Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Juno32 Is A D-Bag

It's pathetic enough that I watch as much television as I do, but in my "line of work", I feel its incredibly important to know your field backwards and forwards, and since I aspire to work in television, I figure I, well, need to know it. In my effort to "Better Know The Biz" as it might be said, I always try and watch the best television has to offer. Sometimes its absolute garbage not worth my time (Entourage, being a prime example) but most of the time it's every bit as good as the critics (and viewers) say it is.

Case in point: Breaking Bad

Yes, he is often without pants, if that's what gets you goin' in the mornin'...

This is a new show for me, despite being into its second season. I gave the show a shot last year, but I couldn't get into its dark tone at the time, for whatever reason. I wanted to like it, and the reviews indicated that it's awesome, but I just couldn't do it. With the start of the second season, AMC aired a marathon of the first season's seven episodes, so, in all earnestness, I TiVo'd the marathon. And so, guess what? I love it. I'm six episodes in, and it's unbelievable how good this show is.

Brief summary: Bryan Cranston (who won an Emmy last year for this role, but is best known as the the Dad on Malcolm in the Middle, or as Dr. Whatley, the Jewish convert dentist from Seinfeld) plays a chemistry teacher who, upon learning he has stage 3A lung cancer, decides to take up "cooking" and dealing crystal meth, in order to provide for his family (a pregnant wife and a teenage son with cerebral palsy) after he departs this mortal coil.

What makes this show so wonderful are the performances, particularly with Cranston. He knocks it out of the park on a minute by minute basis, adding extensive amounts of weight to an incredibly complex character. The supporting cast shines as well, particularly Cranston's washed-out partner, Jesse (played by Aaron Paul), who has gone from a burned out junkie in the pilot, to a rather complex young man, who I've actually begun to sympathize with. I could go on, really, but I won't (for your sake). But, I will say that if you're up for it, check out the first season on DVD.

And so, violent television programs aside, here are some baby pictures (since they seem to get me a lot of comments):





cheers!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Birthday Lasagna


This is what I look like Wednesdays at 9pm when LOST is nothing but a rerun...

Looks like I won't be watching anything...

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Diaper Chicken


Yes.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Desolation Row

Watchmen
Sex, Masks, Rock n' Roll
Slo-mo bullets, blue phallus
A bit too faithful

Sunday, March 01, 2009

I'm Just Sayin'...







Sorry, couldn't help myself. Just finished Season 2, and still think the season's final image is just bloody fantastic. On to Season 3! I'm starting to piece some things together, which is cool. I recommend all Lostphiles do the same. Don't do it all in one go; one or two episodes a week will probably suffice.

Man, this show is good. If you're not watching, hit yourselves a few times, get a Netflix account, and catch up, for cryin' out loud. It's just that cool.

cheers, Brutha...

Friday, February 27, 2009

Cocoa for Cuckoo Poops...

C - Danny Boyle, for being able to go from a zombie thriller, to a sci-fi chiller to an Academy Award. This author may be slightly disenchanted with the Oscars as of late, but kudos to you for staying true to yourself, and not making bait year in and year out - Stephen Daldry, I'm looking right in your direction....
L - Cox Arena at San Diego State University...
O - A ticket to the midnight showing of Watchmen: The IMAX Experience...
S - Sleepless nights, digging deeper into what exactly is 'funny'...
A - Verbally attacking Sean Penn's Oscar love-in... No one makes me feel bad for being straight, and gets away with it...
T - When life shoots you a t-shirt through a t-shirt cannon, push down everyone around you, because that shirt is sooooo worth it...

Tid Bits Today:

- I've noticed lately that I'm obsessive about being liked by everyone. The thought of someone not liking me drives me mad. I can't pinpoint the issue here, but I'm trying to remedy it. But please, don't hate me for it...

- Sean Penn noted that there were anti-gay protesters at the Oscar's Sunday night. How much you wanna bet none of them were Mormon? Yeah, sorry to disappoint you, Hollywood...

- I keep seeing this image of Harrison Ford, buttoning up his shirt, and looking straight into the camera, while I'm fast forwarding through commercials. It usually occurs right before the show is about to recommence, and I've never seen any product, or cause or anything to accompany this image. Any help on this would be great.

- Am I the only one sick of those High Fructose Corn Syrup commercials? The one thing they forget to tell you during their humorous approach to nutritional ignorance is that sugar is pretty bad for you. It's worse than fat. So, saying that HFCS has the same nutritional value as sugar is like saying cigarettes are as healthy as cigars. Yeah, pretty stupid.

- Have any of you tried the Perfect Pushup contraption? They're pretty fantastic. I've been doing it for two weeks now, and I feel a HUGE difference. There's a consistent burn every time I work out, and I'm sore more often, which is always a good sign.
I recommend them highly. Best $30 I've spent in a while.

- I haven't seen a movie in theaters in quite some time. The last one I saw was probably Benjamin Button, and that was in December. Makes me miss $5.50 matinees...

- I've kept the last six episodes of 30 Rock on my TiVo. I don't have the heart to delete them. But I know, someday, I'll be faced with some sort of Sophie's Choice scenario, and I'll have to delete a few to make way for the LOST season finale.

- Speaking of LOST, this past weeks was interesting. I don't understand how the writer's could have felt this episode would have been best aired before "316". I'm glad ABC intervened, because that would have confused even the fans. Although, the reveal of Locke, alive on the beach would have been pretty cool. Too bad ABC had to go and spoil that in the previews...

- P.S. - I'm rooting for Widmore...

- I finally watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and I've been wondering: what ever happened to Phoebe Cates? She was a babe, and then Drop Dead Fred happened, and she seemingly vanished. What's the deal, Phebes? Oh, and if you haven't seen Fast Times, don't. It's a lot more crass than I would have liked.
UPDATE: She married Kevin Kline and made babies. Her last film was in 2001... Hrrmmm....

- Andy Richter is rejoining Conan on his new show. Huzzah! The Late Night gods have proven their kindness with such a noble deed. Well done, good sirs!

- I'm kinda ashamed to admit that I'm excited for Portia de Rossi's new show Better Off Ted.

- Dollhouse, the new Joss Whedon, is actually pretty good so far. It's still finding its footing, but I'm hooked.

- Other good shows?
Flight of the Conchords - Michel Gondry directs! Kristen Wiig and Jim Gaffigan!
United States of Tara - The fourth episode was a nice change in pace, and it's kept that up ever since.
Damages - Soooo good this season...
Battlestar Galactica - Number 7!? Who is Daniel? I need to know!!!

- BYU sports fans are annoying.

cheers!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Hey Brutha...

Sorry folks, but this is another post about LOST...

I rewatched the previous episode, and something crossed my mind:

A lot has been made of the fact that Ben was at a marina, wet and covered in blood while he was on the phone with Jack. Most people have speculated that this is because he either killed, or tried to kill Penny, Desmond and/or Charlie (their baby, not the already dead rocker/ex-Hobbit). Their reasoning for this is that the Humes have a boat that they sail around to places far and wide. But, I must ask: How long does it actually take to get from London to Los Angeles BY BOAT!?!? Sorry, but they're not at the marina, unless they just can't seem to get away from the salty air and the harbor chicks. It is possible that the writers had a seriously lapse in judgment in regards to time and space (which wouldn't surprise me, given this season), but unless that is the case, it is nigh unto impossible for Penny, Desmond and Baby Charlie to have made it to Los Angeles by boat in the time presented us.*

How 'bout that!?

