Of Formalities...

Today I had an odd experience while buying some snacks at my university's commons area. I noticed while standing in line that the cashier who was checking people's items out kept calling her customers by name. I've seen this done before, mostly at a particular grocery store back home, but I never quite took to it. I dreaded the moment I got up to the line, knowing darn well that since I was paying with a debit card that she could steal a glance at my name on the card, and then proceed to mention it as I parted ways. I was not wrong in my assumption, and to be perfectly honest, it put a huge damper on the whole transaction.

In a perfect world, though, such niceties would be appreciated. We obviously live in an increasingly cynical world where people rarely make any sort of contact with one another on a regular basis, so wouldn't such a gesture indicate a glimmer of hope? Well, in this blogger's opinion, no. I'm all for being courteous at the checkout counter. I usually say "Hi" as I approach, and then when I leave, I usually respond to the cashier's "Have a good day" with an equally as sincere "You too." I'm completely comfortable with this sort of communication between the helper and the helped. I feel like the girl who checked me out (what a phrase) wasn't even remotely sincere in her declaration. Saying my name isn't going to keep me from buying my salted cashews and Snicker's bars elsewhere. Considering the gigantic monopoly my school has on food while I'm at work (as in, I can really only buy my break items there, so I really have no choice), I guarantee I'll be back to buy more junk food items.

I don't know. I sound jaded. My roommate will certainly tell you that I'm a curmudgeon for loving the notion of the "Metro Face" (the face that most Parisians carry about their person when riding on the Parisian subway system, or Le Métro, which is usually a look of deep Parisian melancholy, with eyes full of longing...It's actually very cool), because I've never been big on being conversational with strangers. He loves it, but that's a conversation for another time. I need to do a bit of research on this topic to really ascertain how others feel about it. I just found it creepy, plain and simple. As nice a thing she might have believed it to be, it really turned into something unbearable. I dreaded our transaction, because I knew it would involve a level of insincerity that I can barely handle.

Small talk has always been a beef of mine, which is why Metro Face is so entertaining for me. Small talk reeks of insincerity. We do it simply because social conventions require us to never let a silent moment pass between two people confined to a certain space. I can agree that awkward silences are just what they claim to be -- awkward, but that's no excuse for the fact that sometimes, we just don't need to connect. I've stated in previous posts just how much I love big cities, and the connection that is palpable, especially when riding on the local transit. Even when all of our faces are clearly in Metro Face mode, there is something going on that is unspoken, but is clearly at work between each and every person on that bus/subway/trolley. There's no need to speak, and the loud noises that whichever mode you are currently riding makes certainly don't allow for easy conversation. We are apart of a larger whole, and we get that, and its a beautiful thing. Why must we feign interest in someone else's existence in order to make ourselves feel better about a certain silence that really shouldn't bother anyone? It just feels ludicrous to me. I love talking to people. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to talk anyone's ear off who will listen, but I draw the line at strangers, especially strangers in passing.

I don't think I'm totally right on this matter. My roommate is perfectly happy talking to random people, and he loves having random people talking to him. I'm pretty convinced that he would love to have someone say his name at the checkout counter. Feel what you will, but I just might snap the next time I hear someone say my name while scanning food. But, not in a crazy way... I just might write another post... Heaven forbid...