always been a beef of mine, which is why Metro Face is so entertaining for me. Small talk reeks of insincerity. We do it simply because social conventions require us to never let a silent moment pass between two people confined to a certain space. I can agree that awkward silences are just what they claim to be -- awkward, but that's no excuse for the fact that sometimes, we just don't need to connect. I've stated in previous posts just how much I love big cities, and the connection that is palpable, especially when riding on the local transit. Even when all of our faces are clearly in Metro Face mode, there is something going on that is unspoken, but is clearly at work between each and every person on that bus/subway/trolley. There's no need to speak, and the loud noises that whichever mode you are currently riding makes certainly don't allow for easy conversation. We are apart of a larger whole, and we get that, and its a beautiful thing. Why must we feign interest in someone else's existence in order to make ourselves feel better about a certain silence that really shouldn't bother anyone? It just feels ludicrous to me. I love talking to people. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to talk anyone's ear off who will listen, but I draw the line at strangers, especially strangers in passing.

I don't think I'm totally right on this matter. My roommate is perfectly happy talking to random people, and he loves having random people talking to him. I'm pretty convinced that he would love to have someone say his name at the checkout counter. Feel what you will, but I just might snap the next time I hear someone say my name while scanning food. But, not in a crazy way... I just might write another post... Heaven forbid...

The Life of Pi

Today while driving with one of my housemates, I noticed that he had a copy of Yann Martel's (il est un québecois!) The Life of Pi. He told me to read it, because the very thought of it (the book's story) bored him to tears, so I gladly took it. Its actually not his copy, but some girl he knows' copy. So, I'm borrowing it from someone else who's borrowing it from someone else...
In any case, I'm stoked to finally read it, as I've heard its nothing short of fantastic. I like what I've read so far, so maybe I'll keep whoever reads this posted, so they too may venture into this world.

John August

Writers and those who love writers take note:
A freakin' rad website has come to my attention... www.johnaugust.com

It's written almost daily by a produced screenwriter appropriately named John August, whose works include Go, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Big Fish, Corpse Bride and a few more less than reputable films (but, hey, he's doin' better than I am). His most recent film The Nines, was a selection at Sundance, where it earned raves and also distribution. He wrote and directed that one, in case you care....

What I dig most about the site is his insight into not only the business of screenwriting, but the craft as well. Film students should take notes on his "How to Write a Scene" entry, and especially his "How to Write Dialogue." I'm just fascinated by his techniques, and equally as heartened to realize that he too struggled and continues to fine tune his craft. It's healthy to realize we may never be exceptional, but it's important to note that we can always at least try.
So, visit said website, if you have any interest at all in the craft of screenwriting (and yes, my dear naysayers, it is a craft, and it is one that does have to be fine tuned...)

Snarky comments aside, its a fun read for all who care to venture in that direction. Audiences should check it out to maybe get a better sense as to why we as writers try so desperately to surprise you, and for the most part, you deny us that with your reliance upon cliché. Get a glimpse into our process, and maybe you'll better appreciate how much we actually do care about what you think...

Enjoy!

John August

Snore....

I fell asleep during Battleship Potemkin yesterday.
Yeah, I know...
Maybe I'm completely reading this wrong, but shouldn't I be ashamed of myself? Me, a film student, falling asleep during THE quintissential film from Soviet cinema? I see it as wrong, but I also don't seem to care that much. It was a great nap, and I was able to catch up after a long night, so I really couldn't care less. But still! A part of me is reeling from the fact that I have the ability to fall asleep during any movie you put me in front of. Any movie. Whether or not I like it or not, I'm out like a light, usually within the first 15 minutes. In the broad scheme of things, I suppose the first 15 is the best place to fall asleep, if one had to fall asleep, but there is always that "what if" factor that informs me that I could very well be missing something great.
It's been a problem for years, actually. I remember my first year of college, taking an Intro to Film class, and falling asleep during EVERY movie I watched (except two, The Apartment and Wait Until Dark, but come on! Those are impossible to sleep through!). Ever since then, I have no choice half of the time. I just fall asleep. Annoying, is the word that frequently comes to mind. I should be studying these films intensely, trying to better understand the history of cinema, etc. etc. but man!
Anyway, I think no matter how hard I try, this will always be a problem. I'm chroniclly tired, no thanks to my current lifestyle, and I fear I'll never be able to catch up (the film world requires 14 hour days for months at a time....Yeah....).
Oh well.

Artist of the Week...

Sufjan Stevens -

Good accoustic music nowadays feels like a dime a dozen. Over done and over played, certain artists like Jack Johnson, John Mayer and many others often get the most recognition amongst this group of musicians. Don't get me wrong, I really dig Jack Johnson (his laid back surfer attitude reminds me of home, and his Curious George soundtrack is more fun than one should have with a children's movie), but one can't help but feel inundated by the amount of times his songs are played on the local Top 40 station. If we branch out outside of the norm, we can find some real gems. Among them is local favorite Benton Paul (check him out if you haven't. A-freakin'-mazing...and it isn't because I know him personally...), the always brilliant (and soon to break-up) Nickel Creek, and this week's Artist of the Week, Sufjan Stevens.

I first got wind of Sufjan when I learned a song of his would be used in a film I was working on this past summer. The song, a Christmas one, had all the makings of a great piece of accoustic coolness, so I had to find more of his stuff. Turns out, he has had some mild success. His song "To Be Alone With You" was featured on one of the many "The O.C." mixes, and a few of his songs were featured on the "Little Miss Sunshine" soundtrack. But, as is the case with many great artists, that is only the tip of the musical iceberg. To get the full Sufjan Stevens experience, one must check out his full length albums.

Stevens has since previous dedicated himself to the notion that he wants to write an album based on each of the 50 states of the union. Interesting prospect no doubt, and so we see that two of his previous albums fall along those lines. "Come on Feel the Illinoise" and "Greetings From Michigan" are albums full of a variety of songs, each with very very long titles. It makes for a fun experience to listen to the full album, because it often takes as long to listen to the song as it does to read the title.

Now, Stevens is releasing a Christmas album, full of some of the most interesting Christmas remakes and originals, including the song featured in our film. I was able to download the album (legally) a while back ( it was previously only made available to family and friends, but Sufjan leaked it to several websites for mass releasage), and I'm enjoying it thoroughly. He plans on releasing a new Christmas album each year full of these same witty pieces. His sense of humor is evident in his choice of instruments for each song, and also in how he reworks the titles.

Follow the link below for a better glimpse into his world. His humor runs rampant on the website of his record label, Asthmatic Kitty Records, and so a brief glimpse is definitely worth a look-see.

Asthmatic Kitty Records

Of the Rhythms of the City...

As a hopeless romantic, I find myself completely in love with big cities. The class and culture that they exhibit is nothing short of amazing to me, and I long for their urban embrace. I think big cities represent to every romantic the place where all things are possible. There's a pretty good reason why most films take place in large cities as opposed to small towns; good stuff is always bound to happen.

My love affair with the metropoli of the world started with New York. "Friends" and "Seinfeld" introduced me to the idea that great friends and romance was certain within its limits. You've Got Mail further confirmed that New York was merely a small town on a large scale, a quaint community of people where connections were never that far away. Love was inevitable for Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox, so by means of assumption, love is inevitable to all who sought after it.