Side Note: My local ABC affiliate has begun airing LOST repeats on Saturday and Sunday evenings in High Definition, which is rad, and I've begun watching them. They're at the end of Season 2 now, and it's pretty great to see where they show was, and how much things have changed.

*All of this is accompanied with the assumption that Desmonds realization of his memory of Daniel is happening in temporal conjunction with Jack and Ben's quest to return to the Island. I can only assume that's the case, since there's no indication otherwise.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Doubting Thomas

MORE LOST SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED:

Strangely enough, I thought LOST was a little off it's game this week. This past episode just didn't "do it" for me, as the show normally does, and I think it has to do with the weak storytelling going on off the island, and it's a shame I didn't realize it until now.

On the island, it's answers, answers, answers, with some cool reveals, and some interesting (not redundant) questions asked. But, off the island? No dramatic tension. I think the best way for us to have seen the off island stuff played out, was to have seen them all get back to the island at the beginning of the season, and then, through flashbacks, shown us how we got to that point (both on and off). This way, we would have seen them on the island, working things out, and slowly coming to understand how they got there, à la season one. It was pretty clear at the end of season 4 that no one wanted to return, except Jack, so why drive this point into the ground with whiny characters? The audience knows they need to go back, especially since we're watching our on island characters suffer time flashes, migraines, nosebleeds and even death... So to see most of the Oceanic 6 so callously say "I'm never going back, even if it can help them" makes them (Sayid, Kate, Hurley and Sun) rather unsympathetic.

Also, while it's nice to have them back on the island, didn't it feel sorta rushed? Didn't it feel as if we missed something crucial, and now we have to see what happened in flashback? I don't know if I'm down with that.

My guess about how things panned out? The writer's probably felt the same things I felt; the characters were whiny, and they needed to just get back to the island, no questions asked, and we'll get to the details of it all later. I've trusted Team Darlton (Damon Lindelof, and Carlton Cuse, the show-runners) for 4 seasons now, so I'm up for some more. I still love where the show is headed with our Losties seemingly stuck in the 70s, posing as Dharma members, but the ride there seemed a tad bit bumpy.

The last podcast that Darlton put on noted that this episode (entitled 316) and next weeks episode, entitled The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham, were actually meant to be shown in reverse order, and that they could have been shown in any order, with no real issues, but the writer's felt this one was the best to show first, for whatever reason. This makes me more and more curious about what is to come next week, and if it'll make this past week's episode better. Who knows. All I know right now is that this episode left me feeling empty. Cool ideas, interesting information about the island, but overall, no narrative thrust worth investing in. I dunno.

So yeah, I just needed to vent that, since I gushed so lovingly about the show not a few days ago. So quickly things can change. I still think this season is an intriguing shift in the show's mythology, really giving it all to us in one go. I don't know if it'll be successful, but it certainly should leave a good chunk of the show left for some juicy character moments, and not a lot of mythology, which has never been the show's strength (just the carrot at the end of the character stick)... So for now, here's to better shows, and satisfying conclusions!

cheers, and Namaste...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

It Walked On My Pillow

I hate to get even more esoteric on you folks, but I figured some of my fezellas needed (or wanted) to see this. It's apparently made the rounds in L.A. faster than film catches fire (which is very fast, in case you care), so if you've seen it already, well, then, you can just suck it, and watch it again:

Hollywood ASST
(WARNING: This video contains some PG-13 language, if not a few words that could make it R. You've been warned.)

Side Note: If you're not at all interested in breaking into the film industry, you can skip this, and not miss a thing. I kid you not, this is full of inside references galore, most of which I missed, so I don't think you'll get much out of it if you care less about the industry than I do...

My thoughts? I feel more depressed about L.A. than I did before I watched it. Reality is harsh, but this is just frustrating. With the job market in a slump, on top of the already impossible task of nailing an assistants gig, this just makes me see that there's very little to hope for if one aspires to rise through the ranks. *le sigh* Call it a part of the "game" industry folk must play, or whatever, but that won't change my feelings. It's why I can't watch Entourage without getting a migraine and a peptic ulcer....

*bah*... humbug.....

cheers, remorsefully...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Colin Firth's Sweaters

I don't know what's wrong with me right now, but I'm in the mood to blog. About nothing.

I'm actually in the midst of indulging rather shamelessly in the much-hyped Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice cross-over event. It's pretty compelling, being full of brain worms, mothers with PPD and the occasional heart-to-heart regarding one's love life. I was sad to see Melissa George leave the show for good. Oh well. And, side note: Kate Walsh is hot. Here's a photo of both:

     

I've made it a point to stop using my laptop in front of the TV, but recent events have caused it to travel from its usual spot in my sister's old bedroom into our family room. You see, I have a tendency to oftentimes pay more attention to the inactivity on my Facebook page rather than the exploits of say, Jack Bauer or even Ugly Betty (in her case, wacky exploits). I also tend to forget to zip through commercials, which is what has actually just happened (Immediacy!). Man, this laptop is no good for my TV viewing.... I moved it up to my sister's old room because it's generally pretty clean since it became our go-to guest bedroom (and we generally don't get a lot of guests), and it really helps to keep my mind clear while I try to write (emphasis on try). Also, her bed is about a thousand times more comfortable than any other chair/couch/bed/table in the house, so yeah, it's a nice place to try and work (again, mind your emphasis). My grandma is now asleep in there, so that's why my laptop is here, watching Grey's Anatomy.

My brother was here this weekend so he could see Casen (our new nephew). We had a good time, even though we had what felt like 24 hours to be with each other. Now he's back in the land of 185 and three-minute final projects. It's exciting to see him going through the program. I can only hope that he gets a little more out of it than I did. Don't get me wrong, I loved my time there, but there are still kinks, and unfortunately those kinks are making themselves manifest more and more in my post-college life as opposed to while I was in it. I won't get into the details about the kinks, because I'm sure they're incidental only to me and maybe a few others, and it's not fair to share wounds like that. I have to believe that those things are being worked on, and that my brother, and other film majors, will be able to benefit from them.

In other news: I have a hard time believing that Will.I.Am is anywhere near as prolific or as brilliant as Bob Dylan. And Pepsi is the last person that should to try and convince me of that.

D'ah! Once again, I forgot to fast forward.

I'm in the process of reading through Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics. It's pretty cool. It's like film theory, but for comic books. I'm not a heavy reader of said genre of novel, but I've always enjoyed reading them casually. But, even without a huge love for comic books, there are some fascinating observations about art, and how we perceive the visual image, which I think is indispensable for anyone interested in tapping into ANY visual medium. Film is similar to comics, in that it's a series of juxtaposed "shots", where the audience is encouraged to connect the dots between them, but each medium has a different language through which it conveys meaning. But, like Latin languages, they have many traits in common. I could go on, but why should I, when Mr. McCloud does a much better job... Seriously, film folks, it's a rad book. Check it out if you can. (Link takes you to Amazon)...

It's been raining like crazy here. It's stopped for now, but I suspect (according to my iGoogle app) that it'll start up again tomorrow.

So, how about LOST this season?



SPOILER ALERT!

This time travel thing has been both maddening, as well as brilliant. It's provided the show's writers with a way to show us in the present tense the history of the island, without using character flashbacks. It's constructed fabulously, and it's been used rather skillfully to help ratchet up the tension, and move the storytelling forward. I'm happy that the show has continued to feel fresh these past two seasons. Most shows in their fifth seasons feel like they've run their course, and viewers usually can predict their way through each episode's arc with no problems whatsoever. However, LOST has been one surprise after another, both on an episode by episode basis, but also with each season. And that's what good TV is about. Surprises. The uniqueness of the medium of episodic television should allow showrunners to surprise viewers and have them wonder. But, it seems that most shows are content to repeat their past successes, and that just makes me sad.

