Hotbox

How cheap and lazy must Disney/ABC be if their means of sending rejection letters is by email? This was my second Disney submission, but my first with Nickelodeon and WB. I expected much of the same that I got from Disney last year (cold silence during the selection, and then no actual communication until WAY after the obvious time period for selection had passed) but I was pleased to see Warner Bros. and Nickelodeon sending actual letters (Nick's even had a theme, complete with slime and everything)... And yet Disney, a company known for its whimsy and magic, can't seem to even muster up a nice letter. Here's what they send instead:

December 22, 2009

Dear Applicant:

Thank you for applying to the 2010 Disney ABC Writing Program.

The response to the program has surpassed our expectations and the quantity of worthy submissions has far exceeded the limited number of available positions. As a result, we sincerely regret we are unable to accept you into the 2010 Program.

Please note that none of the materials you submitted will be returned and that the terms of the submission agreement remain in effect.

We appreciate your interest and hope that you will apply again. We wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Disney ABC Writing Program

Why do I care? Well, because like most writers who submit, we all long for the day when we actually become something in the eyes of these folks, and to be able to look back at our rejection letters longingly is a moment we all hope to have. Yeah, I could print it, but really? Just not the same.

And before you lament my rejection, I've known this has been coming since November, so it's no surprise. Yes, it certainly would have been great, but to pin all my hopes on something that's equivalent to getting selected into the Top 16 for American Idol would be foolish. So I don't. I just keep writing. A new spec, this time. No specifics. It should be fun, though...

UPDATE!
Just as I was posting this, I got a "Recall" email, whatever that means. I can't send it back, Disney. That's not how it works. Email is forever. Deal with it. 
Lame.


ANOTHER UPDATE! (Wow...)
They sent another rejection email. Yeah, and the top of it said to disregard the previous rejection email... Why, because it was completely accurate? Yep. Nothing's changed. Thanks for rejecting me twice. Love ya too...

FingerTag

The Ciné is back! For now....

Festivus.

I need to vent. I've had this nagging pit in my stomach lately, and I haven't quite nailed the cause. Since, as they say, "'Tis the season for sharing", I'll start by airing a list of grievances:

*DISCLAIMER* No personal attacks intended. Seriously, anyone who reads this blog is already someone I like.

1. Being an open-minded person does not automatically make you better than everyone else. Why? Because until your "open-mind" can literally accept everyone (seriously, everyone), you'll never be anything more than a snot-nosed hypocrite.

2. Yeah, I do sometimes forget to treat women with gentlemanly respect (the "ladies first" kind of respect), but it's not like I intend to be rude.

3. If I want to go to law school, I shouldn't have to feel guilty about it.

4. The problem with moving up the ranks in Hollywood to get your big break as a writer is that you miss out on the kinds of experience that will enrich your writing. L.A. might be a big place, but it's got a one-track mind. No wonder, it seems, so many scripts are about bringing down "the man"; all y'all are writing about the S.O.B. agents/producers you worked for. It's great if you want to be in development or become an agent, but I just don't know how beneficial it is for ones writing...

5. I hate bacon. I really do. So, stop looking at me weird, or asking me why, or whatever else you intend to do. Bacon is not manna from the gods, nor is it God's gift to cooking. It's pig meat, and it tastes and smells disgusting.

6. We all need to stop using the word hate. Except with bacon.

7. While I adore The Soup, I can't help but think it's somehow complicit in the continuing destruction of television.

8. Coming out as a lesbian does not make you suddenly relevant after years of being a Lifetime movie star.

9. Someone seriously should be shot for wasting Elizabeth Mitchell and Alan Arkin's talent with The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.

10. Don't take advantage of me. No matter how well you know me, don't assume I'm okay with being walked on. Yes, I am traditionally a doormat and a pushover, but that doesn't mean I don't have an opinion about it. Be mindful of how you treat these sorts of people.

11. Big Love can suck it.

12. Just because your favorite indie band had a song on a commercial, doesn't mean they've sold out. Rockers got bills to pay too...

13. My tips for current television shows:
FlashForward - Cut the existential nonsense, and let's get on to the fun stuff.
Glee - Sectionals better mean the end of FauxBabyGate.
The Office - Fire them all.
Heroes - Kill them all.
V - Why'd you have to leave us so soon?
House - Really?! You fired Cameron?!
Modern Family - You are perfect.

14. It's okay to dream; just don't expect them to come true tomorrow.

15. Don't be a d*ck. If I write you something, write me back, and if I piss you off, tell me. There's nothing worse than assuming the worst and being completely wrong about it.