Baz Luhrmann begged radio listeners in 1999 to:

"Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft."

Having already lived in and left Northern California, it's only natural for me to want to balance the equation. My soft milk chocolate center needs a hard candy shell.

My love affair continued to expand as I took my first trip to Chicago in 2002. Here, the landscape of the modern American city was first introduced to me. I rode my first subway here, commuting with the people of the city as if one of them. There was a rhythm that they had. They moved about the streets and subway stations as if they were maneuvering a limb; naturally and gracefully. I wanted so badly to blend in and become just another Chicagoan. My toursity eyes most likely gave me away, as I was in constant awe of my surroundings, but I did my best. For a brief moment, I think I became one with the streets, criss-crossing them like a seasoned pro. The buildings overshadowed me, and for the first time, my apparent grandeur was greatly reduced to nothing. I was humbled by their size and presence, and it changed me forever. Sears Tower still remains the highest building I've ever been in, and while a mild waste of time, the view from the top was spectacular to behold. Here I felt the pulse of the city, seeing on a grand scale exactly how things moved. I was awe struck.

A year later in 2003, I had the immense privilege of moving to Paris. While in height and size, Paris cannot compare to the cities of America, Paris became so much more than a simple tourist hotspot. I naturally did all of the necessary tourist attractions, taking in as much as I could. But soon, it wasn't about that. Soon, Paris became about the side streets, the metros, the trees in the fall, winter and spring, and the people. While I still stood in awe many many times of the great cathedral of Notre Dame in the heart of the city, or of the lights of the city as I stood on Pont Neuf overlooking the Seine, there was a different kind of beauty that I saw while sitting on my balcony each night, sipping herbal tea, and just taking deep breaths. I remember those moments almost more vividly than those I spent in the Louvre, or on the Eiffel Tower. I remember the sounds, the smells, the chill in the air. Paris has a rhythm, much like Chicago, and I could feel it on those nights. I could see it from my balcony, with cars passing every second without fail and people still enjoying the sights at ten o' clock at night. Our balcony overlooked several restaurants , and when spring hit, and those tables were moved outside, I was privy to one of the most fantastic of sights in Paris: the café . My balcony soon became front row center to the most fascinating anthropology experiment I've ever conducted. Watching people eat and drink became hypnotic and amusing.

The metros served as another place to experience the people. So much can be said about the mass transit system in Paris. It's effective, yet consistently crowded. It's rare to ever sit down, and its also rare to never have to shove your way out once you have to leave. More often than not, you are shoved in between a mass of 25 people, each with distinctive body odors, whether its cologne, perfume or nothing at all. Human contact is inevitable while on the metros, and that's what gives it its charms. In the city, we sense that loneliness and a feeling of being lost would most likely consume us as we walked the crowded streets. But, I never felt that while in Paris. I felt a part of something bigger than myself, and I felt that each person I made physical contact with in the most arbitrary ways was a part of that something as well. There's a uniqueness to the urban touch that cannot be felt in smaller towns, and while strange and uncomfortable, I sometimes wish I could have it back.

I can't explain my feelings in the manner that is most convincing. My experiences in Chicago, and most importantly in Paris have led me to believe I was born to live a city life. I never felt more at home than I did while I was living in Paris. I still refer to it as my hometown, because I've never experience more separation anxiety with anywhere else that I've lived. I cried like a baby when I had to leave, and it was like pulling teeth to get me to stop talking about it after I had. My heart beats to the same fast paced rhythm that exists in these cities. I get a thrill from walking quickly down a crowded street, or from running onto the loud buzzing subway train, squeezing tightly between two larger people. I love how after time, the sounds of the streets become silent, and all you hear is your own thoughts. You grow to ignore the noise, and you learn to embrace it.

I long to move to New York. I have since I could remember. I will move there. It's inevitable for me to eventually find myself on the streets of Manhattan. It's where I belong. I see myself married there, married to a woman equally as in tune with the city streets as I am. I see ourselves frequenting the opera or the symphony at Lincoln Center, or the hot new show on Broadway. I see us dancing slowly at a dimly lit jazz club. I envision all of this because I cannot shake it. I cannot see myself living in a house in the suburbs. I only see myself in a Brownstone, kids in tow, and a beautiful wife to boot. It may all sounds unrealistic and completely outrageous, but I refuse to dream moderately. Such an idea is almost an oxymoron. How can we ever expect to hit the target if we never aim high?


So this is my wish, to one day feel the rhythm of the city again at my feet. I feel like a piece of me is missing since I left Paris. I'd give anything to return there and feel what I felt once again, but realistically, that may not happen. New York, however, can. While as of now it is uncertain whether I'll find myself enamored with it as I was once with Paris, I cannot sit idly by and assume that I won't. As someone once said, "You get what you settle for", and I can't resolve myself to give up hope that a life more full is available elsewhere. For if we have no more to hope for, than we certainly have nothing to live for.

I'm Sorry For This...

I could not stop laughing when I saw this...Seriously...Call me terribly insensitive, but you have to admit...It's pretty ironic...

And we all thought Wii was an unfortunate name...

Of Hellos...