END SPOILERS

This episode of Grey's/Private Practice is coming to a close. It actually turned out to be pretty positive, not to spoil anything. I wish both shows could consistently be as entertaining as these were. My theory? Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh) should have never left Grey's Anatomy. She's unbelievably charismatic and endearing in her role, but only when she's surrounded by the folks at Seattle Grace. Sorry to editorialize about a show probably none of you watch, but there it is.

Alright, time to fly. It's late, and I'm tired. I might pop in a movie. That should be fun. Tomorrow I may be heading to my sister's place, so I'll probably get some writing done down there. I need to nip this writer's block in the bud. I blame our newly remodeled bathroom which occupied both my mental and physical real estate for a good two weeks. Now that it's done, I need to hunker down and write. A writing frenzy. Frenzied writing. 

I wish you all the best.

cheers.

---
Le château de ma mère (My Mother's Castle)

Sequel to "La gloire"
Amusing, touching, profound
Wonderfully sweet.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Jenna DeCarlo and the Polyphonic Spree

This video came to mind as I was walking down the stairs today... I cannot think of a single moment from a Beatles film that gives me more euphoric joy than this one, save for that moment where George falls in A Hard Day's Night...



I also LOVE these end credits (they begin at about a minute in, but watch it all, and catch John Lennon being called a swine... Priceless):



30 Rock Trivia!

- Didja know that The Girlie Show was originally titled "Friday Night Bits?"
- Also, Jenna Maroney's original name was Jenna DeCarlo...

Also:
If you have a facebook account (and I know you do), please help support this film:



Become a "fan" by clicking here. This is a grassroots effort to get this film the release it deserves. Even if you haven't seen the film, please, become a fan. This is one of those films that if you see it, you never forget it. I know I haven't.

There are clips on the page, so check those out. Also, you can head here as well:

mr. dungbeetle Official Website

Promotion!

cheers...

Friday, February 06, 2009

Sabor de Soledad

Didja Know...

- Liz Lemon was originally called "Lisa Lemon" in a very early draft of the 30 Rock pilot? And Tracy Jordan was known as "Lawrence Jordan"... True story...



cheers!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Girls With Low Self-Esteem

I caught this today while reading one of my movie news blogs I Watch Stuff:




These (and more) are all courtesy of an artist who goes by the name Spacesick, né Mitch Ansara. He also has a flickr account, but beware: it contains a few nude artists renderings, mostly of women. You've been warned. Check out his blog for some safer, more entertaining fare.

But, I must say, are these not the coolest things you've seen today? I used to be an avid novelization reader (mostly of films my parents wouldn't let me see... For some reason they were okay with me reading inappropriate movies...), and I think I would have tried to keep them around, had they looked this awesome. But they didn't.

cheers!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Bananas and Nuts

I was so proud of myself for spawning something I believed to be wholly unique within my realm of understanding when I decided to write movie reviews in the form of Japanese haiku. Well, another aspiring TV writer has done the same thing. I like hers better:

Amanda, the Aspiring TV Writer

And, just to make it clear, this has not deterred me from moving forward with future haiku poetry. Trust me, it's too much fun to give up now.

cheers.

Friday, January 30, 2009

I Want To Go To There...

It's about 1:15 in the morning. I just sat through an entire episode of Leno (I know), along with the most recent episode of Ace of Cakes. I wasn't super tired, so I hopped on my white stallion, and moseyed on over to my own blog(?). Jenna Fischer was on Leno, which is why I watched it (my crush on her isn't quite up to Level Tina, but it's close). Ace of Cakes is my newest reality addiction, because it's all about cakes, and I love cake, and so, well, yeah... If my reasons for liking it aren't clear after that, then you're just too retarded to even get my explaining it.

But, I'm getting tired. Part of the reason to write this nonsensical post was to create some fatigue so that I don't lie awake thinking about my stupid 30 Rock spec that I can't get through, or the ten billion other ideas I can't write, or whether Obama's daughters are allowed into the Lincoln Bedroom for slumber parties...

I'm now more tired than I was. Slowly, I'll get there. Hopefully not to the point where I'm asleep on my keyboard, typing out the letters J K and L over and over again... That would be silly, and uncomfortable.

Does anyone read this blog? I guess that's a worthy question to ask at 1:22 am. Will anyone read this? I know about three people who will most certainly read this, and that's cool, but not... Any suggestions on how to make this blog more accessible to outsiders would be nice. Esoteric is fun, you know, while riding the tram to The Getty, or when you're in a parked car outside Diane Keaton's manse, but on a blog, it becomes like an e-Party that no one got an e-Vite to...

So, in conclusion, as I become dangerously close to tipping over sideways, keep up the good work. This is simply a very broad announcement to all of those people doing good work out there. They know who they are, and they should also be reminded to walk proudly. I don't know. Should I just stop? This is getting stupid, I'm sure. Like, why the freak isn't he writing about a movie or something. Do you really want that? I can write about tons of movies, and I can wax philosophic and theoretical, and drop names like Baudry and Daniel Dayan, but why? No one cares. No one reads this blog, and I'm pretty sure those who read this blog and know what the freak I'm talking about, theory-wise, would much prefer to never speak of such things again, am I right?!?

So, in conclusion, there is no conclusion, other than me, asleep, and you, going about your day as if nothing happened here. Well, something did happen, and whether you like it or not, it's gonna keep happening. So, bring your friends, some cold ones, and a story or two, and maybe we'll have a bonfire of good ideas.

cheers, mates.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Belinda Carlisle Does Not Have A Friend In Dorothy

C - Rochelle the Ellenburg, for keepin' it hot, keepin' it poppin', and keepin' it real throughout all regions of the Left Coast. Peace in the Middle East!
L - Arianna Huffington's apartment, where she is, in fact, rather dull.
O - Barack Obama's BlackBerry - Does he have ScarJo's number?
S - Fighting desperately for creative air as I try to expand my oeuvre and write for a change...
A - Watching a hat get stolen...
T - It ain't easy being white, it ain't easy bein' brown...

This is my 100th post. It's not much, but I'm sure it'll do for the time being. No celebration, no countdown lists... No, I'm much more of a non-traditionalist. There are several reasons why, but mostly it's because I'm sure you don't care. Pat me on the back, sure, congratulate me on continuing to whither away in the Blog-O-Sphere, if you want, but at the end of the day, you'll fall asleep soundly, not even once remembering the fond day you had a this blog, celebrating my 100th Noniversary. Trust me, it's better off this way...