16. Never let friendship get in the way of filmmaking, and vice versa.

17. Love the skin your in.

18. This list is turning into less of a list of grievances, and more of a list of odds and ends.

19. What's the deal with airplane food!?

20. That wasn't funny.

21. I have screenplay ADD, and I've got a portfolio of half finished ideas to prove it.

22. If ScriptShadow is such a threat, why hasn't it been shut down? If it's doing serious damage to scripts in development, or even scripts looking for a deal, then it needs to be shut down. Until that happens, I'll gladly take what Carson gives. Why? Cuz I'm a naive amateur.
*UPDATE!* I found this great article by Craig Mazin at Artful Writer where he lays things out reasonably. I think for the time being, I'll let this thing play out, and not participate in ScriptShadow until things get worked out.

23. Having to pay for Xbox Live is ridiculous enough, but having to pay for clothes for your Avatar? Now that's just plain dumb.

24. I wish my cousins had taken our fish tank.

25. Max Hall is a douchebag.

26. Go Chargers!

27. The end.

Lesbian Yellow Sour Fruit

Here's a pick me up:

Fire and Nice

If you're wondering why I don't post much anymore, it's probably because I'm convinced that no one reads this thing anymore. It's the same reason why I just don't like Facebook much either, since everyone bailed as soon as their moms joined. Part of the fun of a blog is response and reaction to the things I write or say, and since I don't get much, it's hard to care.

This is not a chastisement. I'm pretty sure I don't get comments because there's no one to comment, not because my few readers are all android automatons with no opinions; I'm pretty sure that's already been decided...

But for the three of you still looking at this blog, here's some tiny bits of info. And for those of you who "just don't have the time" or "hate to type in my URL because I just don't want to add another bookmark to my bookmarks menu", please remember this is the year 2009, and that Google Reader exists to eliminate any and all unneccessary clicking and typing. (And yes, that was a chastisement).

UPDATE: It has occurred to be that Google Reader's inability to allow you to make comments whilst reading from their website, or from your iGoogle page could be another factor... If so, then you are forgiven. Kinda...

- I've been sick for the past two weeks with various ailments. First it was a cold/flu thing that was mild, but annoying. Then, this lovely lump decided to make a cameo on the back of my neck and pester me with irritable to the touch pain and an ever increasing sense of "oh crap! Everyone is looking at the lump on my neck!" I did the research, and it seems to be a lymph node, loaded with toxins. Correct me if I'm wrong, anyone with medical knowledge better than Google...

- Saw Where The Wild Things Are two weeks ago, and loved it. I've defended it adamantly from the many naysayers who proclaim it is too scary or too "out there" for children. Yeah, it's not an easy film, but neither is Bambi, or The Dark Crystal, or Babe: Pig in the City, or The Black Stallion, but all of those films are memorable childhood favorites, and I can't wait to share them with my children. We underestimate our children's ability to "get it", and while it is up to every parent to know what media their child is watching, I do think those who wrote the film off from frame one need to re-evaluate. I could go on, but I won't. Apparently, "it's just a stupid movie" (direct quote. To me. From someone I don't know. On Facebook. See why I hate it?)

- Also saw The Box. Another challenging film, but not super fantastic. It's got a Donnie Darko sensibility, but without a lot of the heart. The mystery of the film is almost imperceptible at first glance (or possibly the third or fourth), but like Darko, I think there's something there. The overall arc is easy enough to follow, so no complaints there: it's just the broader moments (and the most bizarre) that still haven't quite been cracked. Most people will hate it, so don't take this as a "you'll love it" kind of recommend; it asks a lot of its audience (a LOT), and it gives very little back in return, so keep that in mind. If you're familiar with Richard Kelly, you can stomach it. If not, skip it. Or see it on TNT.

- I could also talk about Paranormal Activity, but what else can I say? It's freaky. It makes you question your own sanity as you walk down the dark hall to your bedroom, and especially as you fall asleep. I would have loved for the film to stick to its "fly on the wall" camera for most of it, but I suppose that film wouldn't have made $90 million at the box office... And, it could have been boring...

- I think I'm gonna get married in 2010. I'm accepting any applications starting next Thursday.

- I've been working the SDSU football games again. This year, I hate it even more. It pays well, so I stick to it, but I just can't abide that lifestyle. TV Sport production is a lot of work for very little reward, and so I just can't care that much. I do enjoy sitting in the truck during games, but so far, I haven't done that this year. I dunno. It gets a big fat LAME-O from this guy...