While on my way home this morning from class, I happened to run into the normal barrage of people who I know from my apartment complex on their way up to campus. This happens every morning, simply because there's only two ways to get to campus from where I live, and so, naturally....You get the point. Anyway, my problem with this daily occurrence stems from my insecurities when it comes to saying "Hey" properly. The first person I saw, I barely said a word to; the noise on the street made it impossible to hear anything, and I didn't even notice that she was trying to talk to me until we passed, and I caught a noise coming from her mouth. So there you have Awkward Hey #1. My hope at the time was that it would remain the only Awkward Hey of the day, but alas, as was expected, I would experience two more....
The second Awkward Hey was the most awkward of them all. It's the one that inspired me to write this post in the first place. The wet and cold day we're experiencing had me naturally placing my hands in the pockets of my coat, and they were rather comfortable there. I noticed up ahead a person I knew fairly well, and I wanted to acknowledge him, and try to atone for the sins of the previous Awkward Hey. My mind was racing trying to come up with the best means to say "hey", when suddenly I lifted my hand out of my pocket, and did a low wave. What ever compelled me to perform such a ridiculous motion is beyond even my comprehension. I mean, really, what did I intend to accomplish with such a gesture? It was as if I was performing some strange Jedi mind trick on him, forcing him to say "Hey" in return. I knew he'd acknowledge me, because that's just the sort of person he is, so why did I need to awkwardly wave my hand like that?!? In any case, that was Awkward Hey #2, the most awkward of them all.
Awkward Hey #3 may or may not be considered awkward. This one was a simple nod and a smile, as opposed to any foolish words. While I didn't do anything stupid outright, I could have possibly offended her by not saying anything, which is probably the greater sin .
But, my real question today is, what constitutes a proper "hello?" I'm pretty certain it's dependent upon the situation, but how can one avoid even the most awkward of hellos? Is there a surefire way to extinguish the problem?
Let's ponder this for a moment: Guys, in general, tend to not acknowledge people in a very warm manner. The common accepted greeting among this sex is the grunt and nod. I consciously abstain from the grunt and nod, because it looks both ridiculous, and slightly epileptic. I think that this is what gets me into trouble. The grunt and nod, while sometimes resembling a mild case of Tourette's Syndrome, might just be the least awkward means of saying "Hey" to fellow men. As far as women go, females never seem to have problems saying hey to one another. I did see "Mean Girls", so maybe there is much more going on inside than out, but it all seems so cuddly and gentle. They're usually louder and more spirited, and they tend to have much more physical contact than guys (i.e. hugs).
But, what happens when the two collide? Males and females, each with their own set of rules, trying desperately to acknowledge casually and quickly the other's presence.... This is where the Awkward Hey comes into play (that's the second time I've rhymed that today! The Awkward Hey...)...How can it not? Unless there is an established bond of friendship (like a serious friendship), then there's no easy way to say hi. For me at least, I frequently think upon the girl with which I'm about to have contact with's current relationship status. If it is known, the Hey is affected according the situation. If she's taken, the Hey is more sheepish and awkward, mainly because I feel like I'm intruding somehow by acknowledging her...If she's not available, and I'm not interested (which is usually the case), I tend to be warmer, and more open.
Luckily, I think, girls have a keen sense of understanding when it comes to guys. They thankfully don't expect the same contact that they receive from their "girlfriends", and thus we are saved from ever having to resort to loud giggles and an excess of hugging. But, at the same time, I sense that they are longing for more. I guess that's why it feels awkward for me. They may be perfectly happy with a modified grunt and nod (usually consisting of a smile, and maybe some sort of verbal acknowledgement containing more than a syllable), but I get the feeling that they'd like to hug, maybe let out a good cry, or just laugh a little. Who knows....
Then, however, you have the cling-ies...the people who cannot accept a casually quick hello; the one's that just HAVE to stop and talk to you. While I have no problem talking to these people in a normal setting, there's something about it being on the side of the road that just makes me annoyed. Especially while returning home from work/school. Never is there any greater a time for me to not want to talk to people. I like to clam up in my bedroom, or watch a little "Frasier", ignore the world, and eventually crawl back into society...So, these sort of people are barely tolerable at times, and they represent another significant chunk of the Awkward Heys I experience.
So I wonder: Why can't we live like the French, where a simple Bonjour or Salut suffices in casual contact, or the even more fun bisous (the air kisses on the cheeks) for longer visits? I mean, really...What's the deal with our need to alter tradition here in the States, and establish such a primitive and meaningless method of communication? It's as if we don't want to talk to people, and by grunting and nodding, we feel we can escape this! Well, I say that we shouldn't, and that in doing so, we degrade our society one badly pronounced syllable after another. I denounce the grunt and nod. I abhor its wicked ways, and beg that we all do the same! Why must we play mind games with ourselves, desperately seeking the means to say just the right thing in just the right way? Why must we fear how others view our inability to offer up a collected and casual "hey"? Why must this be the way our country functions!?!?!?!?!?!
So, I say this in conclusion:
Here's to the Awkward Hey and all that it represents for a better, more enunciated America!

Of Artists and Engineers...

So, I was at Wendy's today, buying myself a lovely (and cheap) Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxe, when I spotted a classmate of mine, in line as well, and it made me think of this story, which is at the same time utterly pointless, and only slightly amusing...
So, today during my Humanities Discussion Labs (the names they come up with for Labs are mighty amusing here at the University Not To Be Named), we were discussing (okay, so the name DOES fit...) the poets of the Romantic era (Byron, Keats, Shelley, Wordsworth, Coleridge, etc.), specifically Wordsworth and Coleridge. Sadly, that fact has little to do with the story...I just wanted to write down the names of some of my favorite poets....What!?...Was it THAT distracting??!!!...
Anyway, we have class in the campus' art building (or the Music, Art, Theater and Film building), and our specific classroom is used for drawing courses. Well, we were sitting at the very same tables that many a artist have sat at and drawn at, and we noticed that our sleeves and hands and notebooks were getting smudged up with graphite and charcoal. We all moaned a bit, and I decided to shout out "Artists!", you know, in a very sarcastic tone. I also slammed my fists on the table, if you were looking for a visual... What I failed to realize, however, was that no one got the irony of my comment. No one in that class knows I'm an artist, and so all was lost on them. This brings me to the guy sitting next to me, the same fellow I saw at Wendy's... He's a musician, or in other words, an artist (if we're speaking Grammy-wise), and I think he took offense to what I said. My gut tells me that he didn't, but my voracious appetite for good copy for my blog tells me that he did, and that I will forever be the subject of many a glare. He's a bit smug, if you want my honest opinion, even if he holds no ill will towards me. He's got that typical Music major attitude of "Oh my life is hard cause they demand so much from us." Oh, give me a break. Talk to any Mechanical or Electrical Engineering major and they'll have more than a few whoppers to tell you! Freak. I deal with my roommate's (and Mech. Engineering major) whining about his class load, and junk like that. I get it. Trust me. Music is cake.
Which brings me to another point....Oh, how I wish I lived with a Music major!!! Seriously, smug artist over smug wannabe engineer, ANYday!!!!! At least with a fellow artist in da house, we could act smug together, debating the validity of both films and albums, and sticking our noses up at anything and everything we find unsuitable for viewing or listening....Oh, to be smug!
So, there you have it folks. My thoughts for this Friday. Tune in next time when I discuss the validity of films that none of you will probably ever want to see, and then I'll talk endlessly about classical music and the various (specifically the Freudian) interpretations of Coleridge's opium-induced classic "Kublah Kahn"... It's sure to be a hoot....

ciao
parker

Oh The Sweet Irony...

Gather round children, while I tell you of the best cover I've heard in a long while....
It's by Nickel Creek, who we all know and love, and it's them taking on...
No, I think I'll let you figure it out for yourself...
Anyway...
This song certainly put a sweet grin on my face, despite a pretty average day.
Sooooo....
Have fun!!!!

http://www.musiccherry.com/archives/13%20Toxic.mp3

(Be sure to turn up the volume -- it's a concert recording, so it's quiet, and what not...)

ciao
parker

Incubaka...