Saw Juno again. I big "Hrrmmm" came out of my mouth while I watched and as I pondered it's realms of complexity. I've decided that the film's backlash is only half-deserved. Juno is a character most adults should despise. She's arrogant, self-obsessed, and exactly like we were at 16. Her hipster speak is a sad attempt at adult-talk, and it comes off as phony and forced. She lives in a musical era when she was not even a glimmer in her parents eyes, and boldly declares anything from her own time period as unbearable. Her connection with Mark isn't unlike Leah (her friends) connection with Keith, the geometry teacher: a sad attempt to age faster than we should. Basically, the point of Juno, for me now, is the notion that forcing adulthood is unbecoming. Stay a child for as long as you can get away with it. It suggests that the greatest type of immaturity is the immaturity derived from feigned maturity. An interesting character foil for Juno is Mark... Mark and Juno share a lot in common, as they both seek the same point of time in their respective time-lines, only from opposite directions. It's why it's so critical that it be Mark who bursts Juno's bubble of fun. Mark even says "I thought we wanted the same things" - Juno doesn't want the same things; she only believes that she does. Most teenager want to be adults. When you're 15, you want to be 16, so you can drive, or date or stay out later. At 16, we want to be 17 so we can see R-rated movies. At 17, we want to be 18, so we can finally declare our freedom from our teenage years. It doesn't stop. Not until we hit 21. That's when our adolescence officially ends its term in office, and we're finally able to pretty much do whatever we want. But what do we have to look forward to? Graduate school? Adulthood is alive and well, and all we want is to be a kid again. So why rush it? And that's the point of Juno. Here we have a kid, convinced of her own superiority, who is taken down a peg, and told to be a kid for 5 more years. That's all. It's not about pregnancy, or kitschy catch-phrases, or even love. It's about youth, and the dangers of getting a taste of adulthood much sooner than needed. This isn't an "End of the Innocence" film. In fact, it's a bold declaration that while innocence may be lost, it doesn't mean it can't be reborn. Juno undoubtedly grows, but this change doesn't cause her to be responsible, like taking on a secretarial position at some legal eagle office in order to save up for college. No, Juno decides to spend her summer jamming with Paulie Bleeker. Is that irresponsible? Yeah, I would say so, and I think most adults would agree, but that's no reason to hate on her. Let her be a kid for pity's sake. Let her guitar be her guide. Is it so wrong to have a film's final lesson be - "Well, adulthood sucks, so take a back seat and enjoy the ride until you actually have to drive" - I don't think it is. Different strokes for different folks...

Those are just my observations. I took a leave of absence in regards to any future viewings of this film a year ago, hence my return to discussing it. It's Oscar season again, and I've seen many folks bringing this film up, for whatever reason, mostly to throw stones in it's direction. That's fair, as jealously often bears an ugly mug, but I can't help but love this film. It's deeply flawed, but for a first time effort from a young screenwriter, it's beautifully adept at saying something most people, I don't think, didn't even want to see. Did Diablo deserve the Oscar? I dunno. I don't even remember what else was nominated, to be honest. Does it matter, you know, in the long run? The Grand Scheme of Things? --- Not a chance...

Finally, I am in awe of the folks at 30 Rock. No joke, these ladies and fezellas can really knock one out of the park on almost every pitch. I would say it's not fair, and wonder why such talent cannot be FedEx'd my way every third Sunday, but I have to remind myself: At least I get to watch it. Will I ever be able to write comedy like that? I sure hope so, but I think the 13 year long wait may prove difficult...

Cheers, my loves...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Mr. Manager



Am I the only one who thinks Michael Cera has let "things" go to his head? While I'm sure he's mostly joking, part of me thinks he's deadly serious. Hypothetical, yes, in the sense that nothing's concrete, but when you have a development deal in place, the writer/director working on the script, and all the cast but one committed to returning, I'd hardly call that "hypothetical." Yeah, it won't happen tomorrow, but surely by the end of this year.

Sorry, George Michael, but you're coming off as kind of a d-bag. Quit tokin' it up with Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan and remember where you came from.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Traveling Sisterhood of the Pants

C - Carrie Hakes. I don't think I've featured her yet here, but she's one of my most favorite people. And her alter ego, The Bear, has to be one of the best things on this planet, I kid you not. Miss you, Bear...
L - A desolate Earth, ravaged by nuclear war, full of CYLON skeletons?!? Say wha?!
O - Mad Men on Blu-ray. Now the best show on TV is in HD. Boo ya...
S - Watching, and rewatching (on a loop, mind you) the genius that is Episode 210 from 30 Rock... Keep an eye on Tracy Morgan during the episode's climactic musical number... A-mazing...
A - Pole dancing on the tram to The Getty.
T - When life hands you lemons, throw 'em out and find an edible fruit...

I officially have a new Favorite Thing (along with sweater capes, naturally): my week-old nephew, Casen. He's finally home from the NICU, and he's as sleepy as ever, which makes him slightly boring, but strangely fascinating. He hasn't quite figured his body out, so he maneuvers awkwardly, hands everywhere (including his signature "Push up my gigantic cheeks" move. Killer), and he does this all whilst sleeping rather soundly. It's even entertaining to see him make his "Yep, I'm pooping" face. I even find his cry entertaining; he quivers his bottom lip when he gets really into, which is both sad, and rather awesome. Thankfully, his cry is about as cute as they come, never getting louder than average adult conversation volume, so it's not much of a bother. Overall, I give him two thumbs up; one thumbs up for utter adorable-ness (an important attribute for a one-week old, a breed most often plagued by under-developed features, and a penchant for the mundane), and the other thumb for compatibility with me, his soon to be most spoilish of uncles. He doesn't pitch a fit when I hold him. Instead he sighs and whimpers, and then proceeds to poo on me pants (true story). The funny thing is, I didn't change my pants after it happened... *sigh*.... It must be love.

In other news, I put immense strain on my groin muscles whilst trying to engage my flabby doughboy exterior in some intense rigeur. I can barely stand, let alone put my pants on ('twas quite the treat this morning...) So, for the next couple of days, I'll probably walk like an 80 year old man with bad knees and a replaced hip, all in the name of chiseled abs and winning biceps.

I'm getting into my writing. I have three major projects I'm currently engaged in, and all of them excite me terribly. I received this wonderful writing guide from Eric A., a Blog-O-Friend, and it's worked wonders for my lazy tendencies, helping me to jump the hump, as they say, and get into it, and by it, I mean imagining my movies in my head. I'd say that's the biggest hurdle writer's have to escape: we have movies, books, plays, etc. playing in our head almost all the time, and they're wonderful, as they are usually the ideal versions of our own ideas. But, we're selfish creatures, so we horde them for ourselves until we funnel them through our laptops, hoping they come out looking at least a fifth like our Ideal. But, this is where writer's block sets in-- the moment we realize it was better left in our brains... It's a humbling experience to see your half-assed (sorry, but there's no other word for it...) idea coming to pathetic life in your Final Draft document, knowing darn well that this draft you're sweating over will never see the light of day, nor should it. It's maddening, and you have to be completely mental to want to do this for a living. Awesome, but still mental...

So, now that I've insulted both myself and my friends, I bid you adieu for the time being. 24 is paused right now on my TiVo, and it's time I took a look-see at this new season. Apparently it's supposed to be good, but I have yet to see that come to fruition... But, holy cow was Battlestar good last night. Yowza...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Movies I Liked That You Might Like Too, Vol 1

Man On Wire -
Frenchman on wire
World Trade Center towers
Compelling AND true.


Frost/Nixon -
Watergate Scandal
Nixon on "trial" with Frost
Great performances.

The Wrestler -
Old wrestler loses
He's too sick to wrestle now
Beautiful story.


La gloire de mon père (My Father's Glory) -
Childhood antics
Beautiful southern France
Humor? Pathos? Yes.

Toss Toss, No Hands

Here's the Wordle for this blog.



Ain't it grand? Make your own at www.wordle.net, which is where I got this photo...

Corky and the Sperm Whale

C - Casen James Rogers, the brand-spankin' newest member of our family...
L - The curb outside Diane Keaton's house... We all know what happened next...
O - A check for A MILLION DOLLARS!
S - Auditioning for Pepperdine Law School by wowing the admissions folks with one's rendition of "Defying Gravity" from Broadway's Wicked
A - Pretending to write that check for A MILLION DOLLARS!
T - It's important to always be easy. Easy like Sunday morning. *

Hey folks, blog-o-friends and strangers alike. It's been quite a journey since we last shared company on this blog, and since so much has happened, I feel it best to disperse the awesome over a couple of entries.