- I don't hate movies anymore. How's that for change?

- I say this all the time, but I'm trying to do better at this writing thing. And when I say that, I mean actually having a writing plan and a schedule. It's not easy. I've never been one for schedules, so its a stretch to believe that I'll be able to follow one. But, I need to. It hasn't quite hit me yet, but I'm sure I'll realize just how important having a lot of scripts written is very soon.

- For those who didn't know, I wrote a 30 Rock spec this last year that managed to be somewhat successful at the WB Writer's Workshop competition/application (what do you call it?). They were pleased to inform me that my script was in the top 5% out of about 1400 scripts, which is pretty decent. It wasn't good enough for their finals, but when has that ever mattered, right?

- I have a headache right now. How's that for up-to-the-minute!? It's gettin' like Twitter up in here!

- Speaking of Twitter, I'm beginning to prefer it as my means of social networking. I'm @bacoby13, in case you care.

- Google Wave, when used properly, is every bit as awesome as it's been hyped up to be. A must use with friends, colleagues and writing partners. Thanks to Jessica Lindsey Kendrick for the invite, courtesy of her husband, Arthur.

- I'm applying to grad schools. I think. I'm almost convinced of this. I need to be more convinced of this, as most of the deadlines are December 1st. And no, it's not law school. If you can talk me down from this, go ahead. I'm very much on the fence.

Later, gator-haters.

Coal Digger

For anyone that cares, the two little doodles below this are just me trying to expand my creative outlets. They're not meant to be taken seriously, nor are they meant to be awesome in any way. Enjoy them if you must, but I'll post some more if you want.

My friend Spencer has started blogging about web comics and such, and I just started thinking about drawing more. I decided to try my hand at doing pen drawings (not my cup of tea), hence the sketchiness of it all, and the overall piss-poor quality. If I do more (past the two unfinished ones already drawn), they'll be pencil, and then inked for better quality. I just can't sacrifice something good simply because I'm putting restrictions on myself (Dogme 95, I hope you're listening)...

So yeah. That's the story.

Seacrest, out.

Baby Fish Mouth

At the behest of my amis de cinéma, Eric and Spencer, I'm going to do a quick overview of my favorite fall TV picks and what not. They limited theirs to quick reviews, and so I'll try and do the very same:

NEW SHOWS -

Modern Family - This is one of only two new shows I look forward to. The pilot had me almost on the floor laughing, and each episode since has been just as hilarious. And it has heart, which is crucial to a good, solid comedy.

Community - It's got Joel McHale, and it's wonderfully absurd. It too has heart, but it's a tad bit more cynical in its delivery, but I laugh consistently.

Glee - The music is fab-u-lous. The other bits? Not so much. Still, its appointment television (it's the other show I look forward to). I'm not a fan of the show's central conflicts, but it doesn't hurt the show too much.

The Good Wife - This show makes me want to be a lawyer. Not only are the cases compelling, but the central idea (disgraced politician's wife restarts her life as a junior associate in a law firm after her husband is sent to jail) drives the show to new heights. A must see.

FlashForward - I don't know about this one. I'm intrigued, for sure, but I don't ache for this show like I did for LOST in its first season. I think its still figuring itself out. My suggestion? Get David Goyer away from as many scripts as possible... And lets focus on less characters, please...

Cougar Town - I've only seen the pilot, and frankly, I was super creeped out. It got a full season pick-up so it must be doing well. I'll check it out once the back nine kick in. Here's hoping they remedy the creepy.

Cleveland Show - HATED the pilot. Haven't seen it since.

Eastwick - Desperate Housewives with magic. But boring magic. The guy playing the devil is good, but the women are dry stereotypes. Nothing exciting here.

RETURNING SHOWS -

Dollhouse - I'm officially bored with this show. After the supposedly game-changing "Epitaph One" episode, I expected a resurgence of energy in this show, but I see none of that. All we've gotten so far is Echo getting married, and nursing a baby. Uncool, Whedon... Uncool.

Grey's Anatomy - After an awkward season last year (but a pretty phenomenal finale), this show feels like it did in its second season. I hope it continues.

House - I like this show. It makes for a nice Monday eve.

Heroes - I broke up with this show after the abysmal season premiere. I did watch Bryan Fuller's recent (and well done) episode, so my interest is piqued as to where it's heading (quite the cliffhanger), but his departure still has me unsure.