Many of you who know me know how I feel about the music that is Rock. My love for modern rock/alternative music was greatly decreased in 2001 by the band formerly known as Creed. I blame them, and them alone for my serious distaste for this genre. Around this time, I began seeking greater musical avenues, and I soon discovered the beauty that is Classic Rock, and I began to listen exclusively to that and that alone.
A dear friend of mine, however, has always found it necessary to criticize this love of mine. It's all in good fun, yes, but I must say that I've found it hard to heed her advice, and try to enjoy modern rock. She frequently mentions great bands that I proceed to listen to in iTunes or wherever, and usually, I'm disappointed. I can enjoy it, but I just don't get that same "umph" that I get with most Classic Rock.
One band, in particular, that she has pushed above all others is that of Incubus, so I will proceed to share my thoughts on this band:



Incubus is a band I can get behind. While their music isn't the kind of music I can constantly listen to, or even purchase a lot of, I have tremendous respect for them, and the institution they've managed to create.
Incubus is more than just a rock band, but a progressive rock band (in a very liberal sense of the phrase). They're the kind of band that refuses to be pigeon-holed in any specific genre of rock, and therefore, are always changing their sound. Most people have heard Incubus at one point or another, usually in the form of their biggest hit "Drive", or in other moderate hits like "Stellar" or "Wish You Were Here." What's most sad about this, is that most people haven't heard the REAL Incubus, because those latter songs make up only a small part of the Incubus library of music. They infuse rock and rap on many songs, many times defying standard rhythms to create something that will instantly be thought of as unique. Their lyrics are poetic and insightful, and superbly profound. They don't shy away from writing obscure lines and complicated melodies.
Sometimes they're extremely mellow, musing about love lost; other times, their lyrics pack a powerful political punch, and their message is all too clear. They're constantly trying to re-invent themselves, and therefore will never become stale.
The highlight of the music of Incubus is the lead singer, Brandon Boyd (center in above photo). His flawless vocals punctuate each piece with a melancholy beauty that's extremely rare in the rock genre. He lacks the nasal tones of punk rock, or the rasp growls of most alt rock singers; it's sweet, clear, and extremely beautiful. His range is unbelievable, and it's clear from one listen that his is one of the most talented vocalists working today.
One of my favorite aspects of this band is the inventive percussion. After watching some concert DVD's, I've seen how they handle the bongo portion of the songs, and it's quite cool. Just listen to the intro to "New Skin" off of their S.C.I.E.N.C.E. album, and you'll get a taste of this. I also enjoy the tasteful (take THAT Linkin Park) use of rap and hip-hop to heighten the rock experience. The scratches come at just the right moments, and the random samples are very well placed.
Now, you have to be wondering.... With praise like this, how come I said earlier that they're not a band I could listen to a lot of, or even purchase? Well, it's mostly because I just ain't as young as I used to be, and hard rock sometimes just doesn't do it for me. I find the more stressed out out I get, the softer and more mellow I want my music to be. On various occasions, music like Incubus has hit the spot, but I find that lately, the teenage-like angst that used to drive me towards hard rock just doesn't exist much anymore. But, don't get me wrong...I don't think it requires that certain kind of angst, or any angst at all in order to enjoy Incubus. I think I'm a rare breed, and I think that those who enjoy Incubus listen only because they relish in the aspects of the band I mentioned above. They are one of the most talented bands in music today. Compare, if you must, the garbage that is anything released by Hoobastank, or Creed with any album done by Incubus, and it'll become immediately clear that some rock can't and shouldn't be tolerated.
All in all, Incubus is a band that, according to conventional wisdom, should be a huge hit. From the intoxicating sounds and insightful lyrics, to the incredible vocals by lead Boyd, one would expect Incubus to frequently top the TRL countdown, or even Billboards charts. But, the beauty of it all comes down to the fact that Incubus manages to be known, and yet still unknown. While other bands "sell-out" and whore themselves out to the screaming girls of MTV's fanbase, Incubus remains a relatively unhidden secret. They're worth a listen, if you haven't quite had the chance. They're interesting and engaging, and, at least for me, that makes for a mighty fine rock band.

Brokeback...

I found this video semi-amusing...I'm surprised at how well they spliced the footage together to make it so, um, convincing...
Doc and Marty 4Ever!!! *sniff*



parker

Beatles Song of the Week...

A'ight, it's that time again. I almost completely forgot to name a song for this week, but thankfully, a little tunage this morning brought back the importance of this column to my readers. I get tons of e-mails calling for more recommendations from the greatest band to have ever walked this great earth, so in response to them, here is this week's song:


"Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da" - Lennon/McCartney
One of the reasons I absolutely worship The Beatles, is that they contain equal parts quirk and profound thought. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" is a great example of quirk. The charming nature of the song recalls the almost unnecessary bizarreness of modern bands like Weezer and Guster, and that's totally okay. The song almost has a pre-school feel to it, being a song that children could sing, if only they had teachers with great taste in music (a rarity. Occasionally you get one, like my Junior English teacher, who's affections for Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen were mutual with my own). It's instantly unforgettable after hearing it, and the chorus is tons of fun to sing along to. I especially love the line, "Life goes on, bra" for the simple fact that, it seems that The Beatles were the first to coin this lazy form of "bro." Interesting bit of trivia, I must say. So, in fairness to those who aren't familiar with this song (and no, having watched the TV show "Life Goes On" does not mean you've really heard this song...), here are the lyrics, and a link to amazon.com so you all can purchase the album:

Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace
Molly is the singer in a band
Desmond say to Molly, girl I like you face
And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da,
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on

Desmond take a trolley to the jewelers store
Buys a twenty carat golden ring, (rin-ring)
Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door
And as he gives it to her she begins to sing (sin-sing)

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on

Yeah, In a couple of years they
have built a home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
of Desmond and Molly Jones

Happy ever after in the market place
Desmond lets the children lend a hand
Molly stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on

Happy ever after in the market place
Molly lets the children lend a hand
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra
La la how the life goes on
And if you want some fun
take Ob-la-di-bla-da

Me Oscar Predix...

Hey y'all.
Well, today was THE day for the film world. This morning, the AMPAS announced their nominations for the Academy Awards, and boy were they not the least bit surprising. I managed to predict almost all of them, with the directing category being my only fumble. But, now I have the chance to redeem myself, and so, without further annoying chatter, I give to you my Oscar Predix...

Best Picture:
What Will Win: Brokeback Mountain
What Should Win: Good Night and Good Luck

Best Director:
Who Will Win: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
Who Should Win: George Clooney, Good Night and Good Luck

Best Actor:
Who Will Win: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
Who Should Win: David Strathairn, Good Night and Good Luck

Best Actress:
Who Will Win: Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
Who Should Win: Keira Knightely, Pride and Prejudice

Best Supporting Actor:
Who Will Win: Paul Giamatti, Cinderella Man
Who Should Win: Paul Giamatti, Cinderella Man

Best Supporting Actress:
Who Will Win: Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
Who Should Win: Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain

Best Screenplay (Original):
What Will Win: The Squid and the Whale
What Should Win: Good Night and Good Luck

Best Screenplay (Adapted):
What Will Win: Brokeback Mountain
What Should Win: Brokeback Mountain

Best Animated Feature:
What Will Win: Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
What Should Win: Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

There you have it. The "What/Who Should Win" catergory is merely what I would rather see win, based on personal bias, or the fact that I haven't seen the film that's the leading contender. I loved Good Night and Good Luck, which is apparent in my picks, so I'd LOVE to see that beat out Brokeback Mountain in the major catergories. So yeah, while this may seem pretensious, because maybe some of you have not seen these films, it's really not. These are the obvious winners, and like last year, I doubt there will be much of a surprise when the winners are annoucned in March...

Beatles Song of the Week...

"Here, There, and Everywhere" - Lennon/McCartney

I didn't intend this to be the inagural Beatles Song of the Week, but I heard it this morning while working, and I just couldn't resist putting it in. I absolutely love the slow rhythm, and how it just tells such a sweet story. Yeah, a bit simplistic for a Beatles song, as far as explanations go, but one listen can convince even the hardest of the hard. Take a gander at the lyrics to get a grip on the song, or purchase this fine album from Amazon.com.