First off, I got to spend all of last week in Thousand Oaks, with amigos galore, doing Wicked awesome things, and exploring the sights and sounds of UCLA, Loyola Law School, Pepperdine and Western State Law School, among other things (right Corky!?!?!?!?). It was truly a wonderful vay-cay, as TAMN would put it. But before I gush further, I need to really stop and thank the Fudges (all of them, feti included), for their thoughtful hospitality. Secondly, but not really secondly because it means that much to me, I want to thank all of those who put up with my man stank on all of those car rides around L.A.. I was privileged enough to be surrounded by beautiful and well-groomed young ladies, so I was good, but I can only imagine the disgust of others once they realized I would be sitting in the middle seat. So, to Rochelle, Carrie, Johanna and Tash: I used Old Spice, and sometimes, it doesn't rub on right... Blame Procter and Gamble...
No really, I want to thank them for being the best gal pals a single fella like myself could muster up. I sometimes feel like they deserve a better friend than myself, so it pleases me often to hear them laugh at my awful jokes and generally make me feel good about myself in this rather unsettling circus of self-doubt that is my life. Even if we (I'm speaking to them now, so if you're not one of them, read on ahead or stick around... It could get weepy, so just a heads up....)had just sat around the Fudges, drinking Mango nectar and replaying "Midnight Train to Georgia" and "Bulging River" over and over again, that week would have been complete just to have spent time with you four lovely ladies. And you too Leland, even though the daily grind was calling your name, you were there in spirit... And also, your seed was firmly planted in Tash's womb (two times over, no less), so it wasn't hard for us to forget you...

So, inside jokes aside, thank you. I'll post pics up soon.

In other news, I'm officially an uncle.

Casen James Rogers, born 09 January, 2009. He looks just like my brother in law, in case anyone is curious. He's currently trapped in the NICU while he fights an infection, but he should be out in a few. Today he had some mild jaundice, so he was under this super blue light. He had to wear these horribly awesome goggles that made him look like he was lounging, rather than being generally miserable (I imagine) from being away from his parents for hours at a time. I've been down to see him three times now, and he gets cuter each time. Yay! Babies! Now I need one of my own..............

Hrrrmmm.... What else....

Oh! Okay, so I'd never seriously endorse a reality show (save for Project Runway), but a friend of my family is currently on The Biggest Loser. His name is Blaine (no joke, my inside friends. How 'bout that!? I'm so meta!). He went to school with my sister (he's just a year older), and we've known his parents, and his younger siblings for years. Anyway, this is the first time I've known anyone who has been on a reality show, and I must say it alters your investment significantly. While I can't count him among my friends, and I guarantee you he may not remember me all that well, it still makes the experience of watching the show all the more entertaining. Anyway, the show's on on Tuesdays at 8 on NBC, so have a look-see, and say hello to Blaine, a guy I kinda know... Woo hoo!

That's it for now. Pics to come. Either here or on Facebook. Probably on Facebook. Yeah. So, not here. Facebook...

*Sorry for the inside jokes. I just can't help myself (HA!!!! I STRIKE AGAIN!!!!!!)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Femident...

It is truly a day for rejoicing when the Conchords are back in business, so we must thusly begin our hymns of praise by partaking of the wonders below:

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Cornelius Bonham-Carter Fudge

C - Benjamin Bratt. He once dated Julia Roberts, and used to be on Law & Order (the Order part), and once starred in Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock(s). He's quite a hoot, isn't he...
L - A ranch-style home, nestled in the southeastern corner of Ventura County, in a small hamlet known as Thous And Oaks...
O - A piece of CBS College Sports swag, ruthlessly acquired, but deeply adored...
S - Running on empty... Running long...
A - Waking up before 8 for the first time in months...
T - Happiness is a warm gun... Yes it is...

Here's a list for us all to consider:

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The Soup
Iron Chef America
Saturday Night Live: The Best of Cheri O'Teri
Harold and Maude
Hot Fuzz
Together Again for the First Time
Pride & Prejudice (BBC)
Australia
Top Chef New York
Presumed Innocent
Arrested Development
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)


For those of you who love this list as much as I do, and long for similar lists, I miss you, and I'm glad everything was awesome.

For those of you who know this list, but didn't participate in it, I miss you too, and hope to see you soon.

For those of you who have no clue what this list is, I might miss you, but I hope that you too will know a list like this, and love it as I have come to love it.

And for those of you who think I'm a loon, such a sentiment is pretty five years ago, so build a time machine, and go join that pity party, cause it's missing you...

Good day.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

There's A Girl In My Soup!

I think this also qualifies as a geekgasm. Joy Joy Joy! With more and more important players coming to the table confirming that this is happening, I can't help but wish Fandango took advanced ticket orders for movies that haven't even gone into pre-production yet... Shame on them, because that's probably a very lucrative market...

Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.

Geekgasm Defined:
EDIT: The video was removed. Check it out here

Quicktime is required...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I Was Being Eloquent!

Another question for my Blog-o-Friends:

Why is it that when I watch The Soup, I become insanely jealous of Joel McHale? 

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Waving Boldly, In the Corrupt Sands of Commerce...

C - Three people today: Johanna McCuen, my brother Ryan, and an old friend from a bygone era, Gus Bryant. Each one of these folks has had some significant impact on my life, and each one of them, amazingly enough, share a birthday this November 4th. Pretty awesome. Happy Birthday to them!
L - Qualcomm Stadium
O - A parabolic microphone, pointed towards Chuck Long, coach of the SDSU Aztecs... He likes to swear... I pity the poor people of Idaho who may had heard him the one time I had it pointed his way...
S - Almost getting hit by a cheerleader doing a backflip while I wrangled cable. Seriously, they need to be better at checking behind them...
A - Getting excited for football... This is highly unusual for me
T - Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty...

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do, and so today I started listing them. Here's a bit of that list:

I want to play jazz piano like Vince Guaraldi, Brad Mehldau, Eldar Djangirov and my friend Randy Peck.

I want to learn the cello, along with the viola and the violin.

I want to write a screenplay that becomes a cult classic.

I want to have a baby, and soon.

I want to live in NYC for at least a year.

I want to drive a hybrid car.

I want to be able to write like Billy Wilder.

I want to be in the chorus of some hit Broadway show, for at least one night.

I want to be an essayist for some respected newspaper or magazine.

I want to be taken seriously.

I want my films to take place in Chicago, because I love that city.

I want to go to bed late, and wake up early.

I want to get married.

I want to finish Nowhere Man.

I want a Blu-ray player so I can watch The Dark Knight in all its HD glory (and Speed Racer).

I want my friends back ( I miss you guys).

I want to appreciate old classic films again.

I want to be that guy that everyone looks up to.

I want my Masters, but I don't want to pay for it.

I want to write for a successful television show.

I want to executive produce a successful television show.

I want to have the world at my fingertips, and then turn it all away, just because I can...

I'm sure that's not all I want, but that's all I could think of. *Sigh*. Hopefully, with this list in mind, my future will be brighter than it appears at this moment.

Cheers to the Future!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Thither. Mischance. Felicity.

In an effort to make my film watching more legit and academic, I've started a film journal. For now, it's on the blog, but I may move it to paper if updating the blog becomes a hassle. It's a simple way for me to record each film I see, when I see it, and where, and also a little bit of what I thought. We'll see how this works out. You can read it if you want. There's only one entry so far...

habdashcine.blogspot.com

Readers, Dad... They're Called Readers...