The Office - This show is uneven for me. Season 2 is still where this show peaked. The Jim and Pam wedding was wonderful. I still enjoy it.

Parks and Recreation - I'm actually liking this more and more each week. I think they're hoping for a bit of The Office mixed with 30 Rock, as the show has become significantly more absurd. After the underwhelming first season, this is nice to see.

Fringe - I love this show. The mythology is fun, and its delightfully macabre. Yeah, it's not brilliant television, but I'm entertained, and I'm rarely bored.

Big Bang/HIMYM - Still great. Big Bang seems to get funnier each week.

The Wind in My Eye

LOST has a new ARG (Alternate Reality Game, for the uninitiated), and it's a weird one...

Each week or so, a new piece of art is revealed online, and available to buy, but the location of the website (its web address) is doled out through real-world clues and locations. It's kinda neat. Here are two of the very best (and subsequently very sold out) pieces of art:



You can find out more here:

Damon, Carlton and A Polar Bear

Idiot Control Now

I'm starting to not like watching movies.

Shocker, right? Here I am, a self-proclaimed film buff/lover/sycophant and I've suddenly lost my passion. It's sad, I know. About as sad as a clown losing his funny, or a lumberjack developing a chainsaw allergy.

I scroll my Netflix queues, and I find nothing that interests me. I know of three or four movies I'd like to see in theatres, but I'm too cheap to buy a ticket.

Movies have become disappointments. The critical darlings end up being too boring, obscure or inaccessible, and ultimately bring me down. The blockbusters get me going, but they're like a sugar rush: all energy, no nutrition. Occasionally (read: Rarely) I find a happy medium-- The Dark Knight, for instance, a film that floored me once and still floors me today. I continue to admire its pacing, its bravado, its audacity, and its depth. Rarely does something that pulpy become something that profound.

But most films are disappointments. Not in the "Oh, that wasn't what I expected" sort of way, but more in the "Oh, it's over, so now what" kind of way... I sense a deeper issue at hand, but let's not delve into that right now. Most of the time, I sense the futility of filmmaking when I watch a film. I see it as the short-lived box office success it will be, the millions of dollars on DVD it'll make, and the countless ads on TNT when it airs. Soon, any film I want to see will be reduced to something as common as reruns of Friends or Sex and the City. Ten years from now it'll be Bargain Bin fodder at Walmart and Blockbuster. So, why care? Why make the effort anymore?

I actually don't have an answer to that. You could flog reason after reason why movies are awesome my way, but believe me, I'm aware of them, so save your fingers the typing time and write something else. I'm just kinda pissed off. I'm tired of feeling this way about film. I'm tired of trying to find something that will enrich me AND entertain me, but that seems to be so impossible to find. Old movies, new movies, what have you. I feel like I've exhausted what's "Good" and all that's left is "Just Okay" or "Not a Chance". Or winners of the Palme d'Or...

The only solace I find is in television, where the game changes weekly, and the thrills are seemingly never ending. New shows every fall and returning shows refreshed with re-invigorated storylines and characters; a fresh start on familiar ground. It's exciting, and it's alive. I want to feel this for film again. I want to feel like cinema is this growing entity that is constantly getting better, as opposed to constantly proving me right. I don't feel like that. All I see is retread after retread, and all I feel is mixed emotions and loads of disappointment.

All in all, it sucks.

Sting, Debbie Reynolds and God...

This picture actually occured on my brother's Facebook Friends Suggestions page... Amazing...

Casen Face

- I'm writing this post from my email. I've been curious about this little feature for some time now, so here it is. I don't know about formatting, so this may look funky.

- My keyboard's been funky too. It was attacked by my nephew, and the spacebar got cracked (yo!). It now has a nice, hairline boo-boo going down the middle. It still works, but it makes a weird noise when I hit it. Also, and far more unexplainable, is my "j" key has become super duper sensitive. I touch it, barely, like this -- jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj -- and it just goes crazyjjjjjjjjjj. I noticed this yesterday when I was trying to type an email, and I kept typing superfluous j's everywhere... It confused me, and I jjjjjjjjjjjjj -- see! I just rested for like two seconds, on the the keys with the little nubbins on them, and it typed crazy j's! WHA!?!? Annoying.

- I've been playing more and more video games lately. Pathetic. I often convince myself that whenever I become addicted to anything, that Helen Mirren is also addicted to it. I can't help but think that she's not at all above those kind of things. Meryl Streep too. Is that weird?

- My over-a-year-in-the-works short film finally showed up in Provo this last week. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped. What did I learn? I'm not a sound mixer. That's all.