To lead a better life
I need my love to be here

Here, making each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there's something there

There, running my hands through her hair
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is speaking, but she doesn't know he's there

I want her everywhere
And if she's beside me I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her

Everywhere, knowing that love is to share
Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

I want her everywhere
And if she's beside me I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her

I will be there, and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere

Me, A Shirt, and a Very Dark Room...

So, this morning I put my shirt on backwards. I guess this is the ultimate consequence of getting dressed in the complete dark, at 4:30 in the morning. What's sad is that I didn't realize it until at least 5 people had already seen me like that. I even had two girls snicker at me. I was oblivious as to why, and I tried to be coy, and not think it was about me. I'm now convinced it was. I guess the ultimate blessing behind this was that I had the opportunity to quickly remedy the problem, because the building where I work was almost completely empty (at least the part I was in at the moment of realization.) I had a good laugh about it as I went up the elevator to my little closet of goodies (mops, brooms, and Shineline Mint-Scented Multi-Purpose Surface cleaner...). What a morning...what a morning...........

The Pits...

Here, my friends, is what I like to deem "The Pits", or the worst films I saw this year. There are many, and each deserves complete ridicule for wasting my time, and the time of a good chunk of America (in the case of a few of them). I generally try to steer clear of bad films, but sometimes, my carnal nature gets the very best of me, and I just can't resist. So, here it is, at long last, The Pits of 2005

1. The Fog - Oh. My. Freak. This piece of garbage was absolute junk. Not once did I flinch from the supposed "horror" aspect of it all. Each and every moment was incredibly hilarious in all the wrong ways. Waste of talent on the parts of Tom Welling and Maggie Grace (R.I.P. Shannon), and sadly, its not going to do much for the latter, career-wise. I pray that this film is not being viewed by any more people than it has to, and I hope with all my heart that there aren't people out there who actually believe its a good film. If that be the case, then our nation is truly in a sad state of affairs....Damn you Bush....

2. The Transporter 2 - Simply put, I could barely stand to sit through this. Shoddy direction, terribly writing, and some of the WORST acting (Amber Velleta! What the freak were you doing in this garbage?!?!?!) EVER...The story was about as cliché as it was improbable. While some of the fight sequences did merit some praise, they weren't enough to tickle my fancy straight to the video store to purchase this. I'm a sucker for a great action movie, even those that may be improbable and cliché (Die Hard, anyone?), but this...This was terrible. I expect more out of you, Luc Besson....La honte, M. Besson...La honte....

3. The Ring Two - Gag me. While the first one had me simply terrified and petrified for about a week after seeing it, this one left me cold. I just couldn't figure it out. It was filled with strange symbolism ( I think) and even stranger moments. It was a well put together film, but it failed to impress me on many levels. It lacked any resonate core. The whole possession story was stupid and forced, and the fact that they completely eliminate the tape from the film in the first 10 minutes made me want to cry. Thats what made the first one so fabulous. My hope for the sequel? Imagine if the tape had reached all across the US, like an epidemic...What if that were the case? Think of the story they COULD have come up with had they sat down and not tried to copy Dark Water.

4. Dark Water - And when I say Dark Water up above, I mean the Japanese film. This one was released after The Ring Two, and it was absolute junk as well. What begins as a promising drama, and slightly creepy film, just turns into a failed premise with no scares to be found, anywhere. Jennifer Connally is good in it, as is most of the other cast members, and its their performances that place this film at number 4, and not at number 1, because the film itself was a terrible, terrible let down. So many red herrings in the first hour that elude to a more sinister plot, but none of them go anywhere, so you feel cheated. I felt cheated, for sure...Ugh...

5. The Brothers Grimm - I'm getting rather tired of panning these films in long paragraphs, so I think I'll continue to just give a brief reason why I hated it. This one was too long, and way to confusing. The story could have been great, and the references to classic fairy tales were fun, but just not good enough. Very morbid and slightly depressing...Not Gilliam's best...*sigh*

6. Exorcism of Emily Rose - This films on the list because it just didn't scare me like I'd hoped it would. Instead, its an intriguing, yet slightly boring courtroom drama that held my interest, but I didn't care for the characters. It was okay. We're getting to the point on the list where the movies weren't the best I saw, nor were they the worst...they just weren't great. Emily Rose is one of them. I didn't mind it, but it just failed to impress.

7. Flightplan - Same goes with this film. Great opening, and the first hour is great, but the last half an hour or so just get dumb. Once we find out the solution to the mystery, its hard to care anymore. It was almost too easy.

8. The Skeleton Key - This film was also just okay. It had some semi-creepy moments, but all in all, it wasn't a cut above. The twist end was pretty cool, but at the same time, it certainly wasn't as Sixth Sense-like as they'd advertised it to be. But, the twist was original, and it was a nice diversion from the terrible lot of Japanese horror remakes that make up the top of my list...

9. The Amityville Horror - Ditto everything I said about all of the other horror movies on this list. Not scary, and ridiculously pathetic. A Failure on all counts (And yes, the capital F is on purpose...Aren't I clever?!?!?!11) ...This one should be near the top, right under The Ring Two, but alas, I'm again too lazy to move it...

That's it. I can't think of anymore films that should be up here...If I do, I'll be sure to update...

Oh, and be sure to read my Tops... post for my Top Ten Films of 2005...

ciao
parker

Of Lewis and Pastries...

Well, pithy introductions aside, I feel it is most important that I begin my story quickly, and to tell it effectively. My tendancy to ramble is legendary, and I won't fall victim to its rascally ways. So, in lieu of a great, and witty beginning, I shall simply start out like this:
So, this morning, much to my amusement, was more entertaining than it has been the whole time I've slaved away on the stairs of the Math and Computer Science building, here at the University-That-Is-Not-To-Be-Named. One reason, and possibly the most obvious to those to whom I've already spoken, is the fact that after a long delay, our lovely, yet utterly totalitarian supervisor decided it was time that she fed us. So, we had a nice little breakfast (quick note, I feel it is neccessary to say that this breakfast was felt very strongly after the fact, all throughout my digestive tract. Next time she lures me into eating one of those irresistable poppy seed cakes with the glaze, or even that sinful chocolate milk, I'll be sure to quickly decline) in the third hour, thus cutting short my painful efforts to scrub (and I mean SCRUB) the stairs that never cease to be dirty. Ever. A nice treat and one that was well appreciated in a scholastic sense because I had a French paper to finish (Curse you, those with whom I played Speed Scrabble, drank copious amounts of Martinelli's and ate ravishing brownies), and I was able to leave early without consequence. Except financially. But, what does that matter...