I dunno how this is possible. I felt okay about the post below, but not great. I felt like I'd intellectualized the world to pieces, making it all seem so sour and full of angry, angry puss (the pimply kind, not the blister kind), that I felt vindicated and above all "correct" (look at me! A hypocrite, I say), and then I get a nice burst of wonderful, courtesy of a friend's wife and her blog that I kinda sorta stalk (he, my friend, rarely writes on it, and I don't really know his wife too well, so it's mildly awkward to reference her blog, and the fact that I read it, here, but it did quite a number on me...).

While I can spout all kinds of philosophies and ideals and how I feel the world cannot simply be run on the choices of fallible humans, I should never forget the wonderful-ness humanity can bring when channeled in the proper direction. I think that's why politics really infuriate me; not because of their freedom-imposing choices, but because of their hateful speeches and the dirty tactics often employed in order to push one's agenda to the forefront. It all seems so slimey and forced, as opposed to honest and truthful. But, in spite of it all, I believe that no matter what freedoms are destroyed, humanity will always be able to find joy.

Life sucks. It's pretty much as cut and dried as that, but it cannot suck the entire life out of what we have come to enjoy. In pursuing our own self-interests, we have the right to find happiness and joy, and hopefully we can all be altruistic human beings, and make our own joy the joy of others as well. There are many people out there who make it their mission to serve those around them, and to make the lives of others great, while at the same time finding joy in their service. I know I have never served someone without feeling unbelievably good about it. Selfless service, it seems, is the answer to humanity's woes. A society based on service and overall caring of one another is one I can attach myself to.

So, read the below post with caution. I'm trying to answer some questions that I feel are still relatively unanswered in my own life in regards to my understanding of the world outside of my own belief system, and so it rambles, side-tracks and probably confuses more than anything. Just know this: it's more of an attempt at understanding than a soap-box.

That's all....

Oh, and P.S. - Life is Beautiful. Of that I am most assuredly sure...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Bouquets of Sharpened Pencils...

C - Kelly Clarkson. I don't know why, but she popped into my head. Maybe it's her panache for stylish pop/rock attire, or her cute accent, coupled with a raspy bedtime voice that makes Kathleen Turner nervous... Whatever it is, she's managed to make it to my head, and considering the barren womb that has been these past few furlongs, that's quite the feat.
L - 19th Century England, specifically in Northamshirington....
O - A pair of ruddy sunglasses. Blimey!
S - The Luddite movement. You know, something relevant for today...
A - Taking half an UltraDorm, and not waking up with the slightest hangover.
T - I tried to have cybersex once, but I kept getting a busy signal...

Pardon my CLOSAT... It's a bit on the fritz. I've found that my ability to wax witty has been diminished by about 5/11ths since I've been hammering away at the abode of my fore-bearers... I blame the coconut oil.

Still, lately I've found little reason to actually be witty. The world seems to be falling into a state of utter insanity, and we're all left to try and make sense of it all. It's a shame Lion-O isn't around when you need him.... You know, to kick some Deceptecon butt, and take some surnames.

I've grown increasingly impatient with television lately. It seems one cannot escape political ads of all varieties. They all spout their jargon, their beliefs, and always accompanied by somber music. No longer are we looking to the future with hope and sobriety; instead its all about fear tactics and shame spirals. "How can we make Judge Soandso Johnson look more awful today, Mr. Senatorman? Oh, I found this awesome music loop in Soundtrack today. It should scare even the most liberal of Republicrats!" What makes this all the more pathetic and sad is how much the American man (and woman) gets off on this. Americans love a battle, whether it be civil or foreign. Our own political fervor seems to be the root of our inevitable downfall as a country. No longer are we being asked to compromise for the good of a whole; instead we must battle it out, name call, throw stones, mud, thumbtacks and the occasional horseshoe all in the name of Democracy, or rather, our own political party. Our bi-partisan system works because there are always (seriously, always) two sides to every issue. Always. While we could get all Biblical and call one side good and the other evil, we'd ultimately realize the greyness of it all.

I remember reading an article about Atheism where the professed Atheists denounced God fearing believers as "evil". My mind was blown, as I was astounded that someone who didn't believe in God (and naturally, his lovely nemesis) would use a decidedly religious word. It made me realize that to him, Christians, Muslims, etc were "evil", or the opposite of "good", a relative "good" and a relative "evil". So, even in the debate between Good and Evil there are two sides. This man believes ever so strongly that Christians are awful people who deserve no rights, because they bomb things and put chrome fish on their cars, while any Christian would tell you that this man's influence on the world is also "evil". So, who's evil? Are we all evil, both the believers and those who do not? This is that grey area, the area where subjectivity is king.

The problem with politics is that subjectivity rules, and objectivity is impossible. We all believe something. We all feel one way or another about something. Does that make either one of us evil? By the above definition, yes. We're all evil people, because there is inevitably someone out there who despises the very idea of our existence. That someone is also a voter, a passionate person, represented by a council man or congressman, and their vote is what seems to decide who and what is deemed "evil". That's the problem with politics, and it's why I shy away from it in all regards: it places labels on people who simply are expressing their right to believe in something, and ultimately to choose. It doesn't make them evil, or awful, or stupid to believe that stem cell research should move forward, or that gay's should have the right to marry. That's their belief. That's their understanding of their world that surrounds them. It's subjective, and that subjectivity, on both sides of the political arena, is what is bringing down our country, and making it into quite the mess.

I've recently been incredibly interested in the philosophies of Ayn Rand (pronounced Eye-n, for those curious... I know I was...), the renowned developer of Objectivism. Most of this interest was stemmed from a rather fantastic video game (of all places) entitled BioshockThe game features the exploits of a man named Andrew Ryan, who has come to foster Ms. Rand's belief that man's own happiness is gained through the pursuit of their own self-interests. He creates this underwater city called Rapture, where he houses the greatest minds of the world, in order to establish a higher order. These great thinkers would in turn pursue their own careers with great fervor, hopefully spawning a utopia of perfect ideals and perfect people. Of course, all of this goes down the tubes, once the self-interests of these great minds begin to clash, creating a rather disastrous dystopia, filled with genetically enhanced citizens, brainwashed little girls called Little Sisters, and their deadly bodyguards called Big Daddies. It's all very dramatic and nice, but at the heart of it is this idea of choice, and the difference between being a slave and being free. Agency and the ability to choose is something I hold so dear to me I can't even begin to express it. It is the greatest thing we have in our lives, and anything that takes away our ability to choose is morally wrong (see, there's that subjectivity again... It's quite a beast.... Quite a human beast...). We are endowed with the wonderful ability to be agents unto ourselves; to act as we see fit in a world lacking in answers by the millions. We're all trying to make sense of something we may never fully comprehend, and it creates a lot of confusion. With this agency comes choice, and with that choice comes consequences, and those consequences often destroy the agency of others. So, how can anyone who so adamant about choice be so against the idea of politics, an establishment that lives and dies by the "choices" of others. Well, to put it simply, because by encouraging the choices of others, I no longer feel free.