- Project Runway and Flipping Out are back on TV. Yeah, judge me all you want, but I can't resist those shows. They're among the three reality shows I watch (and I don't count anything on Food Network as reality), so don't get all feisty. Flipping Out is like a bad yet watchable sitcom, and Project Runway is like watching art students forced to make really cool art in 24 hours. Mad Men is also back. So all in all, pretty perfect, TV-wise.

- I had Kneaders in Utah, and it made me miss Provo food... Which trumps San Diego food, by the way. By far. It's probably the second thing I miss about Provo, the first thing being my friends and family. Sandwiches... *Drool*...

- This post is disappointing. I'm disappointed in it. My apologies.

Purity of Essence...

I think it's normal for film folk to question on a daily basis their career choices. We have picked something so chock full of uncertainty and without the promise of ANY career to speak of, so it's only natural, right?

Right now, at this moment in time, I hate film making. Right now, there is nothing more frustrating and maddening than the circus of inconsistency and mayhem that is film making. And, I think I hate it.

Details aren't important. They'd only do a disservice, actually. Suffice it to say, my choice of pursuing screenwriting must be kismet or written in the stars or whatever because I don't think I could have handled whoring myself out as a Set P.A., or making some bad Sundance hopeful thinking I'd hit it big with a seven-figure distribution deal with Fox Searchlight. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be happy believing my career as a director was meant to be, and "It'll happen!" being my mantra each and every time I wake up unemployed, poor and in the habit of dodging my landlord.

Anyway, I'm pissed. I'm tired. I'm being completely irrational. Who cares? Sure, screenwriting isn't any better, but at least I like it. At least I enjoy doing it, as opposed to the fallacy that is film making. Film making is like every bad group project you ever worked on in high school, where everyone acts all into it, but they really couldn't give a crap.

Or maybe that's not entirely true. My point is, I'm glad I know where I stand in the world of cinema. I'm glad I've figured this out now, and not later. Now, I can focus. I can breathe. But not yet. Not till after the 25th. Until then I hate film making, and all of its cousins and brothers and nephews. So until then, humor me, and don't write encouraging comments below...

Yours forever,
Habdash

A Look Into My Fridays...

A glimpse at things to come:

Single City...

I just couldn't take much more of that stretchy nonsense. It made my blog look gnarly, and I hate gnarly.

So, here's the vastly improved HadDash, complete with über-cool lowercase post titles, a little wider width, and a header that doesn't look like the picture ate the right portion of the border (yeah, you may have not noticed, but it was like nails on a chalkboard for me...)

I'd wager that the majority of you folks don't care, won't notice, or won't come back. That's fine. Whatever. Blogs are simply a means for vain people like myself to post things they think others will find fascinating. Whether or not people read them isn't much of a concern.

Yeah, not really...

It's not like I can magically produce twins and post adorable pictures of them... Or move to London, develop a totally legit swearing habit AND blog about raptors...

Or can I?

I'm pretty sure this was funnier in my head...

He Tinks He's A Whar-wulf...

Here's two bits of photographic awesome:

The Ocean Walker

Guess what?

I'm the guest writer for today (Friday) over at Daily Pre-Script-ion, a blog started by a few of my amigos, Spencer and Eric.








The blog is just like it says: two guys writing one page scripts everyday for a year, and they invited me to be their first guest writer. I feel honored. And touched. But mostly honored.

So, thank you Eric, for stroking my ego all the way up there in the San Fernando Valley... And thank you, Spencer, for not saying no when Eric asked me, because I know how much you despise me...........

I love you guys.

Enjoy.

Daily pre-Script-ion - Day Fourteen

P.S. - I'm towards the bottom of the page, but please read the others as well.

P.P.S. - You'll also notice that my script is longer than a page. That's because I broke the rules. But, that's what I am. A rule breaker. A rogue. Story of my life, right?

It's New To You...

We're no longer a fixed width blog here at the HabDash, so give me your thoughts on this new stretchy redesign...

gracias...

pm/pm...

For the past little bit, the convenience store chain, am/pm has had the slogan, "Too Much Good Stuff". Recently, I saw an ad of theirs that stated quite clearly that "You Can Never Have Too Much Good Stuff."

So...

- If am/pm is Too Much Good Stuff,
- And their current ads dictate that You can never have too much good stuff,
- Then doesn't that logically indicate that You can never have am/pm?

Ergo...
am/pm,
You've just been proof'd...