Still, the greatest surprise of all came long before the above shindig. Normally, I listen to some sort of audio entertainment while mopping. Most of the time, its a terribly conceived mix of songs (imagine if you will Burt Bacharach's The Look of Love being followed by Gilbert and Sullivan's I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General, which is then followed by Green Day's Novocaine...it's like listening to Jack FM, except without the annoying man voice that thinks its soooo cool, which probably makes my mix better than Jack FM, but at the end of the day, I really dislike (read: hate) both.). This time, I tried to forget this mix, and expand my horizons. I have practically 20 MiniDiscs full of music, so I guessed anything else would be better.
Well, to make a long story short, I placed in a disc that I believed to be Nickel Creek's newest album, but I was instead treated to John Cleese's rousing reading of "The Screwtape Letters." I was shocked. I had completely forgotten about this disk. I had burned just before parting on my trip up here, but never got the chance to listen to it, thanks in part to my car's inablity to stay in one piece, and the very hot Nevada desert that almost claimed its life. I was so pleased to hear this, and it helped pass the two hours that I did work, very quickly. C.S. Lewis' clever musings on temptation and sin are rendered all the more entertaining when read by a member of Monty Python; especially the bit about humor. I found it extremely ironic that a man so famous for his bawdy humour (oooooo...) was reading the writings of a man who obviously disapproved of it.
So, while seemingly petty and uninteresting to probably the majority of those who read this, I found this morning to be a breath of fresh air. Who'd of thunk that a little bit of Lewis and a smidgeon of sweets could help to brighten one man's hopelessly dreadful morning.

Also featured today were my attempts at fixing my incredibly pesky television. I actually went out and bought a soldering iron in order to repair the thing, and my success can only be described as non-existent and fleeting (there was about a 5 minute period where I felt invincible to all things technical, and began clapping my hands in order to keep the TV's volume at a reasonable level, as if clapping was a proven method to express faith...Don't hate, Tink...) The problem still persists, and yet, I remain apathetic. How often can you get a TV for $8? Not too often, so if a little light slam is neccessary in order to save a few hundred bucks, fine by me.

There you have it, folks, straight from my head, to my fingers, to the keyboard, to the computer, and then after that, into the hands of the great and mystical Internet gods who will publish this great work of lunacy all over this great world of ours for all to see, and for no one to care about... Man! The Internet rulez!!!!1111

'Ave a gud one, luv!

ciao
parker

Tops...

And some women's tops...



______

In all seriousness though, the end of the year is upon us, and it always begs the question amongst us snobby types: What were the best full-length feature films of this, the year of our Lord, two-thousand and five? Which films sucked a nice juicy hard-boiled egg? Which films were simply so bad, one couldn't bear even the sight of the title on a marquee? All of these questions can and will be answered in a single list; a list that will defy an empire...Or something to that effect. So, here she is (for all great lists are female), the greatest list ever, for the year 2005...

1. Pride and Prejudice - Most artsy film I saw all year, and frankly the best one period. So chuck full of humor and romance, its hard to not to fall hard for this spectacular adaptation. Keira Knightly is a dream, and so is her hot sister, whose name escapes me. Beautifully shot from the closest close-ups to the farthest far-aways, this one ranks top of my Tops list simply because when movie-going is this ethereal, you can't ever forget it.

2. Good Night, and Good Luck - I recently saw this masterpiece, and I knew exactly where it deserved to go on my Tops list for 2005. This brilliantly conceived drama manages to not only engage the audience in a well-paced plot, but it also manages to bring about a great message about the media's responsibility to its country. George Clooney uses tact and class to present this film, using beautiful black and white cinematography, and never using a sappy score to manipulate feelings. The moods, the emotions and the film in general are so genuine, because Clooney saves all of his musical cues (all of which as sung and played by the same jazz singer and her band) till after many of the most intense scenes. Brilliant portrayl of Edward R. Murrow by David Strathairn, with great performances by all of the supporting players, including Mr. Clooney. The films handling of McCarthyism should make it required viewing in all US History classes. But, even if you've graduated from high school, see this for the clear message it presents on the media. Amazing, amazing film, and one that is truly worthy of the number 2 spot here on my Tops list.

3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl will forever be my favorite children's author, and for good reason. His stories fit me like a glove, with his sly humor and the somewhat pessimistic resolutions. I loved the glorious colorful Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and I probably always will, but Tim Burton's much more accurate and engaging take on Dahl's most vibrant world takes the cake as the best adaptation of his books yet. Johnny Depp is perfect (yes, I said it), and every single line that shoots from his perfectly freaky (and toothy) mouth, is absolute genius. Freddie Highmore is great as Charlie, but still, this is Wonka's film (despite the title). I had such a splendid time watching this, that I just couldn't help myself. Giddy is a good word to describe my feelings after having seen this film. Yes, I said giddy...

4. Batman Begins - Batman reimagined makes a great meal. I loved every bleeding minute of this masterpiece, and it currently resides in the great trifecta of comic book films (Spider-man 2 and X-men 2 being its contemporaries). Christian Bale? Awesome...Morgan Freeman? Awesome...Michael Caine? Old, and awesome...Katie Holmes? I've seen better...In any case, solid solid solid acting on (almost) all counts, and the film's director deserves mucho kudos for simply crafting such a great world; Gotham never looked so decrepid, and yet so inviting...I cannot wait to take a ride in this universe again, especially if more Oscar winners get involved, cause frankly, they make a better movie.

5. King Kong - Perfectly executed old-school like spectacle. Reminiscent of the great films of Cecil B. DeMille, Victor Fleming, and David Lean, King Kong manages to capture that same sort of adventure story that has seemed to have all but disappeared in today's modern 100 minute "epics". Big and bombastic like The Ten Commandements and Gone with the Wind, "Kong" makes no apologizes for its lengthy run-time or its use of cheesy 30s dialogue...Instead, it pushes you slowly yet surely into a beautiful and unconvential love story, surrounded by swift moving (and simply breathtaking) action pieces that move the story along. The biggest surprise about King Kong is that it doesn't quite feel as long as it should, considering its length. Titanic certainly felt longer than this, as does Lawrence of Arabia, so many props must go to Peter Jackson for crafting such a well-paced film. Kong is a modern classic, one that won't be appreciated by as many as loved Gone with the Wind or even Titanic, but I loved it, nonetheless, and that's all that really matters...

6. Serenity - Yes, I know. It's not on the top of my list. Big deal. I had such a hard time deciding what was number 1, I feel as though these top 5 films are of equal importance. "Serenity" is by far the best sci-fi film of this year, and probably ever since Aliens, Whedon's 'verse is packed with fun characters, and engaging set pieces, combined with the best ending I've seen in years. Joss Whedon proved to me that the best writing takes risks, and doing what he did to the person he did it to (you don't want to be spoiled on this one) was one of the biggest (and best) shockers of the year, and frankly, it made the movie into a modern sci-fi classic/masterpiece. All in all, just a fun fun ride combined with one heck of an ending.

7. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Another solid adaptation of the Harry Potter franchise, and certainly the best so far. Keep this up, and Potter will be one of the greatest film franchises in history. Mike Newell crafts a great British boarding school dramedy mixed with all the great magic and action we expect from Potter. The PG-13 rating certainly helped to finally create the right mood that Rowling has been placing in her books since Book 1, and that's to be commended. The kids are getting better and better as their respective characters, and they all shine in their own special ways (that Hermione is gonna be hawt...when she's 18)...All in all, I loved every single minute of it, and I couldn't care less that many tiny and boring moments were left out. The book was great, but it was way too long for a film, and I think it was handled perfectly.