In the game, you play as a man who has been denied choice. He is a killing machine, responding to the voice of his "master", who repeats the phrase "Would You Kindly" over and over again, in order to move his slave forward. As the game progresses, you learn how it was only through the choices of others, namely Andrew Ryan and Frank Fontaine, another pivotal character in the game, that led the Hero to this point of complete slavery. The conflicting self-interests of these two great minds led to the slavery of hundreds of people, including the main character. How can that be a wonderful thing? This game seems to be a cautionary tale, as most dystopian stories tend to be, but the parallel's to our own world are impeccable. The choices of the older generation could very well make slaves of their progeny. Slaves not to a human master, but slaves to ideals they can no longer choose whether to accept or deny. No compromise seems possible in the cases of human choice, because it is our right and privilege to live as we will, and choose as we will. But, in a society where the choices of so few affect the freedom of so many, how can we continue to believe in the idea that we cannot choose compromise? Is that choice beyond our understanding? Is it a choice that impedes on our own beliefs? Maybe. And some would say that compromise is the seed of Communism, and that's a fair statement, but really? No qualified precedent has been set when it comes to worthwhile communism, so it's impossible to really say anything like that.

EDIT: One thing to note about Bioshock is that ultimately, the message is of hope (well, depending on certain choices that you are capable of making). Throughout the game, you are required to kill the Big Daddies, in order to get to the Little Sisters. Why? You could leave the Big Daddies alone, because they only harm you if you attack them, but because of what these Little Sisters are capable of. They contain within them an element called Adam, which allows the bearer of this element the ability to genetically modify themselves. When you rescue a Little Sister from a Big Daddy, you are given a choice, a very clear choice: you can either Harvest the Little Sister for all of her Adam (which equals a lot of precious Adam), or you can Save them (which gives you some Adam, but not a lot). You are encouraged to save them by another character pivotal to the game's story, Dr. Tenenbaum, and she rewards you for making the correct choice. And so does that game. By choosing to save every Little Sister, you in return are rewarded with the true ending to the game, which is a positive one, and a hopeful one. Why do I mention this? Well, because it emphasizes the fact that in spite of our own slavery in regards to the choices of our fore-bearers, we are still free to choose to make the next generation free. These Little Sisters are indeed young girls, slaves to a system. But you can free them, and let them live a normal life outside the corrupt walls of Rapture. This, I suppose, is the reason for our political system: to allow many to choose to make our future generations capable of living as free a life as is humanly possible.

So, I don't know. I'm rambling. I'm usually one to not take a stance on politics publicly, but this recent election season has made me afraid of the choices that will affect my freedoms. However, I simply cannot believe that even my choices are for the good of anyone, including myself. I make stupid mistakes everyday, some of which I regret more than others, so who am I to make choices like this? I'm as fallible as the next guy, incapable of choosing which show to watch on a Thursday night, or which fast food restaurant to clog my arteries with.... I'm not fit to choose the freedoms of others. I'm not fit to know what's best for everyone. What I do know is that I cannot stand by a system that places freedom in human hands, for man has historically been incapable of keeping freedoms free. We pursue our self-interests with a fury like no other, and we knock down several people on our way. I'm not ready to my faith in that system. I'm not ready to be a part of that.

And so, I'll leave you with that, Blog-O-Friends. Choice. Consequences. Freedoms. Quite the philosophical mess....

- Side Question for Thought - If subjectivity rules our own perception of reality, then wouldn't certain freedoms also be considered subjective? I'll let you discuss that one yourself, as I'm sure it's a doozy...

**Blog posting has been paid for by The Irresponsible Voters of America**

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Chills, Glorious Chills...

Do not watch if you're not caught up with LOST. However, if you are, watch... Enjoy... Bask in the awesome that'll be season 5.



Thursday, October 16, 2008

Awesome...

Take a look at this, (and this, and this, and this ...)and then tell me Mr. Abrams doesn't know what he's doing....

*If you can't tell, I'm pretty darn stoked for this movie, and I can only be even more so, thanks to these pretty fantabulous photograficos...

Monday, September 29, 2008

The Return

Thanks to Spencer's blog, and John August and several other unknown people, I now have a new and improved Scrippets to try out...
Here it goes.


INT. DISCOTHEQUE - NIGHT

Hogarth, a frail man in his 20s enters the neon lit floor of the discotheque. Surrounding him are fools and tramps, each dancing more atrociously and vivaciously than the next. Hogarth stands, anxious. He spies a beautiful woman across the room, hair feathered to perfection, platforms 9 and 3/4 inches tall. He approaches.

HOGARTH
I want you to know how beautiful you look this evening.

WOMAN
(Russian accent)
Thank you. I cherish your compliments, tiny man.

Hogarth blushes.

WOMAN
Would you like to dance?

Hogarth stands, silent, thinking. Then, he pounces, grabbing her neck, and pulling her head towards his lips. Awkwardly, he kisses her eye, snatching off her fake eyelashes.

The woman, shocked, stares back at Hogarth, Then she pounces, grabbing him by his long hair, and kissing him square on the mouth. It was love.



Let's see if this worked...

Nice....

Monday, September 22, 2008

It Hurts When I Smile...

I tend to steer clear of reviewing films here (I'm not a fan of placing any sort of rating on a film. Either I like it, or I don't. No stars, thumbs, or letters for me), but I want to give this particular film a push, since it performed pretty terribly this past weekend, and it's not because it's a bad film:



The previews can't sell the humor of this film. If any of you have seen either The Office (BBC edition) or Extras, you'll understand the humor of Ricky Gervais and why it's all about the moment, and that's not easy to sell in montage form, no matter what Beatles song you put under it. I mean, this is the man who originated Michael Scott*, and helped to redefine awkward in comedy, so you can expect much of the same in this film. Gervais plays charming and slimy like the best of 'em, and he does it in spades in this film. Yes, it's a romantic comedy, but it's of the best kind. Yes, the story smells (okay, reeks) of films like The Sixth Sense, Ghost, or even Topper, but as Carl Jung would say, they are simply a part of a similar consciousness... Overall, it's a fantastically funny film, with a winning cast and some nice moments of genuine sentiment (it had me, and I'm not an easy get). I want it to do better this next weekend, even though, realistically, it won't. But, even if it continues to flop at the box office, at least you'll have seen a good film, and in the broad scheme of things, the film got made, and it made me and possibly you happy, so job (well) done; Mission: Accomplished.

*Yes, technically, he didn't, but any discerning viewer would say that he and David Brent (Gervais' role) were cut from the same cloth, and since Ricky did it first, well, you get the point...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Honest to Blog...

Here's why* I love Diablo Cody so much. I've mentioned her several times, mostly in passing, but I've come to respect her rise to the top as being genuine and rather entertaining. Most people seem to have a problem with her quick rise to fame, but I see it as a wonderful Cinderella story with a stripper twist. She's big. Steven Spielberg's working with her big, and apparently, many people have a problem with that. So, here's her response to the nay-sayers, and frankly I have to applaud her for this. The blog world is one that I've been incredibly critical of ever since I joined my first forum and felt the fire from raging lunatics bent on proving to me why the Xbox was better than a Gamecube, or why Empire of the Sun is Spielberg's most childish filmmaking effort; I've had my fair share of mud slung (is that right? slung, sling, slinged....) in my direction, so I feel her pain (in a very tiny, "I'm not an Oscar winner" way). I've been a huge advocate of her's since I saw Juno back in December of last year, because I recognized something incredibly rare in her script, and in the film: raw talent. Yeah, the film was plagued with hipster slang, and the usual glut of indie comedy quirkiness, but I just adored it for being the debut screenplay that it was. It's always fun for me to see someone like her make it big.

I remember watching the special features on Romancing the Stone (its good, so yeah, whatever), and there was a feature specifically dedicated to the film's screenwriter, Diane Thomas. Stone was her first produced screenplay as well, and it was absolutely genre-defining (romantic-comedy-adventures were not that common), and it brought her tons of success. Sadly, she passed away in a car accident before her career could really take off, but that's not the point: she created something special her first time out, and that's commendable.

The same goes for Ms. Cody. She proved that you didn't need a film degree to make a great script. I envy that. I'm honest with myself when it comes to my ability as a writer; I'm not that good. I try to be, every time I open Final Draft and begin something, but what I've been able to accomplish has been through tons of classes, and long, hard workshopping sessions. I do not believe I have all of the talent she possesses, and I'm okay with that. But to be so viciously jealous of that to the point of empty hatred strikes me as absurd and rather 3rd Grade. She's got talent. Deal with it. And that's why I love this post. It shows that she can mingle words together to create something that very effectively brings down those who seek to gain "stature" by bringing her down. She's honest about her success. She's honest about Juno's success, and she doesn't care what you have to say. Well, she does, or else she wouldn't say it, but in all honesty, that's what I love about her. She still blogs. She still posts regularly on her Twitter. She still goes on ridiculously awesome 5-day roller coaster vacations with regular people, none of whom subscribe to Variety.

She's a woman after my own heart. And while I'll never be a stripper (Hot Cops!), or a phone sex operator, I will hopefully be a screenwriter. She's proof that talent outshines anything else in this biz, no matter what people say. You see it time and time again. I hope I have talent. People tell me I do, and that's nice and all, but I still don't buy it. I struggle everyday to put words on the page, and make something of my free-time, and part of that has to do with my fears that this business can ruin even the best. I watch shows like "Entourage" and "The Comeback" (Lisa Kudrow, 2005... IMDb it) and I wonder how anyone can manage to live in LA and not want to completely lose their mind. But, the only thing that gets me by, and the small glimmer of hope I have for this industry lies in people like Diablo. Hate her style, hate her films, or whatever, but admire her tenacity. Give credit where credit is due: she's a published writer and a produced screenwriter, and while same may say it fell in her lap, well, they just weren't paying attention. She's got it. And by it, I mean talent... Really...

*WARNING: Diablo's language is EXTREMELY colorful, and probably offensive to a lot of people. You've been warned. If you aren't super offended by language, scroll down a bit past the roller coaster picture and start with the paragraph beginning "I am not Charlie Kaufman..." Again, you've been warned... In fact, don't read this... It's a bit much... I shouldn't even read it. I'll summarize for the class:
Diablo hates haters. She's successful, so deal with it. Try her job for a day, and then tell me if you like it... All in all, it's not easy, and she's good at what she does. Hate Juno, hate her, but respect the talent... The End... There.... No vulgarity, no worries! 

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Scripts-Mini


INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY


Charlie, a man in his mid thirties, walks in casually through the door. He stops short of the counter, and looks straight into the eyes of the cashier.

CHARLIE

What's up, sweet cheeks. I see your hair line fracture has healed rather nicely since the last time we spoke.


His manner is crass and vulgar.




This was a test of the Scrippet plug-in developed by John August and Friends. It doesn't quite work as nicely as it does on his site, but oh well...

WWLDD?*

If you haven't seen this already, then shame on you, because it's quite possibly the funniest thing SNL has created since D**k in a Box (or that Surprise Party sketch, but anything with Kristen Wiig is bound to be a cut above):



See? I guess I'm not the only one who saw the connection... And if her miming the shotgun isn't enough to just love Ms. Fey all over the place, then I don't know what is.

Tell me if this is sad or not: I watched a re-run of 30 Rock last week, and seriously just smiled the whole way through. Naturally, I laughed a lot, but man I just can't get enough of her! Seeing her next to Amy Poehler was a treat, and I hope so desperately that she continues to do Gov. Palin well into the election...


*Look to the right...

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Get Rid of the Seaward...

So, I headed out to West Beverly Hills High today for the first time in over 10 years... It was glossy, musically hip, and appropriately teen-friendly, which means it is exactly what I should not be watching.

Buuuut...

There is one good reason to watch:


My dear Lucille... or Jessica Walter, for purists.

Now, it's important, if you are going to watch the show for her, that you have some sort of DVR set-up, whether that's a TiVo of some FauxVo from your local cable or satellite carrier. The reason for this is because, in all honesty, the only good scenes are those that feature Lucille (Tabitha in this case), and so it is extremely necessary (please note the extreme nature of this warning) that you fast-forward through the dreck that is 90210: The New Class (not the real title, just my harsh, judging title for the show, which references another beloved teen show that went awry with fresh blood).

For those returning to West Beverly (like myself), you can stop on the scenes that feature Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty or that dude from the Peach Pit, but really, there's not much else to see or care about.

Keep in mind that while Ms. Walter does indeed channel Lucille Bluth in her portrayl of drunk 70s movie star Tabitha Mills, her character is extremely one-note, and incredibly flat (at least in the pilot). Still, it's pretty amusing to see our favorite matriarch portraying someone else for a change, even if the performance varies little... I'm all for her continuing to please AD fans by giving us a new weekly dose, so bring it on... Here's hoping she gets more to do... but I find that highly unlikely, considering the 2 hour premiere already felt over-crowded and weighed down by shallow attempts at nostalgia. The show's about the teens, and it will always be about them... Whatever, I say, but I'm not this show's demo at all, so I'll just shut my mouth, grab my TiVo remote, and enjoy what little is left of the Bluths on television.



**For those of you who are completely confused, this post in in reference to the new 90210 show, which premiered this past week on The CW. Next time, come to class prepared... I don't want to have to explain myself all the time...**

Friday, September 05, 2008

I Wish I Could Draw Her Nose...

I figured someone would have to come around and poop on the party, but I never thought it'd be George Michael...

Read it and taste the sad...

Thursday, September 04, 2008

You Stay Classy...

C - Sarah Palin... not because I may or may not vote for her and John McCain this November, or because she's the GOP's answer to Hilary Clinton (?) and Obama's ability to capture the coveted 18-49 demographic, but because she looks like Tina Fey... Yeah, I'm that superficial...
Honorable mention goes to Paul Rudd. Why? Cause he's just cool...

L - Rancho Peñasquitos, or The Ranch of the Little Rocks in Espanol. It's my new home, and also my prison. Interpret that as you will. Shouldn't be too hard.
O - My TiVo. I'm rekindling my love for it, especially while using my parent's awful DVR from Time Warner Cable.
S - Embracing unemployment by doing absolutely nothing...
A - Finally finishing the first disc of Alias Season 4. Not super great, but Kelly Macdonald guested, and it was magically delicious...
T - Don't leave good friends, no matter how tempting the HDTV your parents has is.

Update! So far, so bad. I'm pretty miserable. Not much else to say.

I don't even know what to write about. I'm in a permanent state of arrested development (hey! that's the name of the show!), trying desperately to figure out the next four months (at least). I figure I need to probably take advantage of my time here in SD, you know, to become a true San Diegan and wear my colors with pride. I spent so much time here before wallowing in my inability to be elsewhere that I'm pretty sure I missed out on a lot of cool things. But, what makes those things better is when you have people to share it with, and as of this moment, I have none of that.

So, here's a call for all of my single lady friends: You wanna get hitched? I'm pretty sure I could be happily married to most of you, so why not, right? As long as you bring the funny, I'm good to go...

But no, seriously... I'm really only half kidding, so... think about it?... Please? *wink*

I dunno. Marriage looks cool and all, from an outsiders perspective, but is it really all that and a bag of chips? Really? Constant companionship from the one companion you get to choose? Always having someone to sleep next to, cuddle with, and talk to? Can't be THAT awesome, can it?
....
No, that's not a sniffle... It's a cold.....
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Okay, there's no need to make the obvious known....

ANYway, enough of the wallowing... On to the next!!
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...
*sniff*