8. Crash - This film is on my Tops list because of the sheer shock factor it creates. The film is extremely exaggerated, but it all serves a purpose. Emotions are always worn on the outside of the characters, and at first, its off-putting, because they come across as whiny and often overly-observant, but it helps to not nit-pick individual scenes, but to watch the entire film as a whole. Crash to me was like a Masters Thesis, put into film form. It explores hot-button issues, but can't really offer real answers to the questions we want answered. What is racisim, and how do we eliminate something that every single person on the planet is guilty of in some form or another? That's what the film asks of us. Every character has a prejudice, from the Whites to the Blacks to the Hispanics to the Persians...No one is safe, and no one group is glorified or demonized. Its a film that demands self-reflection, and its a film that will definitely spark a lively debate among friends.

9. War of the Worlds - The use of the word "war" in the title certainly isn't only a reference to H.G. Wells novel of the same name, but in fact a description of how you will feel while watching this movie. The first 30 minutes feels like you are in the middle of a suburban war film, chuck full of high body counts and shaky camera moves (but all done very PG-13 like, you know...). Steven Spielberg succeeded, despite a terribly weak and contrived ending, to cause every limb in my body to shake, and I was constanly on the edge of my seat. What's sad, however, are the blatant expositional scenes, and the terribly cliché character played by Tim Robbins, but they don't detract all too much from everything else that's going on.. and that basement cat-and-mouse scene is Spielberg at his crafty best. Best seen in theaters, this film is in my Tops simply because it really freaked me out.

10. New York Doll - I loved this film. Touching, tender, and riotously funny, it's probably one of my favorite documentaries of all time. The story is truly inspiring, and its subject is incredibly fascinating. What could have been another Behind the Music, turns into a great film about hope, faith, and forgiveness, as well as being a great history of one of the greatest punk bands of the 70s. I had little knowledge of the Dolls, or of Arthur "Killer" Kane before seeing this film, but that didn't change how I felt. Learning about this band that had it all, but gave it up due to ridiculous pursuits was extremely fascinating to watch, and to see what comes of their much hyped reunion in London is very very fun. I can't praise this film enough. Its really only on the bottom of this list because I'm just too lazy to move it up higher, but this film really touched me more than I expected it to. See it as soon as you can. It's worth it.

Honorable Mentions: Brokeback Mountain, Munich, Chronicles of Narnia, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Red Eye, Sin City, The Interpreter, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Star Wars: Episode III

Still breathing...

I am, in fact, very much alive...Just too busy to post.
I'll try and be better later...
Hélas, hélas, les poètes disent...

ciao
parker

You can't take the sky from me...

For those of you, unfamiliar with the science fiction world, I sympathize with you. I too am one who couldn't care less about the Friday night line-up on the Sci-Fi Channel, or even whether or not Han shot first...This world is visited by myself once in a great while, simply because the lack of great sci-fi has been a problem since Return of the Jedi opened in 1983. Not since Lucas's grand and marvelous trilogy has sci-fi varied much from what Star Wars managed to create, and, as we all know, copy-cats are usually terrible. While the prequels to Lucas' trilogy have made more money at the box office than some of them deserve, they have been the best that sci-fi's had to offer, in terms of brave new worlds, and universes not quite like our own.
Twenty-two long years after Lucas closed up his original trilogy, we are given something that truly stands out above the rest. If there was ever a film that managed to capture that glory and awe that drove so many people to the theaters in 1977, this one's it. This one that I speak of is of course that of Serenity.
I'm guessing that the majority of you have neither heard of Serenity nor care to experience it due to what some percieved to be "Catwoman meets Spaceballs." While this comparision continues to perplex me greatly, I do not blame you for your inquisitve looks. This film was poorly advertised. Here's why:
Back in 2002, Joss Whedon, famed genre writer of such TV shows as "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" created what he hoped would be a western in space. While this idea wasn't all that original (Gene Roddenberry apparently pitched the original "Star Trek" as "Stagecoach in Space"), Joss intended to take that moniker a little bit more literally. He fashioned his world around the crew of a beat-up space freighter called Serenity, after the end of a great civil war between the great Alliance, and the Independents. This war, similar to that of our own Civil War was won by the Alliance, a parliamentary government that ruled the inner planets of a new-found solar system that humans have come to habitat, leaving the Independents (or "Browncoats") to occupy the outer planets, under the heavy and totalitarian rule of the Alliance. The ships crew was made up of 6 crew members: Captain Malcom "Mal" Reynolds, the leader of the crew, Zoe Washburn, the right-hand "wo"man of Mal, her husband, Hoban "Wash" Washburn, the ships pilot, the ships mechanic Kaylee, and the ships mercenary Jayne as well as 3 passengers: Shepard Book, a preacher of the Christian faith, Simon Tam, a doctor, his sister River Tam, a mysterious girl recently freed from "The Academy", a treacherous Alliance facility, and Inara, a "companion" (aka prostitute) and ambassador, who shuttles about the solar system, serviceing clients, and getting paid...And thus, "Firefly" was born.
Each person on the ship offers a unique perspective to the many situations that arise. The show was humorous and exciting, with great stories, but the stars of the show were the stars of the show; the great characterizations created by Whedon helped make each episode worth it, despite some stale storylines. The show managed to grab a small but loyal fanbase during its intial run on Fox, but Fox had little faith in it from the beginning. Firstly, they refused to air the two-hour pilot episode as the show's first episode, forcing Joss and Co. to create a secondary pilot, less rich in characterizations, and more on the action packed side (Fox was hot off the success of "24", and was seeking more of the same). Secondly, they aired the episodes shot out of order, for reasons that are still unknown to many. Thirdly, the shows were constantly being pre-empted due to baseball games, thus placing them in the wee hours of the night, or not at all. But still, despite this, critics and fans grew to love the show.
"Firefly" was canceled, 11 episodes into its run, with three unaired episodes plus the two-hour pilot still waiting to be seen. Joss grew upset, only because he'd never felt so close to a project, nor had he ever seen something come together and work so well in such a short period of time. He shopped the show around, being rejected by all, including the Sci-Fi Channel. But Joss wouldn't let go. The show was eventually released on DVD, and became an instant hit. Fans bought it for themselves, and for their friends and family. The DVDs managed to sell over 500,000 copies (and rising, to this day), something unheard of for a show of such humble origins. An exec at Universal took notice of the rabid fanbase. Herself, a fan of the show, took to show to her superiors, and thus, Serenity was born. Joss had his story back on track.
Production on the film went fine, and everything was going according to schedule, until the execs at Universal realized that the original April release date was too crowded, and that Serenity needed space to gain momentum. So, with the film mostly complete, Universal decided to try something different: They began advertising for preview screenings on fansites, in about 10 US cities. Within hours of this announcement, the screenings were sold-out. Fans gathered, and praised an unfinished version of the film. Again, Universal did another set of screenings, this time in more theaters...Again, it was a hit, selling out in minutes. Universal used this to their advantage. The trailers featured talk of a huge fanbase, of tons of buzz and barely even mentioned the plotline. The film was difficult to sell, granted, but even so...The ambiguous nature left many confused and uninterested...
Well, it's been 3 weeks now since Serenity was let loose on the public, and the reception has been mild at best. The film to this date has only managed to make $22 million. But, the point of my post is that this number should be higher. If all of you knew and understood how amazing and exciting Serenity is, you'd be out seeing it right now. You don't need to have seen even one episode of "Firefly" to appreciate the film. All the neccessary information is there for the taking. Serenity is an action movie at heart, with some great action scenes, loaded with humor, and with plenty of heart. I won't reveal the plot, simply because not knowing it will only make the experience more enjoyable. I promise you a rollicking good time. It's not anything like Spaceballs nor is it anywhere near Catwoman. The universe created is one that is unique yet familiar (no aliens in this one), and the characters are just so rich and deep, its very difficult not to love them.
Hear me out people. I wouldn't recommend you go and see crap. This one truly is special. If sci-fi's not your thing, oh well...This one may change your mind. If you're a die-hard sci-fi nut, yet think Serenity looks like a cheap imitation of "Cowboy Bebop" and Wing Commander, then you are so wrong.
The film is rapidly leaving theaters, and will lose even more next weekend (Oct. 21st), due to a crowded weekend. But, the DVD will be out soon (Dec. 2oth), and catching it there is just as awesome as catching it now. See it, enjoy it, and pass it on to a friend. This film needs to be seen! Usually we dread the thought of a sequel, but if this one makes enough, then a sequel we will get, and all those who've seen Serenity agree, this one begs for a sequel, and in only the best ways possible.
"Firefly" is the only sci-fi TV show I've ever loved. Serenity is the only film I've ever gotten behind to rally and convince people to go and see it. I had a marvelous time at each of the three times I saw it, and I know you will too. To paraphrase a friend, its magical movie experience. See it now, soon, or later, but see it nonetheless...

ciao
parker

The crowd hushes as he mounts the box...

I know. I stated earlier that I didn't want this blog to become a soapbox of sorts. So, in order to justify this post, I will rephrase what I said: I do not want this blog to become a political soapbox...Okay, there.
So, let me tell you all about a little show that I love. First off, let us imagine the best movie you've ever seen.
Can you see it? Good.
Now, this movie probably has deep characters, a great story, and a plot that keeps you into the story throughout, right?
Now, lets mess with this image a bit...what if this beloved movie of yours just happened to be 24 hours long? What if, each and every week for 24 weeks, you had the enormous pleasure of revisiting these characters, deepening the story, and consistantly being entertained? You'd tune in, right?
Well, sadly, you aren't.
No one really is.
This show does in fact exist, and it needs love.
It needs you.
Sadly, this world is governed by how successful you are, and not how good you are on the inside. Television shows like this go ignored often, for various reasons, but that doesn't make them any less than what they truly are.
Take "Firefly", a brilliant show, from the same mastermind behind "Buffy, The Vampire Slayer", Joss Whedon. This show was axed by the good folks at Fox (who, as it so happens have managed to kill more quality shows than any other network...But, in a sense, I can forgive them, cause they did bring back Family Guy), all too early into it's splendid run. The ratings sucked. Fox had no faith in the show. It got ignored. It got cancelled. But, as some of you may know, the story doesn't end there for "Firefly", because come September 30th, "Firefly" gets resurrected, in the form of Serenity. Be sure to check that out.
Anyway, sub-soapbox aside, television is a much more difficult wasteland for quality television. Even if a great movie doesn't do well at the Box Office, it'll still get awards. The same does not ring true for TV. If the show fails in the ratings, it won't get any recognition.
Every so often, you get a hit show, that's also very good, like "Lost" or "Gilmore Girls", but those shows don't need support. This one does.
So, without any further adieu, I present to you one of the best TV shows to come along in a quite a long time, and the BEST show, that you're not watching:

Veronica Mars

The inquisitive looks do not surprise me. This show, hands down, garnered the most critical praise this past season, even more than "Desperate Housewives" and "Lost." And, like those two shows, the critics didn't get it wrong with "Veronica Mars." The show is dripping with genius, from the amazing, amazing writing, to the inpeccably acted characters, this show can't help but be great.
I mean, look at this snippet of dialogue from the show:
"You want to know how I lost my virginity? Yeah, so do I."
The show, on the outside, looks like every other teenage/high school show to grace our sets. Sure, I thought the same thing too. While I love a good juicy episode of "The O.C.", it took a lot for me to get into that show. It's easy to pass quick judgement on the show. In fact, its very easy, cause it airs on the UPN. Yes, the same network that brought us such classic entertainment as "The Parkers", "The Mullets", and "Jake 2.0." It's a shame, honestly, to see such brilliant entertainment be put on a network who's biggest hit is "America's Next Top Model." But, that shouldn't keep us from tuning in. Besides, both Roswell and Buffy made UPN their home after the WB got tired of them. But, those shows aren't enough to get an audience to an unwatched network.The show on the inside is a smart, funny, touching, thrilling story of teenage life and how its full of triumphs and tragedies. If anything, this show is an allegory for what we all go through. Just watch it, and you'll see what I mean.
"Veronica Mars" concerns a teenage girl, who in the past year of her life, has had to do a lot more growing up than any normal 17-year old should: Her best friend, and sister to her boyfriend, was brutally murdered. Her mother abandoned her and her father. She believes she was raped after waking up after being drugged, with her underwear off. Her father, the town sheriff, becomes the laughing stock of the town (Neptune, CA) in which she lives, after pinning the murder on the parents of the murdered girl, and with that, Veronica loses all the friends she once had. But, for most teenage shows, this would lead to just one angsty episode after another, but this is where "Veronica Mars" is unique: her father is a private investigator, and in a sense, so is she. She takes it upon herself, after her father closes her friend's murder case to find out the truth herself. She doesn't believe the man currently sitting on death row for her friend's death really did it, and she sets out to find out who did. Veronica doesn't let her angst drive her to whine and complain about how miserable her life is...She's taking control of it, and for sure, she speaks to millions of people who feel they're so picked on, but continue to believe that for the rest of their lifes. This story makes up the entire arc of season 1, but there's more to it. Veronica begins to gain a reputation around Neptune High, where she attends, for her knack at solving cases, from petty to big...So, that's the first season. Each episode is a new case for Veronica to solve, and each one is as compelling as the last. Each episode contains a bit of the puzzle in solving the mystery of her friend. The mystery is resolved in the season finale, and is quite a nail-biter.
But yeah, I've gone on long enough, I believe. I hope this little preview is enough to get you all to check it out starting Wednesday, September 28th, at 9/8c. Sadly, for all of you Losties, this may prove difficult, but remember, its for predicaments like this that TiVo was invented. Or, if you're cheap like me, make a FauxVo, with your VCR, a cable splitter, and and extra cable...Just attach one cable end to your TV to watch Lost or Veronica, and then record the other using the other cable. It should work.
Oh, and by the bye, The Complete First Season of "Veronica Mars" will be available on DVD October 11...Pre-order it here.
Anyway, I'll leave it at that. Don't miss this one. Don't let more great TV be thrown away because we just don't know where to find it. We're constantly saying there's nothing good on TV, but I just think we just don't know where to look.

ciao
parker